Hi WTBAM. I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. You have so much on your plate that it's no wonder that you feel overwhelmed! Obviously, the priority is the fertility treatment, so that's what you have to focus on - everything else can wait! I worked in that area for a while and Ive had some friends go through it with great success, so be positive about it. I know it's extremely hard not to, but don't focus on the possibility of any negative outcomes but, instead, look forward to the joy you're going to have in being a mom! You're going to be a mom!!

As for your husband, try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Many men in his situation want desperately to support their partners, but just don't know how to. It would really help him to help you if you just said what you needed at the time, i.e., "I need you to tell me that everything is going to be ok. I need a hug. I need...." Please don't rely on him to 'read your mind' or 'figure it out' - really, we're not that clever!

Above all, know that you are NOT a failure. You've made it this far because you're strong, so you'll make it through your fertility treatment; you'll make it through your wonderful pregnancy, and you'll be an absolutely amazing mom!!

Your story is a rewind of my life by 30 years, My wife who later became bi-polar was infertile due to endometriosis. She blamed here infertility for making her mentally ill. In retrospect I may not have been as supportive a husband given the material instinct women have. Not sure where you are at in your relationship but is it time to suggest adoption as an option? It almost became feasible for us but hen my wife had a more significant episode and it seemed best to acknowledge that we were unlikely to be able to provide a stable environment for a child. I hope you husband does not think you are "being stupid' as you have speculated.

I don't think someone who wants to be a mother so badly would fail at it. It seems like something you desire very much and it seems like you're ready to take on the responsibility. Don't be mistaken - it's a HUGE responsibility. But many, many people do it and if you're already concerned about being a great mom, chances are, you're going to be a great mom. It sounds like you're already a mom - you just need the child. Focus on the idea that you WILL get pregnant. Trust me, all you need to do is have a look around this message board to see that there are a lot of parents who have already fallen short of everything you strive to be once you're a mother. You're going to be fine.

As for your husband, just try to remember that this is probably stressful on him, too. You're in this together, and I agree with TotalRegret - sometimes you need to ask directly for what you want. Tell him it would help you so much to have his support and that you want to make this baby with love and passion. And many of us here are willing to fill in the holes where he can't give you everything you need right now. I haven't been here for too long but it seems like people here genuinely find strength in sharing their hardships and want to support people where they can. Reaching out is a good thing. Keep it up. ^_^

Hi Just some questions: Do you think that you're clinically depressed? Is this separate from the infertility? If so, are you getting any treatment?
I am only asking because sometimes, the depression can become something unto itself. Wishing you luck with the infertility problems. I went through it many years ago and it's a lonely road. My husband always says "Calm down, now". I did get pregnant and I felt much better even in terms of the depression. And, not to sound sexist, but I do think that some men (and some women) do not know what to say or do when responding to emotions.
I agree with many above; tell him what he can do to help (hold you? plan a date night, help more around the house?) Blessings.

If he is acting 'flakey' now ... how will be be as a Father? I would think twice before pregnancy ... and maybe instead do some serious marriage counseling. A mother with no support from the father has a long hard road. This is an early sign of big trouble.