Hi Cleric...If you are mostly alone at night, odds are this is why it resurfaces then. When we are alone and especially if you are battling depression, loneliness, etc., the night time hours can be the longest and the hardest to deal with. I have been in your shoes at times but you fight it...you keep reaching out to those in your life or those on here or where ever you can get some support. I actually used to isolate even more when I felt like this, which made everything that much worse...so, yeah, keep reaching out and if you have the option for professional help...it's a good route to go.

Depression robs us of our ability to think rationally at times and with that said, starvation would be a horrible way to leave this world...please reconsider....no doubt you have people in your life that would be incredibly sad if you chose to leave. Sometimes when we are facing the darkness we have to find something, anything to hold onto...I hope you are able to do that. I wish you some peace and the ability to realize you deserve to enjoy your life...we all do. Hang tight Cleric...you can work through this. ((hugs))

I am incredibly sorry that you're so down that you're considering such a hideous way "out." My heart goes out to you.

I beg that you consider the consequences. This is not a quick way to go.

You will experience some truly horrific symptoms, and they will last and last and last. If you're currently in good health, your body will fight like hell to stay alive. Our bodies are actually stronger than we usually think. This could easily drag on for years and years, and they will not be fun years.

If you have been reading pro-anorexia websites, I'm sure you know the physical effects. If not, please feel free to PM me and I can give you the gory details...I don't want to take up your whole post though.

I've been through this and am still going through it. And I am literally begging you to talk this out with a professional before you start down this very dark, very hard, very lonely road. It leads nowhere, and it takes you there very painfully.

Huge hugs to you, and I hope that you can banish this thought very soon.

Please pay attention to what Summer posted. There could be permanent damage done even if you changed your mind. This thought can be stopped. Please know that people care as Summer has so eloquently pointed out.With their caring and compassion( mine included) their is hope.

Hi Cleric75:
I can tell you that I have done this exact thing, back in 2008. Now in my case, not only was I doing the starvation diet, I was also going through medication withdrawl. And yes, I was on a LOT of meds prescribed by dr's for chronic pain and depression.
What happeened with me, was the fact that I went through complete withdrawl, and as a result attemped suicide, by jumping of a bridge on a major freeway. The only reason I survived, was because city police, called out a rescue boat, to pull me out of the river and take me to hospital. Don't fallow my path. It will be a long and painful recoivery if you survive. Sorry if I sound so negative, but I am offering my experience with this, and it wasn't a good outcome.
If you need help, send me a private message, and i'll do what I can to be of some support for you............

hi cleric, I suffer from severe depression and sometimes i jus dont feel hungry at all. I would of never thougth in a million years depression could affect me so terribly. Depression does rob us of thinking rationally. I have thought bout jus not eating but keep going for my loved ones even when i feel so much pain inside. Starvation would be a horrible way to go. I do believe the body is stronger than we know by that i mean the way i feel inside right now im suprised i havent died yet cause i feel so horrible if im not depressed im anxious or both. Ive isolated so that only makes me feel much worse. I find the daytime is much worse for me than night. I will be praying for you and know your not alone and that people here on ds know what your going through. I have found i get more support and understanding here because people here know what its like to suffer from depression and anxiety. Please hang on and keep fighting. Hugs

Hello cleric,
I am depressed and lost a lot of weight and felt like maybe I was subconsciously doing what you are writing about, I don't know if that is what I was trying to do but some doctors said maybe I was??

I pray you can eat and not lose any weight, I had horrible pain and was dehydrated, not fun, and was in hospital 3 times for the low weight and dehydration.

at night we are alone with our thoughts,it is quieter, days are busier with activity and it seems different.

Like everyone else, I agree, there is hope