Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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ThatOne 02/23/2018

So the memory I have been most recently reminiscing about is of a guy that I had a crush on for 10 years or so. I never talked to him though. When I was a teenager and it was high season for my crush hormones, my "friends" hated on him a lot and also on me for having a crush on him. So I regretted how I behaved back then and for feeling ashamed for just thinking that this guy could be a cool guy. So I saw him again two years ago in summer and I accidentally in front of his gf and family said something along the lines of that it's always special when he is there. After that he was suddenly really wanting to talk to me but he was also being rude and especially rude to his mom so I freaked out and I started talking in english as that's the language I usually think in and I started holding my head with both hands and shaking because I knew I needed to ignore him but also there was so many leftover feelings I wanted to express. So after mentioning the ex gf he was dating back then and saying some other really awkward stuff I ignored him. (I just want to shoot myself in the head for even talking to him at all in that moment. It was so wrong.)

So yeah. I guess I'm feeling guilty because I had an uncontrolled breakout of feelings. It's not like me. I've decided for myself that I never want to see him again. I'm deeply hurt by how he kept pushing when I knew I couldn't open up anymore without ruining our very superficial relationship. I was very uncomfortable. It's hard to know what was going on in his head but I just don't ever want to feel that way again. After I got more or less over him I swore that I would never date him because it's unnatural how much it hurt to get over him. Back then of course I was in a horrible situation so I used to dream about him and for me he was just one good thing I could believe in. I know that a lot of this isn't up to him at all and he's probably not even that bad but I just can't. He lives in a different country anyway so it's easy not to see him. Every time I go back to where I grew up I am in such a vulnerable state. I shouldn't see him. I just want to bury the past and him with that. It's sad that he managed to make me angry before I buried him. I wanted this to be different. Well. This is not the point where everything should have gone differently. That point starts with my parents conceiving me. But this one, I also cared about.

euniceps 02/23/2018

Him being in a different country can certainly help bury the past. Try not to beat yourself up....move forward with positive thoughts about how you want your future to be. “For all things I have the strength through the one who gives me power.” Philippians 4:13

fauxartist 02/23/2018

Sometimes when we can't really deal with hurt or pain, or rejection, we develop crushes , and quietly suffer as we see them living life. But we know we don't want to get hurt or rejected so we live in our own fantasy about what life would be like with this love interest we have developed in our own safe world. Then when we actually have an opportunity to see what this person is like in reality, they may not be all we thought they were. The key point to me that you said was that he did not treat his family very nice, that's red flags as to what this person is probably really like, not so nice. So your right to leave him where he is and move on. There will be a day possibly where you will feel safe enough and okay enough to express your real thoughts and emotions with someone who understands you and is kind with you. One door closes and another one opens, just walk through it when it feels right for you.

whatswrong19 02/23/2018

I feel you. I can't handle the drama in my own head when it comes to dating, the possibility of being rejected, I mean that is always a part of it, so I just don't even think about dating or having crushes on anyone, cause I've never had anything that lasted long enough, and have it be good enough to do all that work and self damage. i like to go out and party, but getting to know someone and developing attachments to them, it's too painful

sunnyface 02/23/2018

I’m sorry you are feeling challenged at the moment. Relationships can be overwhelming at times. Taking a step back and meditating on whether this person is right for you can be helpful. I think our significant other should be an asset. We should build each other up with encouragement and positive support. If your partner brings out emotions that you aren’t comfortable with, then maybe it is best to be just friends and if that is too difficult, then removing yourself from the situation may be the best option. Life it tough and having someone in your life that lifts your spirit is truly a blessing. Wishing you the best!!

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