While surfing the web, I notice that IHOP had a all you can eat pancake special. I called them and got an exact price for it. I managed to find enough change for it plus tip. After I place my order, a couple nearby received their order. The wife just complained about everything, the bacon was too limp or the eggs weren't fluffy enough, while her husband just ate, asking only for ketchup. My order came, with extra butter without me asking, and I poured blueberry syrup ( I love the actual blueberry pancakes, so I didn't mind the artificiality) on it. As I was eating, I realized I had tears in my eyes. I don't know if they were tears of sadness because this was one of the few pleasures I had in a while or tears of happiness, which is an emotion basically alien to me no, because of the pancakes. I looked around to make sure no one noticed and wiped my eyes. I ended up ordering 3 additional plates, for about 11 pancakes. I finished my last plate, paid, left a nice tip and drove home. I got into my sweats, made and drank some chamomile tea and climbed into bed as the food "coma" caught with me. I just woke up and I'm trying to keep the pleasurable feeling going as along as I can since I know it will be a very long time until I feel anything close to it. Why can't I feel like this everyday without the pancakes? Why can't I feel like everyone else, everyone normal?