Hi everybody,

Today I went back to old habits (going unnamed as to avoid triggering others).  I have a hard time stopping once I've started, and I'm worried these next few days/weeks are going to be consumed by me trying not to do it again.  Once I get passed that, I should be okay for at least a while.  I don't feel comfortable talking about this with my friends, not because they won't be kind, but because they have struggled with this kind of thing in the past, and I don't want to risk causing them to do it again as well.   

Also, I haven't felt as close with them since we got back to campus.  I had hoped that we would be able to see each other more often once we were all in the same state again, but with the workload we haven't been able to.  I'm hoping this feeling will fade soon ://.  It's just hard because they all live in the same dorm and see each other most days, while I see them maybe once every week or two. 

I was thinking about talking to my mom about it, and I know she'd be really nice.  She's been understanding in the past, but I know it hurts her when I'm sad/making these decisions.  Last time I told her I was feeling low, she drove to campus and brought me home for a week out of concern.  She's a very loving person, but I don't want her empathy to cause her further pain.  

I really just don't know what to do, and I know I should consider therapy, but I just don't think that's in the cards for me right now.  I tried the provided counseling service for students, but they couldn't meet more than once every three weeks due to the amount of people seeking help right now.  

To close, I really wanted to send out a quick thank you to everyone on here! This is the best and most active support site I have encountered, and I think it's a really beautiful thing to see so many people here for each other.  Thank you all for building this community <3