Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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QPXZ 09/10/2013

I was wondering if my life is so lousy because of what I did or circumstance. There are a lot of people I have met who have good jobs and decent lives and they think it is because they are smart or worked hard. Although that may be part of it, I think they were just lucky. They had people or events in their lives that brought them to where they are. People have treated me badly in the past and I had no control over that. Some people said I was too nice and trusting. In therapy in the past I have been told When I am negative it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I was told that a lot so they must teach it in school. I think it puts the blame on the patient. There is no way in hell I wished my parents to be sick or my fiance to die. I am sure unemployed people hope they get a job and sick people wish they were well. I am sure a lot of our decisions bring us bad luck but sometimes even people who are not good come out on top and pride themselves on their accomplishments. I would never wish this depression on myself or anyone else who is decent. It takes a strong person to remain positive when bad things happen and I am not strong but is it all my fault? Do we really have control? I keep going back on my life and try to see what I should have done to not end up here. Has anyone else been told about the dreaded self fulfilling prophecy in regards to their depression and life.

QP

deleted_user 09/10/2013

Of course, and I've heard you need to put yourself out there, it's karma and all that other bullshit.

I do not believe in karma, I have witnessed people do some of the most awful things in the past and are extremely successful this day.

According to many people it is our fault because we chose the wrong fork in the road, or we did not try hard enough, we're straying away from God, or we are being punished for our past lives or experiences. Basically heard it all.

I blame myself and regret many things but I have looked into my past and can't imagine what horrible event has led me down this path. I did not choose many of the things I've gotten dealt, and most were completely out of my control too.

No one chooses to get raped, or have a debilitating disease, or lose a loved one because they are sometimes negative.

Luck probably has dealings in many things, that I can believe. You either are lucky or you aren't.

QPXZ 09/10/2013

Thanks for that LeeLeeMon. I have kinda always thought that but I was reading a self help book that seems to put the blame on the individual when things are not going well. Like those positive thinking books that say you let one negative thought enter your head so that is why you were dealt those cards. All those things you said I heard also. I hear people say what goes around comes around but like you I see awful people who are happy and successful. My doctor had mentioned maybe therapy but why pay someone to tell me that it is my own fault. The closest I read about why bad things happen is because they just do. I was kinda mad when I read that and my religious relative said because God is preparing us for something great. I haven't see that much. Some say adversity helps us grow but I see myself getting weaker each time a bad thing happens and hanging by a thread. Yeah I think it mostly comes down to luck.

QP

Heathersfaith 09/10/2013

I don't think its that easy. In order to get closure on anything I would have to take each thing that I feel an injustice about and really ask myself . Is this situation my fault , sometimes yes and sometimes no.
If I see that nothing is my fault then I could conclude that life is about luck and unluck. I don't think that would be true. Because even if something wasn't your fault its still your baby to deal with and how are you dealing /handeling it?
Have you ever heard that is 98% of how we react to things .
No luck. Just like bike riding lean to the left to far and you fall lean to the right to far you fall so you try and balance it out .
Make lemonade when life gives you lemons.
Not given good cards, me either . but I bet those awful people you are talking about that you say are successful , they are in this game of life just like us and believe me they have their own stuggles you just don't see it its the law of gravity to have trouble and problems challenges . Wouldn't it be boring if we didn't . Peace to you

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QPXZ 09/12/2013

Actually I would like to be bored for a good long time. I think I react accordingly to events. If it is broke I fix it, but I am getting really rotten lemons and you can't use those. I know other people have it bad but like someone on this board said there are millions who have it better. How can you react well to one thing after another without at least a breather. We have all seen movies where someone goes through a trial but at the end they have peace and it is better. Even though those awful people seem to have it good or really do, I wouldn't want to be them. I am a nice person so there is no Karma. I pray all the time and prayers are not answered. Everyone has a negative thought now and then so I eliminated that so I still think it is luck. Even those with strong will to overcome adversity were born that way so they are lucky. I am not strong enough to fight a constant battle with life so the only thing that keeps me going is hope and what is hope but wishing for a bit of luck.

QP

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