my adult son is, i have now learnt not to feed it, not to go along with his tall tales and to cut him short and tell him i heard enough, so for eg: when he starts a spiel why he couldn't come, i don't let him tell the lie, i say, 'don't want to hear why, too bad you couldn't come, maybe next time'..........he tries to keep the 'thrill' going, but i cut him off everytime.............doesn't do my head in any more and doesn't feed it either.

I had a tenant a few years ago, who seemed a perfectly ok person at first, BUT I started to realise that he just simply did not know what the truth was. This first occurred when he took some peanut butter from the jar of another tenant (!), and when the other tenant approached him to say please could he buy his own, he swore blind that it was not him, it must have been me! He was so convincing it was thought it was me for a while. Over 8 months, he lied about everything, about his work as a lawyer (it turned out he had never been a lawyer), his stealing, what he had done/was doing, tall stories indeed! .... it took a while to realise he was soo convincing because he did actually believe was he said. I eventually was driven crazy as he also lived in a massive mess and I couldnt tolerate the thieving any longer. I had to evict him by threatening him with the police (I realised by now he worked in illegal areas)....I googled conman after googling Personality Disorders (didnt have that!)...and came across the Psychopathic personality, which he ticked ALL the boxes for, except violence. I never felt threatened by him. This apparently means something actually is missing, the conscience area - obviously not often as bad as the typical psychopath, there are many ways along this path that someway may fall into. He was like a child with something missing in many ways as he was so naive and so honestly believed his own lies. I just am so glad he has gone, but what to do with this type of person if he is in your family? *sigh*....the best of luck to all of you...Cathrynn...x

I have often wondered this question myself.
I know a three people who do this. It is very irritating to me and I don't understand it. Those people not only lie , but have caused problems for themselves and others around them with their manipulive ways. Unfortuanatly one of them is my own daughter and I can't stay away from her.

Thanks to all for your replies. My son is the problem. It breaks my heart. I've know he lied 'alot' for a long time, but it wasn't until he moved out here with us for a while that I realized it was so bad and is really affecting every inch of his life. I wish I could help him, but I know I can't.
Anyway, thanks again.
~dixie

That's so difficult to say. On one hand I don't want to believe that there's nothing I could do if I had a friend or family member that lied like that. But, on the other hand, if it was myself with the problem I think I'd at least like someone to try. I really hope that you're ablt to help him out. *hugs*

Dixie, and everyone who's had to deal with this---I'm sorry.

The times I have have tried to help someone with a condition like this, all it earned me was their undying enmity, and landed me deeper in it. More nasty lies, more character-bashing.

You have to give these people space, lots of room. I don't believe there's any way of getting them to repent of this.

I am not going to find any sympathy here but here it goes.

I am a pathological liar from the South. It has taken years for my friends and family to get me to realize that what I say is almost never true. This is one of the hardest things I have ever written because I can't lie on this or my friend....well it's complicated. I got so bad that I had everyone convinced in my life about certain things. For example, I was able to convince my robotics team that I have no feeling in my hands and that I pay for everything I own and that I have everything under control and that I am some superintellect that can do anything and knows all. I have a really high pain threshold, so when they pinch my hand I can pretend I didn't feel it. But the truth is I was so caught up in my lie that for a good 2 years I believed I couldn't feel my hands and would do reckless things because of it. I have deceived everyone in my life by making them think I am a polyglot when in reality I only speak 3 languages, not 6. I don't know how to stop and I never had an abusive childhood. I am a triplet, so I didn't get a lot of attention when I was younger but that's really it. I don't know if my ODD is helping cause this or if it is my desire to be liked. I'm probably not going to get a lot of help from y'all as I can see y'all have had a lot of trouble with people like me and we do make our family and friends' lives living hell. I just need help.

I am not going to find any sympathy here but here it goes.

I am a pathological liar from the South. It has taken years for my friends and family to get me to realize that what I say is almost never true. This is one of the hardest things I have ever written because I can't lie on this or my friend....well it's complicated. I got so bad that I had everyone convinced in my life about certain things. For example, I was able to convince my robotics team that I have no feeling in my hands and that I pay for everything I own and that I have everything under control and that I am some superintellect that can do anything and knows all. I have a really high pain threshold, so when they pinch my hand I can pretend I didn't feel it. But the truth is I was so caught up in my lie that for a good 2 years I believed I couldn't feel my hands and would do reckless things because of it. I have deceived everyone in my life by making them think I am a polyglot when in reality I only speak 3 languages, not 6. I don't know how to stop and I never had an abusive childhood. I am a triplet, so I didn't get a lot of attention when I was younger but that's really it. I don't know if my ODD is helping cause this or if it is my desire to be liked. I'm probably not going to get a lot of help from y'all as I can see y'all have had a lot of trouble with people like me and we do make our family and friends' lives living hell. I just need help.

I want to commend you (Rosielocks) for posting here. Given the long time you have spent living like this, I suspect that you will need some good professional help to turn things around.

You have made the very important first step, admitting you nee help. But now please do the critical second step and seek that help.

Peer support, like what you can find here, is great, but it is not sufficient.

Please post again, let us know how your search for a good therapist is going!

Gentle hugs