i hope this is not ur last day and that tomorrow is a little bit easier for u.

Love yourself sweetie. It's the only relief there is. You're worth it.

Where are you today? Please at least post a few words to let others know you are still around?

Unfortunately I'm still around.

I'm glad you're here.

NOT unfortunate for us, you have provided much comfort and understanding to so many here, I hope you will stay around and allow your kindnesses to be returned!!!!

I feel safe in saying your absence(sp) would be a huge loss as well as tremendous heartache for those here left behind.

I don't feel like give anyone enough support, I'm not a good person

There is no "right amount" of support.
Glad you're still with us and hope you feel better soon.

What's going on in your life? Tell us what it is that driving you to this much despair. We can't help you if we don't know what's wrong.

Feeling so hopeless about life, the world, myself, I'm hopeless piece of crap, I see people wearing wedding dresses just wonder what it be like I don't think it happen at all too me I'm to ugly and loser,

You are just unhappy. You are a beautiful person :-)

I am happy you are with us. It means you are strong, you keep fighting.

And the thoughts you have - there are only thoughts. You wrote that you did not give people enough support - are you sure? Ask them, you can be surprised with their response.

Love happens when it happens and when it is meant to be, it will happen for you. Better that it happens when it's meant to be instead of throwing ourselves to someone in desperation and that someone being the wrong person. (I did).

Feeling alone is hard to bear but I know for me, sometimes, I make it worse on myself because I'm so busy grieving over what I don't have that I forget to take note of what I do have.

Please forgive me if I have you confused with another person but aren't you in treatment for cancer?
IF I'm correct, just based on my own experience back in '08, between the radiation and oral chemo, my own depression reached depths I'd never imagined possible.
The meds played a big role in that decline and it wasn't til I was finally off them that I found out just how much they can influence a person's mental state.
Again, IF, I am correct, please call the american cancer society, they have social workers that will talk with you on the phone and can even pair you with another cancer patient/survivor via phone or in person in your area.
Unfortunately, I didn't find all that out til well after the fact.

Aside from that, I hope you can see from the replies you've been given that you do matter to folks here, Heretic said it very well, there is no "right" amount of support, even a hug or a kind word or two could easily make all the difference in someone's life.
You've done that more than once in spite of your own pain, please don't discount your worth to yourself or to us.

Thank you for continueing to share with us, that means a lot and just maybe as you read the replies you will feel at least a bit better.

((((((((((((((((gentle hugs)))))))))))

noodles

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I tried to end it all a few times but now I'd never dream of it.

Yes I am going threw chemo treatments I have another month of it to go through. I do think that since ive been suck my depression has gone to even a darker place and making things feel even more hopeless