Have you tried writing it down? Make a list of the things you think are wrong and then consider it a to do list of things to fix. Sometimes putting it on paper can help. Or in a journal. Big hugs!

I love AnxietyFreak40's idea - that might be a big help. I really wish I had something to add or offer. I know how frustrating it is to struggle with these feelings. I hope you have a better day tomorrow, and if you ever want to talk feel free to message me. *hugs*

What kind of outpatient plan was formulated when you were nearing discharge at the hospital? Do you have follow up appointments with a doctor and a therapist?

You are NOT worthless, and who said you were not noticed being gone?? Only you. Big HUgs

What triggers your mind to make you feel this way? One thing i learned is you are in control of your own thoughts. Hardest thing I still struggle with is controlling and changing those thoughts. You are definitely not worthless! your mind is playing tricks on you. When you feel yourself getting upset just stop what you're doing.. Take a deep breath and tell yourself to stop. Talk to your self.. Change your thoughts. For a long time I would stop and say "Think of Bananas" cause it was completely random and I would seriously picture a banana! And then I'd say "you're ok, just keep thinking of bananas and how they're yellow and yummy and maybe I should bake... (My mind would wonder)" but I continued to tell myself I'm ok" because I was ok but my mind was trying to convince me that I wasn't and honestly something so rediculous would distract me from going down a really dark path. Sometimes I'd start laughing and think wow I'm crazyyy... Bananas!! My nephew wasn't good and handling his emotions when he was a child and one day I told him "just think of bananas when you get upset" and to this day he controlled his emotions and still thinks of bananas. It's ridiculous but it was the only way I could change my thoughts.

Don't let your mind control you.. You are the boss of your own thoughts.. So when you start saying words like worthless and start feeling suicidal.. Stop.. Breath.. Think of bananas ;) . And tell yourself your ok.. Talk to your mind... You need to tell the negative side to stop. Because you are now the one in control.

You're not alone; many of us have had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn't mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. This pain seems overwhelming and permanent at the moment. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass give some time,everybody exists in the earth for a reason peoples most often fail to find it.that could be something please find the reasons and try to move forward.

Thank you all for your support. I haven't been on in a few days. I've been kind of taking a break from being online. I am seeing a therapist every week and trying to do all the things from my outpatient plan. I know that I will go through these waves and slowly they will get easier....I just have to train myself to think the better things. Thank you guys for all of your support. It seriously means a lot.

Look at your Avatar with that beautiful smile and face... That alone should cheer you up!! Hugs. GB

Gramybear - You really made me smile and remember the day that picture was taken! I was on my way to a lecture and book signing and was feeling great. It was a feat for me at that point to get out of the house, and I remember being so proud of myself. Thanks for that reminder. Hugs back to YOU!

@lola - I LOVE the banana story. You are right. It DOES help! I asked myself last night "What would that banana in the kitchen think of me laying in bed feeling sorry for myself?" And I got up and walked myself into the living room with my hubby! :-)