I am able to listen if you need an ear? Very sorry you feel at your wits end.. I know, how overwhelming life can be for many of us. Peace!!

What is there to talk about? I'm just a pathetic waste of space and I should be alive anymore. I don't deserve to be. I just need for all of this to stop.

All the things you say, I have felt too.. Looks like I am stuck here for a while yet and I am not going down without a fight.. I don't like to use the word "hate" but this is how I feel about my mental illness.. It will take you to the darkest of places and tell you lies.. Everybody deserves to live a life of worth..You have many years ahead of you and I know you wont think this right now..But things can change for the better..Sometimes all we can do is sit and wait it out.. Then seek help, when we are able too.. It's not easy and takes real fight.. I hope you can find the fight within yourself.. Not trying to sugar coat things...I am fighting urges too..

I've been waiting for so long. It might not be as long for some people...but it's too long for me. I can't deal with this anymore. I'm so tired of trying. It does nothing. Never. I took four more pills. I don't know why. Something is just wrong with me..

I dont know how I have lasted this long either.. Drives me crazy too, living a life with a mental illness that takes over your all being.. Are you seeing anybody right now? I am under the local crisis team here atm..Was a big step for me to reach out again..But I knew I was heading to a bad place and did something about it.. I will gladly go on chat for a while if you need to talk.. Just dont like to see anybody feeling this way...Mainly because I know how bad it feels...It's beyond belief really..

I have a therapist. I see her once every two weeks. All we can afford..I can't get the chat to work. Someone else tried that too..sorry. I just can't control myself anymore. Like I saidm I've had some drinks, so I have the courage to take more pills. I am usually too scared to, but right now I am so beyond caring.

Are you alone in your home? If not, you must wake somebody up now!! Please do it for yourself..I will not say everything will be OK...But you have to keep fighting...You are so young..Sad. we can just keep talking here if you want? I am listening to music right now..Who do you like to listen to Jenn??

Both my parents are sleeping. I'm not waking them up for something stupid like this. No. Sorry but no. I can't. I doubt what I took and drank will kill me so I'm fine. I am listening to music. I listen to everything. Right now I'm listening to Tornado by Jnsi. I'm tired of fighting. I feel like I'm fighting a terminal illness. I just cna't..

This is not something that is stupid!! You matter to them Jenn.. Know you probably dont feel like you do..But you are their baby...I have to fight urges to drink, because I know what will happen if I do...You must stop this drinking...The short term benefits are outweighed by how we feel after drinking to much.. I have jonsi playing right now...beautiful song!!! Thanks. :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8mcFSWcvNo

It is something stupid. I won't die from 12 Advil and alcohol. I'll be fine. So there is no need to get them. They have my perfect sister, they will forget about me eventually. I'm not drinking anymore because I ran out. I would be still drinking if I had more...I only can get happy when drinking so why stop? I'm always miserable otherwise. And mayube drinking will help me in killing myself. I'm too much of a baby to do it otherwise. Yeah it is good music.

Drinking will never be the answer, I am sorry but drinking only makes things worse in the long run.. I know two people who are alcoholics and I can assure you, their lives are not made any easier by drinking..Only worse, both physically and mentally.. Deep down, even when in the darkest of places.. We want to get better right? Nobody would want to live this way..I believe all of us have it in us to change.. Really loving the mellow sounds of Jonsi... Thanks for making me aware of this beautiful music... :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jO1yppFk1yA

I'm not an alcoholic. It's not even legal for me to drink. I'm only 20. I just drink when allowed. Nobody would want to, no. So I don't want to live. It's not a problem I can just fix. The only fix to life is when it ends, which it always will, so why wait? You're welcome.

Wasn't saying you were an Alcoholic at such a young age.. Just have seen what it does close up.. You must talk to your therapist and be 100% open with her/him.. Not saying you can be free of feeling like you do..But I believe we can all manage our illness better.. I am not making light of your illness or circumstances.. I hope you can find the strength inside to make things better for yourself...Peace!!!

I am open with her. She knows how bad I am. She just hasn't put me in the hospital yet because I haven't said the words "I am going to kill myself." Things will never get better. Not really. I know this. So I don't see a point in caring.

Are you feeling any better today honey??

I have been where you are, so many of us have. It is a horrible, lonley place to be and I am so very sorry you are there now.

Say the wors to your therepist, go into the hospital, it helped me maybe it will help you too.

I know you are scard, angry, tired and in so much pain you cannot see straight but it CAN get better. It really can honey.

Hang in there, I am here if you need to talk.

Hugs
Kallie