Fighting that battle inside yourself is so incredibly tiring....it takes so much energy, and you know sometimes its just too much. We can't always fight so hard, ya know. Sometimes you just have to let it go, take the Support we can get and go from there. You know how it feels like nobody out there in the real world supports you or gets you or notices that you need more support....well what if the people that seem like they have it all together, their life is great....what if they're having the same feelings, what if their doing what they can to 'get by' also.

Online Support is here for a reason. People don't always have access to what they need out in the real world, but there is generally support here for what you need. You don't have to be happy all the time or strong....your allowed to just "be" allowed to just coast. Sometimes it can help a lot to get all the "stufff" out of your head and put it on paper, letting your brain declutter so you can think more clearly, not constantly running all those thoughts and feelings and emotions over and over and over again....it can feel very freeing.

Hang in there,

kat

I'm hearing you, completely!
Today I have had a really really struggling day. Everything is making me tear up because I am just so tired. Nothing feels right or good enough ATM and I'm sad about everything. The only way I can describe it is that I've come floating down from having my head in the clouds (I'm the happy strong positive one too) and this is reality and it's got me so depressed. I'm angry that without all my constant effort and positive vibe, my life just isn't the same. It's horrible. I notice everything. I notice when my husband doesn't say I love you or reach over to touch me or even start a conversation.... it's always me and so today I just couldn't do any of that and I am miserable. But tired too because how does someone just keep on giving... without a good refill every once in awhile I just think I'm running on empty...
I'm stubborn too because now I just don't want to try because I see others don't. When I put all my effort in - my life is full of happiness and contentment.
I know this might be coming out wrong- please in no way think I am vain- it is quite the opposite actually.
I. Struggling because I feel like maybe I'm living in a fairytale world in my own head most of the time and yet I really don't want to just get by. I want things to be better then just normal.... but reality Isi can't make anyone else want the same things as me I guess....
Ahhhhhhhhh
Sorry for venting on ur post- atleast now u know I DO understand and I am here for u xxxx

Huge big hugs and a shoulder to cry on (that's all I want right now)

I get told that so much that when people learn my life and what I have been through they are shocked. It wears me out though "faking it" sometimes. Other times I truly am happy but then the depression kicks back in again. Don't give up. That's the best advice I can give. At the mental hospital I was in for a week they taught me so much and one thing is fake it till you make it. It is tiring but it does help.

You sound like you're feeling "overlooked". You want the people in your life to pay attention to your feelings and notice that you might be struggling. That is understandable, especially if you are the "happy" and "strong" one for them. I get that! I'm like you. Talking to a counselor and joining support groups (e.g. Young life, church groups, etc.) helped me. Have you considered these?