I know the feeling. Uriko killed herself 12 years ago... The pain just gets worse.... I don't have family either...I know kinda how you feel.

My Sister drowned in her bathtub, while having a Grand Mal Seizure the day before my 13th birthday. No, time does not get rid of the hurt, or the missing, but time does make it easier to deal with as the years go on.

I'll never forget my sister, we were very close, but I concentrate on remembering the good times, the fun we had together and it helps to keep the sad feelings of loss at bay.

Take care,
Kat

Time does not take away that empty feeling, you only find a way to deal with it. You find a way that it becomes you and you can continue with life. I am not sure one thing works for everyone, I think you have to find what works for you whatever that maybe. This is something you will never get over as I have heard so many times. Just try to focus on you and remembering your sister and one day at time.
tamtay

NOOO thats bullshit line of thinking..... I have a similar situation although she is still around and i refuse to fucking believe that she is just gone i wont have my cycle of pain CONTINUE NO LONGER. I AM TIRED OF LOSING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE I CARE ABOUT

I think depending on your beliefs those we love never truly leave us... of course your sister would be proud of you .... she loved you and her love for you will always be with you

I am so very sorry for your loss. Given your profile age, it sounds like you were about 10 or so when she passes away. That is a hard age to lose somebody. How old was she when she passed?

I am sorry your family has cut you off. Can you help us understand, and perhaps give some of their reasons?

Gentle hugs

Sorry for the loss of your sister. Try to concentrate on remembering the good times you had together, You will never stop loving and missing her. Sorry that your other relatives have cut you out of their lives. Possibly you could share a little about the family so that people on this site might be able to help you.

I think your sister would want you to be happy. When my grandpa died, I was devastated, but I imagine to myself that a little bit of him within me, and in order for him to be happy, I must be happy too. Not fake happy, real happy. I hope you find this helpful.

I am so sorry for your loss. And it breaks my heart to hear that your family has cut you off. Can you talk about that at all?

Thank you everyone for replying and for what sounds like u all care... it's very nice and a little overwhelming tbh...
I was 11 when she past and she had just had her 18th bday... at the time I did think I was too little to understand but now that I am older (and through ALOT of counselling I have learnt that the way it was handled just made healing almost impossible. U see my folks , as I have learnt, have always swept things under the carpet and we just never spoke of things that were difficult or not "the norm".
When my sister died, my other two sisters- aged 13 and 15 went off the rails and both ran away from home used drugs and got in trouble with the law. I went from having 3 older sisters to having just my mum and dad. And I was about to start high school too... we never spoke about it. It was just what was... for years!

Anyway as the years went on they came and went from rehab to prison to rehab to living back at home etc etc

My husband and I met when I was only 15 and were high school sweethearts... we got married at 22 and had our first little girl at 27years old.

When she was just 4 years old- only 3 months after she turned 4, she was sexually assaulted by her cousin (my sisters eldest boy- almost 16yrs old) while we were in emergency having a miscarriage on my dad's birthday....

From that moment on- my life flipped upside down and everything I thought I believed in and thought to be true was shattered...

My parents refused to be able to support us as they wanted everything to be forgiven and forgotten. At first I struggled knowing what was right and wrong as never in my life would I have ever imagined this ever happening. My hubby and I had NEVER left our girl with anyone alone, not for any other reason then us believing she was still so little and we were lucky enough to be able to have her with us all the time even at our business while we worked.... until that one day.

I tried everything to help them see how it wasn't "normal" behaviour and it wasn't just a "mistake" - she had four layers of clothes on for starters!

So we begged and we cried for them to see what we saw, but nothing. Then we even tried to just see them for the sake of our girl (with trying to not bring it up around them etc) but that couldn't last long as the interviews and sexual assault crime unit appointments and home counselling sessions were the reality of our lives and because I thought my mum and I were so close I needed to share the stress and pain from it all. As a first time mummy I honestly didn't have any answers on how to handle any of it. But they argued and abused my husband for ever being angry at the fucker who touched our baby...

2 years on and we had our second precious girl. My mum was going to come up to the hospital but she never showed.... said she would come meet her when we got home but never showed... then said it was all too hard and too much has been said and done to ever play happy families again....

That's it...

I sent bday cards and mothers/Father's Day cards for a whole year afterwards and there was never any response....

The hardest part of it all is still to this day dealing with my daughter having counselling weekly and the questions that come up and yet not even her nanny and pops around to help her not feel like she did anything wrong that day that she told me about the "game" he said he had to play but she couldn't tell her mummy and daddy or he will hurt her....

I'm so so so proud of her- my girl is better and braver then her own grandparents , even at the age of 4 she knew something wasn't right.