Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I feel like....when Im at the bottom of the barrel I always somehow end up on this site....
Anyway nothing unusual but this boy really hurt me recently. I graduated from an MA program at USC film school. Now finally found a job after six months of searching at an entertainment company. Met this boy, working on his film set for free, two weekends in a row, until 6am both weekends. Worked my ass off helping him. I thought he was cute right away. And he was flirtatious with me right away. After I worked on his set we started texting. We texted for about a few weeks....and then my friend asked both of us to help her on her film, so we ended up working together again. When we started working together again, we made plans to hang out, strictly as friends. I was going to come to his place (he doesn't have a car and lives near campus) and we were going to watch each others movies.
Of course, his first idea is to drink, and he pulls alcohol out of his fridge. One thing lead to another and we slept together. It was NOT planned...AT ALL.
There was a point where we were talking and he just kissed me...and it made me smile and I liked it. But immediately after he kissed me he literally took his pants off and got naked. And I was drunk and confused and was asking him...wait...what are we doing? Whats happening here? I'm shy...I wasn't planning this. And he goes, "I want to fuck"
I was drunk, I felt awkward...I knew I had to work with him and a group of my friends for the next two weeks on long film shoots.....so I caved in. I didn't want to embarrass him..I didn't want things to be awkward when we worked together.
So we slept together. Once that time, and again the next morning. And for the next few weeks I kind of had to convince myself that I liked him and that the sex was something I wanted, even though I wasn't ready for it.
We started texting every day. He literally was asking me what I was doing and if I wanted to see him...almost every single day.
We worked on set one weekend and he couldn't stop hugging me and kissing my cheek and he was so affectionate. He would say that he liked me and that he missed me, and that we had a connection.
Out of nowhere, when I confided to one of my friends that we had hooked up, my friend went- STAY AWAY from him, he is bad news. He hooked up with Dream. Dream is this girl friend Thailand, and she is married. My friend was texting me as he was hanging out with them in a group and he was telling me how the guy I was "seeing" was cuddling with her all night and that they slept together and that he is a bad guy and that I should never see him again.
I ignored my friend...until I found out that this guy was going to bring HER on set to help him out. At that point I got really upset and hurt...I started being paranoid. Are they hooking up? Are they dating? Why is he bringing her on set, knowing that I will be there? Is he purposefully trying to hurt me? Am I just this girl that he slept with that he doesn't even care about?
So I decided to confront him. I told him that I found out they slept together and that its hurtful that he would bring her on set, knowing that I was going to be working there as well. Immediately he told me that these "RUMORS" weren't true, and that he never had any romantic or sexual relationships with her and that she is just a friend, and he would never hurt me. And that he liked me and it wouldnt change anything or how he felt about me. He also told me how "hurt" he was that I accused him of such a thing and that he thought I understood him and that I was wrong when I decided to believe others when none of that information was true.
He ended up telling her everything I said, so she never showed up
When we ended up working together a few days later, everything was cold. He barely looked at me, didn't hug me or anything like he used to. When we finally finished at 5AM I was ready to go home, and all of a sudden he asked me for a ride home.
I gave him a ride home and he invited me up.
I assumed at that point that he wanted to sleep with me and I told myself that I should sleep with him...itll make me feel closer to him. We will reconnect and forget these stupid rumors and we will "make up"
He was exhausted and so was I..and I had to go to work in literally three hours. So I tried to have sex with him multiple times.
I know he was exhausted and there were times when he said he just wanted to watch TV with me, but I just wanted to make him feel good and feel close to him again. Eventually he gave in, but the sex seemed cold and distant.
We were supposed to hang out the next night..but when I said my goodbyes and said "See you later?" he completely shut me down and said he is busy, when I knew he wasn't.
I texted him during the day to make sure he was ok. I could tell things were awkward sexually so I asked if I had done anything to make him feel uncomfortable and I apologized if I had
He didn't speak to me all day....until he called me at night. And then ACCUSED me of basically molesting him. He told me that I sexually "took advantage" of him and then proceeded to call me extremely clingy. Proceeded to tell me that he didn't want a girlfriend etc. etc...said he wasn't a "sexual" person.
But he was the one who initiated a sexual relationship. We had slept together for maybe four or five times. So me being horny one night and wanting to reconnect with him somehow screwed everything up? And made me some kind of molester?
He was the one asking me almost every day to see me. Literally texting me every day. Asking me to come over every day. He started ALL of it. And in the end pointed fingers at me and made me feel crazy
THEN, heres the twist. Out of nowhere the other woman, Dream, calls me. That very same night. She heard I was having trouble with him from my friend. And she made a FULL confession of everything. Told me everything was true. She cheated on her husband and slept with him, multiple times. How he was in love with her over the summer. How he still tries to invite her upstairs and sleep with her.
I ended up texting him how hurt I was. That he lied to me. That I feel he manipulated me....that I trusted him and he broke me.
I never heard from him again.
We have a lot of the same friends. I worry that we will run into each other and I am mortified at the idea. I just want to shut off and drink and run away from everyone. I don't feel like I am a part of USC anymore because of what he did. I don't know what to believe
Was I really clingy and did my desire to be sexual with him drive him away? Did it make me seem desperate for affection? I have just been in this tornado of self hate. I feel like an idiot for even texting him multiple times and telling him how much he hurt me. It will only give him ammo to accuse me of being crazy or clingy. I am just so hurt.....
Anyway nothing unusual but this boy really hurt me recently. I graduated from an MA program at USC film school. Now finally found a job after six months of searching at an entertainment company. Met this boy, working on his film set for free, two weekends in a row, until 6am both weekends. Worked my ass off helping him. I thought he was cute right away. And he was flirtatious with me right away. After I worked on his set we started texting. We texted for about a few weeks....and then my friend asked both of us to help her on her film, so we ended up working together again. When we started working together again, we made plans to hang out, strictly as friends. I was going to come to his place (he doesn't have a car and lives near campus) and we were going to watch each others movies.
Of course, his first idea is to drink, and he pulls alcohol out of his fridge. One thing lead to another and we slept together. It was NOT planned...AT ALL.
There was a point where we were talking and he just kissed me...and it made me smile and I liked it. But immediately after he kissed me he literally took his pants off and got naked. And I was drunk and confused and was asking him...wait...what are we doing? Whats happening here? I'm shy...I wasn't planning this. And he goes, "I want to fuck"
I was drunk, I felt awkward...I knew I had to work with him and a group of my friends for the next two weeks on long film shoots.....so I caved in. I didn't want to embarrass him..I didn't want things to be awkward when we worked together.
So we slept together. Once that time, and again the next morning. And for the next few weeks I kind of had to convince myself that I liked him and that the sex was something I wanted, even though I wasn't ready for it.
We started texting every day. He literally was asking me what I was doing and if I wanted to see him...almost every single day.
We worked on set one weekend and he couldn't stop hugging me and kissing my cheek and he was so affectionate. He would say that he liked me and that he missed me, and that we had a connection.
Out of nowhere, when I confided to one of my friends that we had hooked up, my friend went- STAY AWAY from him, he is bad news. He hooked up with Dream. Dream is this girl friend Thailand, and she is married. My friend was texting me as he was hanging out with them in a group and he was telling me how the guy I was "seeing" was cuddling with her all night and that they slept together and that he is a bad guy and that I should never see him again.
I ignored my friend...until I found out that this guy was going to bring HER on set to help him out. At that point I got really upset and hurt...I started being paranoid. Are they hooking up? Are they dating? Why is he bringing her on set, knowing that I will be there? Is he purposefully trying to hurt me? Am I just this girl that he slept with that he doesn't even care about?
So I decided to confront him. I told him that I found out they slept together and that its hurtful that he would bring her on set, knowing that I was going to be working there as well. Immediately he told me that these "RUMORS" weren't true, and that he never had any romantic or sexual relationships with her and that she is just a friend, and he would never hurt me. And that he liked me and it wouldnt change anything or how he felt about me. He also told me how "hurt" he was that I accused him of such a thing and that he thought I understood him and that I was wrong when I decided to believe others when none of that information was true.
He ended up telling her everything I said, so she never showed up
When we ended up working together a few days later, everything was cold. He barely looked at me, didn't hug me or anything like he used to. When we finally finished at 5AM I was ready to go home, and all of a sudden he asked me for a ride home.
I gave him a ride home and he invited me up.
I assumed at that point that he wanted to sleep with me and I told myself that I should sleep with him...itll make me feel closer to him. We will reconnect and forget these stupid rumors and we will "make up"
He was exhausted and so was I..and I had to go to work in literally three hours. So I tried to have sex with him multiple times.
I know he was exhausted and there were times when he said he just wanted to watch TV with me, but I just wanted to make him feel good and feel close to him again. Eventually he gave in, but the sex seemed cold and distant.
We were supposed to hang out the next night..but when I said my goodbyes and said "See you later?" he completely shut me down and said he is busy, when I knew he wasn't.
I texted him during the day to make sure he was ok. I could tell things were awkward sexually so I asked if I had done anything to make him feel uncomfortable and I apologized if I had
He didn't speak to me all day....until he called me at night. And then ACCUSED me of basically molesting him. He told me that I sexually "took advantage" of him and then proceeded to call me extremely clingy. Proceeded to tell me that he didn't want a girlfriend etc. etc...said he wasn't a "sexual" person.
But he was the one who initiated a sexual relationship. We had slept together for maybe four or five times. So me being horny one night and wanting to reconnect with him somehow screwed everything up? And made me some kind of molester?
He was the one asking me almost every day to see me. Literally texting me every day. Asking me to come over every day. He started ALL of it. And in the end pointed fingers at me and made me feel crazy
THEN, heres the twist. Out of nowhere the other woman, Dream, calls me. That very same night. She heard I was having trouble with him from my friend. And she made a FULL confession of everything. Told me everything was true. She cheated on her husband and slept with him, multiple times. How he was in love with her over the summer. How he still tries to invite her upstairs and sleep with her.
I ended up texting him how hurt I was. That he lied to me. That I feel he manipulated me....that I trusted him and he broke me.
I never heard from him again.
We have a lot of the same friends. I worry that we will run into each other and I am mortified at the idea. I just want to shut off and drink and run away from everyone. I don't feel like I am a part of USC anymore because of what he did. I don't know what to believe
Was I really clingy and did my desire to be sexual with him drive him away? Did it make me seem desperate for affection? I have just been in this tornado of self hate. I feel like an idiot for even texting him multiple times and telling him how much he hurt me. It will only give him ammo to accuse me of being crazy or clingy. I am just so hurt.....
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Do you think anxiety is genetic or comes from your environment? What are your thoughts?
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Many of you know Mr K told me to "shut your mouth" in March 2025 when we took a road trip to Alpena Michigan. Since that time, we have had lots of ups and downs but I have never intentionally hurt Mr K in anyway. And when we first started dating in 2024 he let me know, although he is an engineer by degree, he has an extremely low EQ. Overall, he is ok (not off the charts nice like other guys in...
He isn't thinking about you. at all. Not a bit of it.
he is thinking about himself. And his situation. He is seeing that he is in a complicated and uncomfortable spot, and he will attempt to avoid it.
this may involve him not working with you again - most likely in fact. It may require him to tell people stories about you in order to justify that. But you will know, and everyone in town already knows, why he will do this - if he does it.
If you're going to think strategically, you have to think strategically all the way and not let yourself get caught on every conceptual hook he throws at you. It's distraction. Prevarication. Deviation. He would lose points for it on "Just a minute" - a show I really think your generation should have been exposed to. You'd spot these tricks so much more easily if you'd been actively trained to see them.
Just remember that everyone here is thinking strategically and has operated strategically, but you. And you're paying the price, and you'll learn and won't do it again.
What people of my generation learned is a silent core of steel. This means you don't hold anyone to account for anything: that's between them and god or if you're an atheist, them and themselves. It ain't your problem. Your problem is to look after you.
And what this boils down to is getting what you want. So if you want to continue to work with them; you make sure it can still happen. And if you don't want to go home with them again, then you make it so that won't happen.
so you go work with them, you don't complain, you don't accuse or accost or anything. You hold your feelings to yourself. Holding them makes you strong.
And then you're fine and nice and cheerful and friendly (and never do the cold shoulder) but if they want you to go home with them at some future date, that simply fails to take place. You can smile and say you have a date. You can smile and say you're busy. It will be their repeated attempts at getting their way and failing that will be their lesson about you. You can be silent, slow, inexorable. Like the mills of God. No chitchat, just events unfolding, or failing to unfold. This means you can always be smiling, always be friendly, always have the joke, and never get walked on.
You don't have to punish. you don't have to make them feel bad. It's so much better not to try. Attempting to do this is the main error of young people. :D All you have to do is ensure that the thing you want can always happen.
Strategic thinking. Like plotting your course through a rocky harbour entrance. Keep your thoughts on getting to your destination with the least possible collateral damage to your boat. And never let how you feel affect how you steer. :D
Lol. Old lady wisdom. worth what I paid for it: which was decades of my life. I used to be very passionate.
You're not a chattel. Sleep with whoever you like.
Though he is not any better because he showed he didn't have any respect for you with the way he initiated sex the first time. He also took away your ability to consent by getting you drunk.
Did your actions help push him away? Probably, but he wasn't worth hanging onto in the first place. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and let it go because you're better off without him.
I've read the responses you've gotten and you've gotten some great advice and replies I hope you take in. One thing ( that Bridgie addressed ) is you saying this:
"Instead, things ended with him completely insulting and embarrassing me, and now he probably thinks Im this needy crazy bitch who is extremely hurt from what he did. "
Please don't take offense. None intended at all. I don't think he's thinking a rat's ass about it anymore. He's a player, plain and simple. He's sleeping with you after getting you drunk and putting you in a vulnerable position ( gotta wonder how many others he's doing the same thing with ) and he's sleeping with a married woman and he's ofcourse turning things around on YOU once he got busted.
Let him go. Let all of this crap go and go to work and hold your head up high. No more texts, no more communication unless absolutely necessary if you have to work with him. Keep it professional and go on with your business. This too shall pass and let it be a lesson learned. All guys aren't like this one so don't beat yourself up over what happened.
Hugs~
LMT
GBU
DB
;-O
he was self-satisfied and smug that you approached him. Absolutely pleased with himself.
Which is brilliant, because when people are smug adn pleased with themselves they think they're winning against an idiot, and they stop trying so hard to win.
it was a perfect move on your part.
Just stop believing that the sounds from his mouth have any relevance to reality and you'll be right.
The guy's not a virgin. He hasn't taken an oath of celibacy. he was in bed with you.
This is a power trip certain kinds of guy go on. Don't worry about it. "boo hoo I'm the poor innocent victim I will withhold sex because you accused me of cheating" Come ON guys.
I admit you see more of it with girls, but heyvee - accepting your sexuality as an adult is totally fine. you were totally fine. You haven't done anything wrong.
Point to one item you have done that's morally wrong, ie has a victim, and hurt someone. Yeah that's right: nobody.
you have the moral high ground. don't give it up just because someone's playing tricks on you.