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Ouch! That Wasn't Nice!

GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727

I was texting with my best friend this morning.  She struggles with addiction to food and alcohol.  She was in AA but that was many years ago.  I really can't give her advice because one time we were texting about my weight loss journey and I innocently said "you really have to want it" and she said F.U. five times.  So when she talks about how fat she is and how she needs to go back on her diet, I don't respond.  This morning, she said she really needs to go back on her diet.  I said that I love Keto and that I have so much more energy.  She said "I don't really want to talk about how great you are doing" and I said "sorry" and she said F.U.  She is so immature.  I feel bad when she is with her boyfriend because I can't text her when he's there or he'll get mad but I don't take that out on her.  She isn't on the same page with me when it comes down to addressing psychological problems.  She won't apologize.  I should have told her that she can't talk to me that way.  I certainly didn't deserve it.  I said nothing.

billwfriend
billwfriend
damn...the cyclone of an alcoholic just twisting thru others lives...
SunkenShips
SunkenShips
You don't need a friend who treats you badly and makes you feel worse. These friendships can be draining and stop you from growing. It's important to be around people who support you and make you feel good about yourself.

Be kind to yourself and have a great Friday!
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Thanks bill. My goal was to suggest Keto.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I doubt she will start doing Keto. I know you are just trying to be helpful, but sounds like she has a lot of problems she needs to work through. Only she can do this. We can't make other people change, unfortunately.

She sounds very abusive toward you. Take care of YOU first. You don't have to take her talking to you in that mean way. Maybe give this a little space.
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
Really I dealt with addiction through my mom and last job. Their can’t really make good or supportive friends when dealing with it. You may want to have space from that friend as I don’t see this healthy for yourself.
Bobby5000
Bobby5000
You can say I'm sorry things are challenging for you but you cannot treat me that way
TimothyRRC
TimothyRRC
Wise advice for her is for you to inform her that she NEEDS to be KIND to herself, kind to self people care for self, right now and obviously for a long time she has been unkind to herself, unkindness to self is born from other/s being unkind to, the message received is that it's appropriate to be unkind to self, but it isn't, it is wrong and results only in suffering/sadness. The best way for you personally deal with her is ONLY respectfully, you show her the appropriate way. You are a good friend, become a great one.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Thanks everyone! I have broken off our friendship twice in the past and almost did a third time last July. I've known her for almost 32 years. Her immature, jealous behavior has gotten her in trouble with others. She had a therapist a few years ago but she refused to listen to her advice. She used to have rules about drinking but they all fell to the wayside. I haven't contacted her. She is probably with her bf. Haven't heard from her. Girl, she was dabbling in Keto before. Tim, you are right. Her mother treated her badly as a child. She is very self-destructive. But I have been a great friend to her.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Serenity, we still haven't texted or talked on the phone. I'm thinking maybe she thinks it best for her mentally to stay away from me, due to her jealousy. What a shame.
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