Through a series of events,,,unforeseen events that come out during periods of general life stagnation, I find myself at this particular time of year which throws me into the deep pits of being pretty glum and feeling useless,,,not that I am actually useless,,but the feeling that comes up doesn't make it less real.

This goes well beyond the state of boredom it is well into a depressive mood, that seems irreversable at times ,,,I have come to a conclusion that my particular brand of depression comes from a mixture of fear + anxiety
+ boredom..

I find myself on the down cycle of my emotional well being and it is a terrible place to be ,,,not anywhere one would wish to be a tourist with the equivalent of lost luggage, I have been there too,

I think a good portion of this has to do with my inability or seeming inability to find work. I know that I am not alone in this and I try to correct what seems uncorrectable. I think that for me this is a good part of the problem, but it is certainly not the entire reason for my downslide,

I well realize that there are many, many others who are in far worse situations that I find myself in, I need to find a shovel here that will dig myself out of this hole,,,,not an easy thing to find,

I find it interesting that those who complain most of those who are unemployed are those who have fairly decent jobs, To me that is the height of hypocracy...