Hi Anna, have you consulted a rheumatologist to see if you have any underlying autoimmune conditions? Inflammation not only makes your body aches but also makes you tired and depressed. I know how you feel as I have an AI condition as well. Once you receive treatment and the inflammation dissipated, you will be back to normal in no time. Stress itself brings on an autoimmune flaring so watch that stress level. Everything seems to overwhelm you at the moment, but once you find another job and becomes financially secured, you will have a different outlook on life. Be more resilient, and make decisions to change your current employment situation. You are a very important person to us, so hang on and be happy.

When eating, try not to watch/read something but just focus on the food right in front of you and how you chew your food and swallow. Be very present in the moment and even counting number of time you chew your food every mouth full can also help with mindful eating. Overweight is also bad for arthritis so be careful you are not eating out of stress. If so, try to find entertainment/distraction between meals so that you keep your mind away from food. Eating healthy such as lot of vegetable and fruit can lift your mood and reduce overall calories in your diet as well. Focus on healthy diet and maybe some vitamin as extra supplement ?
As for work, you need to consider long term that is realistic for you. Maybe you need to cut some work loads/hours or different job ?. Reach out to your family and ask if they can help out while you make some much needed adjustment or time out to heal

Hi Anna. I feel your pain. I just had knee replacement because my arthritis is so bad. I just wish they could replace my whole spine which is riddled with arthritis. While I have not found a drug that takes it all away. I have a combination of meds that does help relieve pain along with exercise. Do you have access to a pain management doctor? A lot of hospitals have programs, they just don’t advertise it. You can ask. I find that pain management doctors and hospice help with getting the services you need to control chronic pain. Be careful with hospice, some can charge outside insurance. Even hospital social workers can help, but you have to request one be assigned to you. I have access to a pain management doctor, psychologist, physical therapist and social worker. They help me manage my pain through medication, support and encouraging me to be the best I can. There is hope out there. Once you start to feel better it helps with depression and anxiety. Sending you support, hope and encouragement.

Hi Anna, you sure described what I go through. I'm trying something new....natural and FOOD home remedies, a lot to help you feel better. I'm just looking into that now. A pharmacist/Chemist I called told me to look into it, I looked @ a few websites, it sure sounds like going that route would be great. I'm gonna try a few of these things.

Hi Anna, I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much. I have been to the point where I don't know why I exist and I don't want to be in pain anymore. But then I remind myself I am special and matter. With depression our thoughts so often tell lies to us like I don't matter, I am always in pain, I am useless - this are lies and not the truth about us. Instead daily I replace those thoughts with I am important, I do matter, I have value. Learning to love who you are helps with the healing process. I actual have a Love Myself Journal. Each day I write down one thing about myself that is positive and true. I had to start small like I have pretty eyes, but over time, I have a long list of what makes me special and unique. I also remind myself every time I spiral that depression is a disease it is not who I am but something I go through at times in my life. Lastly, I would continue trying to find the right medication. You mentioned you are in your 50's. Have you gone through menopause yet? I have found my depression is worse around my menstrual and found out I struggle with Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). I have added B6 to my vitamin supplements and that seems to be helping too. It took my five months of keeping tract when I spiral, how often I spiral into depression, and how soon I began to feel a bit better. I will be praying for you my sweet friend. I know you will feel better. Reach out anytime we are here for you. Hugs and God Bless

How have you been doing this week? I have been praying for you. Hugs

Life is not pointless, it can be a beautiful thing, if you draw close to whats good and stay away from whats bad.