I only have ideas on how to live, and I most certinaly CAN love and understand and be here for you!

im sorry u feel so bad hun xxxx

no man is worth this hun x

you know how it hurts when you lose someone or someone close to you dies, so don't put anyone through that too ok? You do matter to this world. It can get better, I promise. Alot of people go through the same thing feeling like they'll never survive without someone they want to be with, but you can't get past it, and people do. It takes time. I remember a couple times in my life believing I was in love and losing that person and feeling like I was gonna die and never get over it but I did and here I am. You grow, you change, you live and learn and be better and stronger for it. I'm sorry you feel so hopeless. You're not alone there my friend. I've been suicidal, Iv'e tried to kill myself a few times. I know that darkness and lonliness and hopelessness. Like nobody understands, nobody is there, nobody cares, I can't go on, it'll never get better. It does and can ok? hang on. big hugs

Big Hugzz RockNMetal and cuddles and snuggles too.
yu can lead a horse to water but yu CAN'T make him drink.

:( - death is so much easier- one day he will feel the same- and then i'll be gone- that bridge is just closing in- my life in general is just miserable - yes i have some great friends- but other than that- i'm worthless.......

I was reading over your journal and saw where you started to feel hopeful talking about taking some early childhood classes and eventually having your own daycare and you were working it out with him, but now you're so sad. And because of him right? don't base your happiness on another person. Never. Because when they aren't there, you fall apart. YOu have to be able to stand on your own two feet. have a foundation of strength within yourself, love yourself, be there for yourself. If he doesn't love you or isn't there, that doesn't mean you're unlovable or unworthy. best wishes to you, hugs

I understand you are going through a hard time, but Brandi you are my best friend and I love you. WE will get through this. I will NEVER leave you. I care a lot about you. You are an important part of my life and always will be. You hold a special place in my heart.

this world is cold and cruel for me- i'm not like everyone else- good things never happen to me- i am always condemned because of my age- i'm too young and my hair color- i'm not blonde- if i was older and blonde = then what would i be crucified for?- so why live...

live for you...for who you are, not who you think you should be.. there is NOTHING at all better in being older or blond, anyone who tells you that is wrong, anyone who cares about you for real will be honest with you and be there for you no matter how old you are... your whole life is ahead of you, great things are ahead of you.

honey..listen to what rainyangel is telling you hon. You will get over him. I promise you that. I was once in your shoes and my heart ached for a man that was not there. I found my husband that I have now and I was blessed with him. 13 years later and that other man is but a bad memory. It gets better...it really does.

i don't want my life to be ahead of me- i just want it all to end- emotional pain is way worse than anything physical and nobody will ever convince me otherwise.....

i am just venting Knew... i'm hurting and i need to let it out someway- writing is my form of therapy for myself- but it really hurt to hear that i ruined his life and everything is my fault- god is just punishing me for my actions...... and somehow i'll deal with it... but right now- i just don't know how....

You are right emotional pain can be far worse than physical.
And I don't know your entire story but take some advise from a middle aged lady
NO MAN is worth dying for!
I've looked at your profile and you are a VERY attractive and one day you will find the perfect man for you.
Trust me on this I've been hurt before and never thought I'd find a good man either but I did. You will too!!
Guess what I'm NOT BLOND :)))

My dear sweet friend. I have read your journals yesterday and commented on them and everything seemed so good. How can things change so fast? You know, good things never happened for me until I got older. Or maybe I just didnt realize the good things. I was healthy loving caring but it seemed I could never hold onto a guy. I had plenty of boyfriends but it seemed like as soon as I showed them how much they meant to me they would leave me wounded and very hurt. I grew up and learned alot of things and now I have someone who understands me and loves me (I hope). It will happen for you also. I know you are sad right now and you think you will never get over this but believe me you will. It will take some time but it will happen. I promise, time heals all. Im here if you want to talk sweetie..