Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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No way out

Anna1212
Anna1212

I am getting more and more disturbed.  It doesn't end.  It's getting worse.  I don't know why i post here.  there is no point.  i can't sleep anymore.  i feel constantly ill.  there's no peace for me in this world.  there just isn't.  it's only words on the screen.  no one can really know how another feels.  the tearing in the gut, the horrible adreniline that is constantly coursing and no place to go, laying in a bed of bad dreams all night and waking up in suicidal depression every morning, the constant longing for love that I can never find, for the justice that is just not attainable.  sleep won't come tonight.  maybe at 2 am for a short time before i wake up hot and with a terrible headache and twisted guts gasping for air.  this sounds dramatic maybe but it's real.  and it's ongoing.  i think about killing myself almost constantly to excape the torment but i don't have the guts.  life is a trick.  no one can ever figure it out and no one gets out alive.  

Rees
Rees
I agree that I can't possibly know how you feel as much as I may try to understand. I also know that you have had much better days and we can benefit by sharing our feelings and supporting each other. We are here at this time for a reason. Please know I am listening and sending you all good thoughts of some calm and rest. Hugs, Rees
doggy123
doggy123
I know how you feel. do you exercise? ppl keep telling me too, I guess I'm just too lazy or depressed to, anymore, though I used to. I'm sure it would help though, w/sleep and the anxiety.
sonnycamehome
sonnycamehome
Anna, it sounds like it may be time to consider inpatient treatment.

I know it's a big step but sometimes the sharp break from your daily life, the time away from your responsibilities, the intensive treatment, time spent with people who can identify with your struggles, and access to doctors who can adjust/prescribe new medications can really be a turning point.

Having therapists, doctors, group therapy and even other patients available to you 24/7 for a period of time is often very beneficial - it can also be very restorative as you don't have to worry about things like cooking, cleaning, work, family, etc...and you can just focus on yourself and feeling better.

Wishing you peace.
mattiemae52
mattiemae52
Anna, I agree inpatient might be the next step. My dr told me if it got really bad to go to the ER. If I hadn’t had a job to worry about I may have gone. Dealing with all this is such a nightmare.
Prycejosh1987
Prycejosh1987
Try coming to faith in Jesus and praying to him.
tiredgirl25
tiredgirl25
Anna, Im so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. When you are sleep deprived, especially for long periods of time, the world can seem like a dark and hopeless place. Your body learns to be afraid of falling asleep which is what leads to that restless, adrenaline filled kind of nights. Ive been there and it is awful. By writing on here and reaching out you are doing a GOOD thing. There are ways of getting help and getting the pain to lessen and/or stop. I think others’ suggestions of inpatient treatment or contacting a counselor at least is the right step for you. Keep going, dont give up. Keep us posted.
Anna1212
Anna1212
Thank you all for understanding. I think sometimes i am at and in patient point also like during this time but i am the only who is there for my elderly cat and he is on multiple meds and stuff. there is no one else to care for him. i won't leave him. i'm feeling better now after having some rest and getting all the support here. thank you for reaching out to me. it means a real lot. exercise and contacting my therapist are good ideas.