no its not, you just told me all the plans you have for the future...you can get there, your just going to have to ask for help.....its worth it, trust me....you have a life to live and you can have that....right??? its what you want....to help people, once you get through this youll be able to help others get though the tough times to.....what a life that will be...

Listen to Jann, Katie. She's making alot of sence:)

I do not think it is worth it though. I just pray that I will get cancer. O, that would be so, so great.

Why not pray that you will be healthy?

I have for many, many years.

Katie, tonight is not the night. Suicide is permanent and I think I'd be something you'd regret especially since you have so much to offer the world. I recently went through a very dark period in my life. I'm still coming out of it, but one of the things that I realized is that now I understand what depression feels like. I'm an attorney, so I can offer this to the clients I help. I promise you will be a much better clinical social worker having gone through this. I know it sucks, but hang in there. It will get better, it really will. If you really feel that tonight is the night, please call your doctor back. Please promise us that...

but you dont have cancer, you have a mental disease....and like cancer it has to be treated. it can be controlled but you need to ask for help....you can get better you really can....

Katie, while you were at your doctor's appt did you mention to your doctor how badly you are feeling? Do your parents know how badly you are feeling? You should ask for help. Don't be afraid to reach out.

I did not tell my doctor because I was afraid of going back to the hospital. The same goes for my parents, but also I do not want to cause any more stress on my loving parents.

They'd rather have you in the hospital safe, than you being hurt. And I would too. It'll get better. Really.

Thanks for all your help guys. I should just leave now and contemplate my decision about what I should do tonight.

Katie, I am going to butt in here and tell you that you will cause your loving parents a h*ll of a lot more stress if you died than if you talked to them. You, yourself called them loving parents, so I think they will stand by you, no matter what the problem. Trust me on this. You have a great future ahead of you and at the risk of throwing out a cliche, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, you know?

Some depressions are simply a chemical imbalance in the brain and medications are the answer. Talk to your therapist, REALLY talk to your therapist and explain what you are going through, even the fear of going back to the hospital and see what y'all can work out. They are there to help you, not hurt you. You may have to contract not to harm yourself (which would be a good thing) and that might keep you out of the hospital. Promise to call your therapist/doc if you keep feeling suicidal. Meanwhile keep talking to us and there are numbers at the bottom of each page here on DS for crisis hotlines. There are always people to talk to here and if you don't like giving details in a public forum, IM one of us. We would be glad to talk to you.

You have a great future ahead of you, don't decide to end it on a whim. One of these days, I might need to see a social worker and it may happen to be you! So, think of all those people you would be helping.

Warm safe hugs and lots of kitty purrs--Laura

Please don't leave Katie...not unless you are leaving to get help. I lost my very good friend in a car accident two years ago...I don't want your parents to go through what I went through...and their pain would be MUCH MUCH greater than mine. Think about Jesus' pain on the cross, it will get you through. Ask Him to hold you and comfort you and he will. Just be still.

Hi Katie, I don't want to wait till I die to get to know you... please get some help soon... you so very much deserve to not feel so horrible daily... you really don't.

RICHARD

I promise I will not kill myself tonight. Hopefully I will get better soon. I will also tell my psychologist my thoughts the next I see her. Thanks again for all your help. I hope you guys all know how much I appreciate all the comments. It is really amazing the help that a site like this could do. Thanks and God Bless! I will not kill myself.