I have gotten really, really sick.  It has hung on so long, like two weeks. Usually get sick working at the schools and I did.  I used up my sick time. I finally got back to work, and then came home yesterday, didn't feel like eating much throughout the day.  By the time I came home, I felt horrible, had pains all over my body.  I felt so sick to my stomach I didn't eat any dinner.  By late evening, my temperature shot back up to almost 100 degrees, I really didn't want to miss another day of work, but it's probably good I am home...again...I am sore all over, coughing, my ear and face hurts, but thank God my fever is down, that is the worst part.  This is costing me so much money to be this sick.  I slept 12 hours.  Fever is gone but feel pretty meh.

I'm glad that I had therapy earlier this week, I really needed it.  In such a slump.  Earlier this summer I talked about trying to find work and how when I did, I didn't get paid. I did take the long-term teaching job but it was such a disaster, the kids were totally out of control and and so combative, I had to let that go.  Got sick at the end of my first week.  I am now getting paid less money to work shorter-term jobs, and working in special ed really isn't my thing, but that is what I will be doing for the next week or so.

I am so upset about the state of my life. I am *trying* to find decent full time work in my new field, the applications and rejection letters are just a revolving door. I really am so upset, I dont' know what to think.  Being this sick makes me feel more depressed because my body literally just doesn't want to move.  I signed up to this influencer's 'career coaching call' but was instantly rejected after clicking on it because I wasn't a good fit...?

In a couple of weeks I am supposed to go to a job fair. I've never gotten any results from one, but it can't hurt. It's for students and alumni and I am a recent alumni.  The registration link said that my registration doesn't guarantee my entrance to the fair. I sure hope that they don't turn me away...it's a long way out there and I will be taking a day off of work.

Have you ever noticed that there are so many young 'success influencers' out there-like they are all over the place, they offer coaching. Most if not all of these people are entrepreneurs, and I'm not an entrepreneur, so I don't think that they can help me with changing fields. I'm going to meet with someone next week from the college to see if I can teach some college courses now that I have a Master's.  I might have to get a few more credit hours to teach in a certain field. We'll see. I used to be a teacher so I'm wondering if I can get into what is called instructional design-designing courses for corporations. Thing is-all of these fields, whether research, design, or instructional design require a portfolio.  This includes technical writing as well.  I have only a visual design portfolio.  Literally all of the 'entry level' jobs require like five years of experience.  Teaching never required any actual experience to get a job. I literally had a job within weeks of graduating from the teaching certificate program. I just don't get it.

The only entreprenurial thing I could see myself doing is to write an e-book, on what I don't know. I don't want to write about DV or my traumatic past, that is only gong to stir up a lot of bad things. But I'm sure there are people who could resonate. They say 'write what you know'.  I saw an influencer say that an e-book could be a great digital asset, and I agree.  I know people who have made a lot of passive income writing books-teachers/administrators, writing on educational topics.  This influencer used to be an S-worker, not that I would hold it against her, but she was positioning herself has having made millions being an entrepreneur, but that first half million or so was as an S-worker. Good for her that she left, but it does sort of take away a little of her credibility for me.  I just don't know what to do here. I have heard the job market is bad for everyone.