Depression Support Group

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Partner against meds, but think I need 'em

blueraincoat123
blueraincoat123

I don't know what to do and would love your thoughts. I have been severely depressed for a while. Not to the point that I would do anything about it, it's just that low, motivationless feeling. I'm also going through a big family change, overcoming an eating disorder for which I am in treatment, and I also struggle with the usual, other suspects: anxiety and O.C.D. My doctor wants to put me back on Wellbutrin and an S.S.R.I. When I told my girlfriend of 2 years this, because I guess I figured I should be honest with her about what I do with my lifestyle, she, to my surprise, didn't take it well. She told me that she worried I'd been on too many psychotropic drugs in my life (I have been on a handful of anti-depressents since I was a teen, mostly because I was treated inpatient a few times) and she worries it will in the long-term affect my health. I thought about just taking them anyway and not telling her, but I decided that would be wrong. Way wrong and I just want to be honest with her but I am struggling a lot with my mental health. I also worry she'll leave me if she sees the pathetic person I am, which is someone who can't be normal without a cocktail of drugs. I will be normal, I hope... but for now they are suggesting I take them.  I have listened to her about several things regarding my recovery. She thought I should work less, so I did. I thought she was right, perhaps about this, so I could focus on my treatment. She thought I should see less of my crazy boundariless friends (definitely right). But, this I don;t know about. Thoughts?


Just writing this I feel a little down on myself. Wish I were someone else!

TooMuch
TooMuch
I hate that she is making you feel like that about yourself. I think she is way off base and needs to be educated about mental disorders. I have no resources to share, but perhaps you could find some good information online about brain chemistry and how SSRI's work. Ultimately it is between you and your doctors and she is out of line in commenting on it.
blueraincoat123
blueraincoat123
Dear TooMuch, Thank you for your thoughts. Your suggestion to find information about brain chemistry and SSRIs is a good one. It could really be as simple as a lack of education about mental health on her end. I know she wants the best for me, she just thinks the best is that I don't take the meds. It is between me and my doctor, that's true. But how much do you include in what you share with your gf? I don't want to hide anything either. I don't know. Thank you so much!!!!
bluemoon29
bluemoon29
she's not a doctor. listen to your healthcare professionals. if you had diabetes, would she get to have an opinion? it's your body. it's your health. take your meds with or without her opinion.
dinahmorris
dinahmorris
Hello-sorry this is all going on for you. Maybe you could take your partner along to the doc next time. They will fill her in on the why, what and when etc of meds-She clearly wants the best for you-but pulling against you and your doc right now probably isnt it. Hope things improve soon. X
dinahmorris
dinahmorris
PS maybe she is putting her opinions and feelings ahead of what is best for you. Her view of the world is one thing, but shldnt be overruling yours.
blueraincoat123
blueraincoat123
Thank you, bluemoon and dinahmorris. Bluemoon, she's not a doctor, you are right. It's so interesting you use the diabetes connection because recently someone else compared my eating disorder management to that and it really struck me as accurate. It's just something I have to manage. I think sometimes people see mental health things in functioning people as more optional, or something... There is a lso the fact that, as dinahmorris pointed out, she has her own feelings about this....so it's possible those are in the way.

Thanks so much for your replies. They've really helped me validate what I was feeling before.
bluemoon29
bluemoon29
best of luck to you! (hugs)
sonnycamehome
sonnycamehome
Ultimately the decision is yours, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with needing a cocktail of meds to feel normal. Psychological disorders are medical problems like any other health problem and often require medication for optimal quality of life.

I like the idea that was mentioned of bringing your partner with you to a Dr's appt so the Dr can explain and provide her with some education about the safety and efficacy of SSRI's. Often the people in our lives just don't understand how mental health truly affects us and how meds can help.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Why does it matter what your gf or anyone else thinks? If your doctor thinks you need them then take them! If others cannot except you the way you are then that is their problem, not yours!

God Bless
randomusername
randomusername
Hi there. First of all congratulations on overcoming an eating disorder. You should be very proud of yourself! As for the medication part of things, I'm not a nurse but I was in nursing school and studied pharmacology for a while. I am by no means a professional medical person but from what I have experienced and learned, Depression is recognized as a medical condition that can be helped from taking medications. I would suggest talking to your girlfriend about it from that point of view. You are NOT "weak" for wanting to take medications. It's ok to even take them for a while and if things change or get better, you can ease off of them. Maybe the two of you could also sit down and talk with a counselor / doctor about it. Just my thoughts. Either way good luck and hang in there!
blueraincoat123
blueraincoat123
Thank you so much!!! I feel like the responses here are unanimously in favor of me taking the meds. I really appreciate that. I will take her into the doctor.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
I have used the diabetes analogy for a long time. Yes, not all diabetics need to take insulin, many can manage their life via diet control. But there are some forms of diabetes that REQUIRE insulin; no ifs ands or buts! Likewise for depression. Some forms of depression can be managed without medication others can not.

I would suggest a change of wording when you talk to her. Let her know that you are not seeking her permission, but you are keeping her in the loop. 2 years is a good time to get to know a person, but in the timeline of depression, 2 years is very short. Unless she has seen you at your depresed worst, then she is in no position to think that she has an informed opinion.
blueraincoat123
blueraincoat123
ThePepperMan, "Let her know that you are not seeking her permission, but you are keeping her in the loop." I really needed to hear this, thank you. I have trouble knowing what's my issue what's someone else's. Just so hard on myself. And you're right, as I'm in my thirties and have suffered from depression longer than half my life, two years isn't that long.
hannahp
hannahp
Keep going on your road to recovery! I know sometimes medications can become a crutch or have worse side effects than before, so talk with your doctor about other options if there are any. If there are not, I am sure your girlfriend does not want you to be depressed. You are doing great overcoming struggles already! Praying for you.
blueraincoat123
blueraincoat123
Thanks hannahp. The standard treatment seems so drug related. ! I've been off meds a while but have been seeing how they help others. I will check about side effects. -!: thank you also for your prayers!!
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