I'm sorry to hear that, Rian. What happened?

Oh Rian, you don't look like a monster. It's your insecurity talking.

You've been through a lot, and I can understand the frustration, despair and disappointments that you have had from your personal tragedies. There must be a point where you say "I have enough, I will not take up the disappointments, stress, confusions, betrayal, frustrations, heart breaks, loneliness..... any more", and leave all of these things behind you. When you treat these feelings (disappointments, stress, confusions, betrayal, frustrations, heart breaks, loneliness..) as nothing, then you will be immune to the pain. Once the pain has dulled, you can progress to a new stage of your life and start anew. Have a fresh beginning, so to speak. You are still young, there is still plenty of time for you to start a new life elsewhere, new job, new family. By the time your daughter has grown up, over time and distance, things may not be so desperate as they are now.

Geeze you got a lot going on!!! Try and narrow it down so you can find an answer to some of these issues.
Hope you feel better soon!

Hi Rian, we all feel that way sometimes. It is human nature. Don't let those normal human feelings overwhelm you. Know that you were created as a perfect individual and were created to do great things - and remember great things are just those things in your life (it doesn't mean you need to find a cure for cancer! lol). Prayers coming your way! Don't let the day get you down because tomorrow can always be better.