Sounds like you need to talk to your parents and perhaps go back into the hospital. The dangerous thoughts you're having can take over before you know it.

Please be safe and talk to your parents.
Kat

My parents don't care, no one does. Ive been thinking maybe it would be better if I was gone.

I care.
I'm in a very, very similar place. I'm 18 and have had symptoms of depression since I was 12. Please try to hold on. It's so hard, I know. I'm slowly committing suicide right now, in a sense, by keeping myself from drinking water, so I get it. I really, really do. It feels hopeless, right? And you're probably tired of hearing everyone tell you to get better, or make you feel like it's your fault. But it's NOT. Please do anything you can to find some relief, but try not to self harm. Maybe I'm a bit of a hypocrite, okay. But I hate that you're suffering so much. We can get through this. I'm typically a very pessimistic person so the fact that I'M saying that must mean there really is a chance. You can do it. I'll add you to my prayers. I know it's hard, but you are strong- you've made it this far, after five years of torture and agony and depression. I admire your strength and perserverance, especially if people in your life are not supportive. If you need someone to support you, I'm here, and I want to be there for you. I don't want you to feel like nobody cares because I do, and it seems to me, Kat does, too. And I've totally felt it would be better if I was gone, too. But it would be such a shame for someone as amazing as you to leave the earth so early. I see a potential in you that maybe you can't see right now, and I know you could do so much with your life. So please carry on. I know, it's torture. But, let's survive together.

I am so sorry you are feeling so badly. I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I was a child. Didn't get any professional help until I was in my thirties, but needed to before that. I know you said that your parents don't care, but have you talked with them about how you are feeling and that you are feeling suicidal so they can get you the help you need. I am positive that your parents do love you and don't want anything bad to happen to you. You are a worthy person who deserves to be alive and happy. Please don 't do anything to harm yourself. If you get desperate, please call a suicide hotline. I hope you can get the help you need as soon as possible.