Depression Support Group
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My parents created wills for their estate that cut very badly. 90% in effect to my sister in Colorado and the rest to her son, my daughter and me. Net result is that I have lost my sister and do not deal with her at all. Extreme hatred of my parents as well.
How many others are depressed over such a dreadful event?
How many others are depressed over such a dreadful event?
I don't want to sound harsh, but was there a reason for this......did you fall out with them?
When my mother died I was more upset about losing her......money didn't come into it.
My ex-wife was a drug addict, wrecked my life though through divorce I am a custodial father and saved the life of my then 3 year old daughter. Divorce cost: $ 20000 and the sale of a home in Wyckoff NJ that was worth many times more than that. I lived for 2 years with my parents, in a barn myself for personal space, during this time.
That drug induced hell cost me real time at my father's business, which collapsed in about 1989 so one career tossed out the window.
My parents were convinved the divorce cost me only $3000. There was a ton of alimony and related expenses too.
My grandmother's inheritance went to my lawyer.
My career had to start all over again.
My daughter's college was thus entirely self-financed. Indeed, my scum sister made a contribution to it with a small, faded flag that was signed by Amelia Earhart - it was auctioned for $900. So much for her contribuition.
My father spent his entire estate down to far less than it originally was. He was chairman of the family business and when he retired, he kept spending.
Today I am continually under financial stress and am giving up an indepedent career in computer consulting and returning to corporate IT, I hope. If you read my journals, it was taken a horrible toll on me.
My sister got all of their furniture, all of his artwork, most of the money, and friends took a great deal more.
I have, in my possession:
a bookcase built by my grandfather
a table built by my grandfather
some nick-nacks.
and alot of blackened memories.
hey, good thing im poor, my mom hates me and has nothing to will to me anyway huh....lol i feel so lucky now.
I can tell you that I have nine living children but all our assests, 40 acres and a house, will go to our youngest daughter and nothing to the rest of the kids for the simple reason she is the only one who has chosen to make her life up here where we are. She is the only one who has helped care for her dying father and she is the only one who loves this land like we do.
The other kids have their jobs, and their lives and they are happy where they are.
Very often when parents give to just one child it is because there are problems with the others and they feel the one they are giving too is the best one to handle what they have spent a life time earning and in the end it is their money, their property and their efforts of a life time we're talking about so the decision of where it should go is also theirs.
She could have, of course, corrected their decisions independent of the will by cutting separate checks at a later date. She had the power to make it right. She admitted, once, that she was an idiot to not do so. That was when we were speaking for 5 minutes or so. Before the yelling started in again.
She saw her chance to screw her brother and went for it. Kept everything, gave me nothing and to this day has only sent me a collection of family pictures (that is all, she even still has some childhood stuff and all of the 8mm home movies).
So, please tell me where this is fair?
Oh, she is married three times and had a child by a fourth father too.
50/50
The only way to do it.
All they achieved was to leave behind bitter memories on one side of their surviving children, anger and angst.
I hope they are content with their "results" and decisions.
I did take it to a lawyer in 1999, and he was perfect. He read it, and said " They fucked ya. What else do you need to know." Case closed.
I am a "veteran" of a sort, part of a small minority of Americans which I call "Them what was there on THAT DAY."
101st floor
South Tower
World Trade Center.
Given what you said I have a feeling your parents decision may have hinged on a couple of things. First that she was there taking care of them and second and the one I lean toward most is that they did not think she had the skills to take care of herself that you do and it was their way of protecting her once they were gone.
I'm guessing they thought you had the education, intelligence and skills to manage your life but that she doesn't and from what you've said that seems true too.
It isn't fair but then very little in life is and how parents see their children is often a mystery to those around them. I've seen this with friends and family both where one or two kids are favored way above others and it does cause many problems between the siblings after they are gone.
what really pisses me off is i gave my nan a dog called rusty she said she would give her me if she passed away and in her will she has left her for my mums sister wtf she hasnt died but i dont think thats fair how she did that..but their nthing i can do really
im so sory it happened you hun its nt fair but sometimes money makes people greedy i hope your sister realises that she needs you more than the mney and everything because your her brother
Hugs.
sorry to blalb n l0l