Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have been at my current job in a nursery for nearly a year and it has been hell. It gets me down so much and I find it so stressful. I've been trying to look for new jobs the whole time but I find it impossible to attend interviews. The company policy is that you get a disciplinary if you ring in sice three times in six months. Unfortunatly I have been ill with laryngitis and bronchitis, I have an existing shoulder injury from a car accident which the company knew about when I started but sometimes the pain is debilitating and on one occasion I ended up ringing in sick and my doctor signed me off for two weeks in the summer with work related stress, low mood and bereavement. If I take any more time off for an interview they will then mention the disciplinary in a reference, I can also only book my annual leave a month in advance and I don't get that much notice for interviews. I have tried to get some out of work hours but it doesn't seem possible as I work so many hours. I feel like I'm trapped.
I also suffer from social anxiety and am a huge introvert which makes everything seem worse as I find socialising extremely tiring.
recently this has been affecting my mood a lot and I constantly feel sad, lonely, unhappy or sometimes just numb. I sometimes feel like the only thing keeping me going is my weekly counselling session but even then I can't completely open up, I've been trying for nearly a year but I feel like I experience an emotional block whenever I try to talk to her or anyone else so the things I do talk for always tend to be factual things and not emotions and feelings. I know my counsellor is trying to work on this with me but I am finding it so difficult.
Another issue I've had is that I never tend to stand up for myself which results in people walking all over me and taking advantage of my kind nature so I end up doing all the housework in my shared house, buying all the household products and having to fix anything that's broken. This is something I've been trying to change with the help of my counsellor.
One of my housemates has been causing issues since she moved in about a year ago. She is an extrovert and is very loud, very messy and extremely selfish. She does nothing to contribute to the house and I feel like I'm constantly tidying up after her mess. She is one of the messiest people I have ever met and if we run out of toilet paper or something isn't working she messages me and expects me to fix it for her. She sent me a message a few weeks ago saying "we never talk so I don't think we should speak anymore" it was the strangest and most childish message I have ever recieved. I replied to her saying that I have social anxiety and am an introvert and just being at work each day is physically and mentally exhausting for me, when I get home I just want to be alone in my room to recover from all the social interactions I have experienced that day. This was the honest truth and I was trying to help her to understand it. It's true we don't talk much but that's because we both work all week, I need to be alone in the evenings and she is always hungover at the weekend.
My other two housemates don't have an issue, they are just as reserved as I am and like to keep themselves to themselves. We all have our own friendship groups and hobbies and we all respect each other for who we are. We say hi when we see each other and have the odd chat about life and things but mostly we are busy doing our own things and living our own lives, it is just this one girl.
I don't know if I have made a mistake but I had reached the end of my tether. This housemate has been seeing this guy for about five months now and has been sleeping with him on a regular basis since she met him. I have never been introduced to the guy or spoken to him or know anything about him. She has told me that he lives with his ex girlfriend and asked me for advice a few months ago about what I would do if I had found out the guy I was seeing was living with his ex. I answered honestly and said I would dump him. A few weeks ago he went on holiday and didn't contact her for two weeks which she was upset about. I suspect he is still with this other girl but I have t said anything to my housemate because she seems to hate me anyway.
This guy stayed our house on Tuesday and last night she had this guy around again. The issue is that our bedrooms share a wall, I have been quite ill recently and suffer from insomnia so am exhausted and on both these occasions and on dozens of occasions beforehand I have been disturbed as I am falling to sleep by her and her boyfriend sleeping together. She doesn't even have the courtesy to close her bedroom door properly and quite frankly I am sick of hearing her animgus and groaning and her bloody bed knocking against the wall.
I sent her a message saying it was starting to annoy me now and she was being disrespectful to the other people who lived in the house.
I don't regret sending the message because it is the first time I have actually acted on something that's bothering me but she is driving me crazy. She doesn't actually care about anyone else but herself and I am so fed up of her. She is obviously now in a mood with me and is being really nasty to me.
I am just so fed up of everything. I am feeling so low all the time and am just trying to drag myself through each day but am not enjoying life at all. Life actually just feels like a constant chore and I am constantly exhausted. I am really struggling to see the point in anything and I am sick of being walked all over by other people. I am sick of having to shut myself away so that I can have the breakdown that I've been putting off the whole time I'm with people. I am sick of crying and not being able to turn to anybody for help for fear of inconveniencing them or being a burden. I'm sick of trying to deal with all of these feelings on my own. I hate the feeling of wanting to cause myself physical pain to try and release some of what I'm feeling and en having to fight with myself not to do it.
i am just so tired and don't know what to do.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
I turn this white noise machine on, close my door, and finally feel like I have peace and privacy. The brand is Dohm, might be worth looking into.
I know this is a small fix for a larger issue, but at least it might help you regain some privacy so that you can have quality sleep while sorting the other issues out. Hoping you're able to find some peace. Best wishes
1. Give extrovert girl the kick. You love her dearly, she's a great gal, but she's not a good team fit. She needs to find an environment where she is a good team fit. Couch it like that, and be firm and don't budge. She will enjoy life SO MUCH MORE in a much rowdier, more cheerful flat filled with girls bonking guys who already have girlfriends they're living with and obviously, clearly, 100% provably shagging also.
2. Work is sent by God (or whoever you believe in) to break you and remould you in His image. Or something. The universe has sent you this job, and I think it's because it wants you to smash your confinement. You have glass walls around you and your counsellor can't get through them, so life is putting more and more and more pressure on you so that you will have to break them to survive. What is the Universe trying to show you? What is the lesson you have to learn to 'level up' from this nightmare?
Think of each day at work as being a new day, the slate wiped clean. Each day try to do the best you can. Each night, let it go. it sounds easy and it's actually incredibly hard, but remember it in the low times. The people you work with don't all have masters degrees in sociology. If they did they'd be much nicer. But they don't. They barely remember their own names. So take the good out of that. They have memories like bananas. You can manipulate their thoughts as easy as breathing. You don't, but that doesn't mean you can't. Think about that.
Also: you will have to wait six months or whatever, and then look for other work. Most employers are rather kind about seeing them outside work hours when they know your situation. Otherwise get an employment agent. :) PS there must be some system you have because people need to see dentists and doctors. There must be a way for that to take place.
3. Buying all the Stuff.
Are you the owner of the house? You need to get from them all a kitty payment. It's called the kitty in New Zealand. No idea what others call it. A kind of petty cash. They all give you $20 a week and you use that to pay power, phone, toilet paper and whatever. I mean if the price is more you charge more. But it keeps things tidy. And you don't have to pay out of your pocket for things the whole flat uses. If it's your house, it's your rules. Just treat them like you'd treat a six yr old who's fighting. "These are the rules here. If you do not like the rules here, find somewhere to go where you do like the rules."
:) You can do this. I know what crippling GAD is like, but you can do this because you have to. And when you've done it, you'll be bigger, and they'll be smaller, and the GAD will reduce.
You won't be like this forever. As you go through the emotional experiences you get quicker at processing them. They start to be the same as each other and not trigger as much. :)
I have asked if they will contribute towards household stuff, one of them did once but she's now moved away. The others have never paid anything towards stuff they use on a daily basis (toilet roll, soap, hand wash, washing up liquid, cleaning products etc) and they never do any of the house laundry (so you can only imagine what the bath mat and hand towel looked like when I moved in).
I know I'm a little OCD so I accept that if I want to live in a clean house then it will have to be me that cleans it but I don't think I'm being unreasonable to suggest they pay towards the house products and put their rubbish in the bin and not on the kitchen side (it is the extrovert girl that does this).
I get on fine with the other two girls. They are introverts and like their alone time too so they get it. With them it's a relaxed environment where we come and go as we please and don't feel we need to pretend to be people that were not and are comfortable living in the same house.
It only this one housemate that seems set on causing arguments all the time, wants to spend hours asking for advice which she then goes on to ignore anyway and who has no consideration for anyone in the house.
She is so loud, when she's been on a night out she will come in at the early hours of the morning banging doors and shouting down the phone and when he boyfriend is round it is just ridiculous. I really don't want to listen to her moaning and groaning with her door half open. It's even worse as I have to pass her room to get to the bathroom, the head of her bed is against the wall to my room and I had had a really stressful day at work on Tuesday and was at breaking point, I tried some self care by taking a relaxing bath and then was disturbed by them pair. I tried to have an early night and got disturbed again as they went for round two. It's doing my head in and my mood is suffering dramatically as a result.
Work is even more unbearable for me when I am sleep deprived. As I suffer from insomnia it's a miracle for me to start dozing off at a reasonable time in the evening, so to be woken up by my housemate moaning is so infuriating because then I can't get back to sleep and end up staying awake all night.
I am just so tired.
I believe we all have this connection to our creator. Think of prayer as asking for something, and meditation as waiting for an answer. I always got an answer withing a few hours of asking. The biggest thing I had to do to become a better receiver was to let go of past judgements. These are the biggest blocks we have that interfere with our communication link.
That was 8 years ago. Today, I am happier then I have ever been. I have what I need and I never have to worry.
God Bless!