Because nothing in life is permanent. It seems like you're at a very low point, if you're this serious about suicide things have to be pretty bad. I know that not everything in life is under your control, but you can make changes that could eventually bring you more joy, peace, contentment, happiness, etc. It really sounds like you need more supportive people in your life, I believe those people are out there and if you give yourself time and the chance you could come across them.

Guys thank you all for support and it brings tears to my eyes that there's people that i don't even know that seem to care about me and want to help me get better but not the ones i thought would care. I always thought that i was a great person, i can learn things really fast i speak 4 soon to be six languages, i like everything and its hard tho to understand that i still feel like i don't belong here anymore, i just help people too much and i cant seem to get girlfriends to take me seriously because of this so i never had one, but with the one i did almost have i learned that emotions don't seem to matter to those that don't have the ability to understand them like i do so i guess im just being really hard on myself instead of actually being what i was raised to be, A chivalrous man, even though respect for those guys went a long time ago i don't care this is who i am, thank you all for the support and i Promise to give support back as best as i can. and i should probably get rid of the depressive people like my brother who keeps telling me to be a man whore lol.

yes dumbidiot you are attractive, i just don't see you having a very hard time finding someone else.
really, you seem very sensitive and want the best for yourself and its all gone to the shite pile right now
will it get worse? yes it could. If you choose to kill yourself and not wake to another day to try again that could be the worst.

wow almost 6 languages? are you kidding?
you are really intelligent, smart guy!!
believe me it will be a while before you find right girl to be with you. take it slow and be careful, actually i think girls find you rather very like a bill gates. maybe you just need to go out and make your millions first, cause the potential is there!

sometimes i feel like giving up too and i actually have attempted suicide a few times and i still feel like that but now i realize that is not
the answer for me i have to fight at being alive as much as i have those feelings and sometimes i have to live in minuites worth of time to get through things i do square breathing when i panic i breathe out for four seconds and then breathe in for four seconds and keep doing it until the panic slows down or goes away and i also reached out to a church because i knew absoulutely no one other than my x and his friends because i moved to his town to be with him and we broke up. that was the best thing i could do for myself it was so hard to go there by myself and it was such a low key church and they greeted me with warmth and hugs and i enjoyed the service and i cried through all of it but i needed to realease what was going on inside of me with the break up of someone that i love so much and now 2 months later i attend a divorce care group and also a womens group and i have connected with a cpl of people that i can relate to and now i'm not as alone it still is tough but now i know i have made a new life for me and i can do this without him and i can move on and still feel like living i still love him and i know i always will but i'm special with or without him and i wish him happiness and i am deserving of happiness to although it is a daily struggle but i'm fighting every day for me because i am the most important person to me and i have to put me first and so do u u have to put u first and know that u r a worthy person and u deserve happiness and its a fight sometimes to get there but u totally cannot give up

I think that you're right, that you are being really hard on yourself. It sounds to me like you're a very sensitive person who feels things very deeply. I do too, and I know that can make life difficult and painful at times. It also seems like for some reason guys like you who are really kind and giving end up with women who are selfish and take advantage of them. As others have said also you are an attractive guy. It seems to me like you have a lot to offer, try to just take one day at a time and I really do think things will turn around for you. I know it sounds like you don't think much of medication, but have you ever tried therapy? You seem very introspective and insightful, I think those are traits that fair well in therapy. Just a thought...

i understand how u feel sometimes i feel invisable to people i feel so inferior like i'm not exciting enough or loud enough or i let someone else be centre of attention because i'm nice and they don't even know but i know in my heart i'm a good person and i'm a loyal friend but sometimes u get left in the dust and not get noticed because of that but i figure they need it so i just stand back and let them have it but u know what i noticed more people have told me stuff that they have never told anyone ever in their lives and to me that shows me that i am important and when it comes right down to it that's what matters in the end and someone will see who u really are and the ones that don't well don't sweat they don't deserve to

Edi - First off, you are 21. 2 - 1. You have barely started getting your adult life together. Why the rush on wife and kids? Get out there. Try to enjoy yourself a bit, all that will come when you do. Cut yourself some slack. It's clear you are smart as hell and have plenty to offer a partner. You have to give life a chance to come to you, this isn't a marathon. And, if you end it all? You sure as shit aren't going to be able to experience all of that, now are you?

Edi - First off, you are 21. 2 - 1. You have barely started getting your adult life together. Why the rush on wife and kids? Get out there. Try to enjoy yourself a bit, all that will come when you do. Cut yourself some slack. It's clear you are smart as hell and have plenty to offer a partner. You have to give life a chance to come to you, this isn't a marathon. And, if you end it all? You sure as shit aren't going to be able to experience all of that, now are you?

Edi - First off, you are 21. 2 - 1. You have barely started getting your adult life together. Why the rush on wife and kids? Get out there. Try to enjoy yourself a bit, all that will come when you do. Cut yourself some slack. It's clear you are smart as hell and have plenty to offer a partner. You have to give life a chance to come to you, this isn't a marathon. And, if you end it all? You sure as shit aren't going to be able to experience all of that, now are you?

is it even worth experiencing when i cant appreciate my life but i appreciate everyone else s, besides if i am feeling like this at 21 forget 40, end is near for me i just seem to delay it.

Hi
I came across your post and I just wanted to share something with you. I was going to kill myself yesterday. I recently have been having horrible thoughts, similar to yours, and decided yesterday while I was at work that after I got off I would go kill myself. I recently did something dumb to a good friend of mine and since then I've been pretty much putting myself down. I still hate myself, feel hopeless, feel like no one will ever care about me. I'm always so focused on other people perceive me that when something does go wrong I become really upset to the point where I don't eat because I'm stressed and I do physical harm to myself.

The reason why I didn't don't it is because for once I want to prove myself wrong. Yes there are alot of things, just like you, that I don't like about myself. A WHOLE LOT! But I remember a time that I was happy, and I want that feeling back. I want to my happy and carefree. And I want that for you too. You said its been 7 years since you've give up. I'm 23 and I've been made fun of since elementary shcool. But (and I will have too work on this too) you can't always worry about other people sometimes. Yes, most times nice guys finish last, but just because your last doesn't make you less important. Nice guys may finish last, but it's usually the nice guys that are ginuwinely happy with their lives. Even the richest man isn't completely happy.

So I say don't give up. As much as I didn't think I could try any harder to get better, I'm giving it one more real chance, and I think you should too.

you want depressed and on the edge of disaster? here ya go mate, i am 39 years old and almost 3 years ago my kids mother took her own life. just after that when i was and still am a total basket case, drunk, and drugged up, social services came along and took my babies. now i HAVE nothing to live for, N O T H I N G. i was on the verge of going to a sporting goods store and buying a gun to blow my head off. due to what has happened to me i might be justified in doing so. i sit around and when i go out i see EVERYONE doing great, happy faces, smiles all around. i sit here in fucken misery, wanting to find a quick and easy solution to my problem. there isnt a quick and easy solution, there never is. we must take time out of our lives, find the things that make us stronger and use that strength to overcome the madness inside. i dont want to be here or alive either, but i HAVE to change that way of thinking before i am just another statistic. i have been to counseling and i have seen doctors, trust me the medicine is they give you any, wont make you a zombie, drooling idiot. they try out different kinds of meds and find what works for you the best, and guess what, your still normal. i cant change your thought or even force you to not hurt yourself, thats up to you. all i can say is, i wish i was 21 years old today with my whole life ahead of me and not 39, broken and battered with tons of mileage on my depressed brain.