For days now I have stayed in bed and in my pjs until I had to force myself to get ready and go to work a 3 pm. I finally got out last night and watched my grandson in a high school musical had to force myself to go and if I didn't love him more than life I would have not gone. I was off again today and I wanted to stay in bed but I forced myself up and I put my shoes on for some reason getting dressed and putting my shoes on makes me able to function. I had to immediately make the bed so I would not be tempted to retreat. I had to bail my son out of jail last night with what little finances I have left. If he had done anything I wouldn't have but this is from a many year battle with is exes mother trying to get his kids, every time she made false allegations they were proven false and vindictive but one right person came along for her and we are back in court. She keeps driving by his house taking pictures and in general harassing him. She currently has the kids even though she was (is) a meth addict. I ask the courts to have her be drug tested while the kids were living with her and now she will not let me see them. It is a long story. My depression is the worst it has ever been but for some reason when I put my shoes on I feel some strength odd I know maybe I nee to wear them 24/7! She says he broke an order of protection and was following her around in his truck trying to see the kids without permission but the vehicle he was supposed to be in was repossessed much earlier in Sept so it was again a lie so he only has to take the paper work to court easy to prove but she will just keep it up it is one of thousands of things she has tried when he was given custody because the mom was on drugs!