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Negative core beliefs

Kikio
Kikio

I keep defaulting to my same old negative core beliefs.


I'm boring.


I'm weird.


I'm stupid.


No one one actually likes me.


And the biggest ones....


I'm worthless.


I don't matter.  



How am I supposed to challenge these beliefs when they are so engrained in my soul?


Reinforced by multiple people through out my life (past and present) 


I'll give examples.


Thought: im boring.


I can tell myself "I'm not boring" but then someone asks "what's new and exciting?"


I don't have any answer because all I did all week was go to work, and clean my house. Nothing new, and certainly not exciting.


Thought: I don't matter.


I approach someone, telling them that Im struggling and need help.


They cut me off mid sentence to say. "Hold on I want to talk to -so in so-" and don't come back.


I could list examples all night long.


I think trying to overcome my social anxiety is making my depression worse as I keep failing miserablely at it.


I really do feel like just giving up entirely on it. (But keeping on my meds cause they keep me from doing anything too stupid) idk ill bring it up at therapy tomorrow.


Maybe i'm just a lost cause.

GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I think telling your therapist how you feel, and ask them for a plan to work on, would be very helpful.

Glad you have a therapist and are on meds. You are going to be okay!! These things aren't easy and can't be fixed overnight. It's a daily struggle, I know. I've had anxiety coming up on 30 years of daily anxiety and it sure ain't easy!

Hang in there. You will get better.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Kikio, I'm sorry about these unfortunate incidents. I've had them happen myself. One year I got forgotten on my birthday at work but they had a cake for another girl whose birthday was the next day. I had a boyfriend who used to say "Remember Brenda, you're not important". How untrue! I am God's child and so are you so we are important and well deserving of all good things in life. Don't give up, ever! You have to put in some effort and you have to understand people. I am a friendly person but at work, I would rather be alone and on my cell phone or doing my job. So I probably come off snobbish to my co-workers. I am trying to be friendlier. Good luck with your therapist.
StuckInThe90s
StuckInThe90s
I want you to know you're not alone with struggling with negative core beliefs. I'm not only dealing with the old ones, but I have developed a bunch of new negative thoughts that could be cores. It sucks when you feel so beat down by your own thoughts. One trick I use to get through them is break down the thought to it's roots; basically the who, what, where, when, why, and hows of the thought. You'd be surprised what you find. Also, sometimes, not always, telling yourself that while the thought feels truthful it isn't can help. Sometimes it helps me to remind myself that it's a thought, but sometimes it doesn't work.

I hope your therapy goes very well. I know things might feel low and maybe dark but you got this. I tell myself that a lot lately, Even if that one sentence gives you enough motivation to just do a hobby, or twiddle your thumbs for hours, it's better than letting your mind make the decision.
lighttheway
lighttheway
Look into cbt. I did this in therapy and it gave me some tools to challenge irrational thoughts what we think affects how we feel
You change the irrational thought to something somewhat believable or it doesn’t work Ex. Thought is I am unlikable. I could change it to
I am likable but that’s not entirely believable for me personally. But a believable thougt that is rational is that some people will like me and some people will not and that is true of every single person on earth this is a rational thought that could make me feel better
Maybe it might help and it works better to do in therapy
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug sweetie

I'm sorry that you're hurting

I was going to mention cbt as well
It's helped a lot of people

My old GP swears by mindfullness as well

I
Kikio
Kikio
Therapy went really well today. I was able to talk to my therapist about all this and she was a huge help.

I think CBT is a part of it with other things mixed in .
hasty_05
hasty_05
Kikio, so glad you opened up and told the therapist. I found CBT to be life changed. The only caveat is we have to practice this daily. And I mean every hour we are awake. Mindfulness is also fabulous. We can only change if we decide to change and work the program or practice. My current mantra is "I'll think I'll just be happy today" and I got this tiny plaque that says that. I am dealing with a lot that makes me unhappy and this reminds me that I can control my mind. I might start out thinking I am unhappy but I can change that around to finding something good in the day. Hugs to you, so happy you took charge of your healing by telling your therapist. The therapist is happy you told her also. Allows her to really help you instead of being just a bunch of talk that doesn't matter. You rock, Kiki!
Prycejosh1987
Prycejosh1987
These are things i have been told by others at times. But it doesnt effect me, to survive in this life we need thick skin, we also need to confine in prayer, and also Jesus. You have worth and can achieve major goals in life but you must pray to God daily and believe in yourself.
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