She may be experiencing,
a bully situation!! and afraid to share.

She has shared bullying in the past,she is starting a new school and will be reconnecting with old friends,she has already been in contact with one friend and I arranged for them to be in lunch together.

Yeah ! I see , 13 is a very fragile age tween Adult and different individuals deal with the inner man differently.
Sometimes Friends are not always what's best for a situation like this, you are what's best for this at this point,
Cause the least of who you think is a friend.
may be the very one that's triggering these outbursts, and your 13 year old may be feeling a sense of guilt , in many ways.
Try to stick with your 13 yr old daily, seek out family activities, field trips, window shopping ,Library, music, exercise, some ideas to help ease the anxiety.

Some school will allow parents to sit in classrooms maybe you can volunteer in her school

Stay in contact with her teachers. We did that with our children up through middle school, and it really helped. It can be hard to do that in high school, but it is possible.

I so understand where you are coming from. My daughter began self-harming when she was 13 after finding out her father had had an affair with a woman who was one of her youth group leaders. She also became very depressed. I was completely undone by it. I had never heard of cutting before and I had to go straight to a counselor myself to begin to understand how to support her and help her let it go. I eventually talked her into going a few times herself which seemed to help her learn coping skills. I don't have great advice on how to handle the school issue except to tell you that I am an elementary school teacher and I just had one of my students come back to school after a bout of cutting and talking about suicide. I have great compassion for the child since I've experienced this myself. I will tell you that my daughter is now 27 and seems to be doing well. My hope is that one day she'll turn around be able to help others because of her experience. Hang in there mom. You are not alone in the struggle.

You probably won't want my advice but here it is anyway.

Why can't she be homeschooled? So what if she self isolates?

Are you available to homeschool? Are you able to do it? Or not.

If you can, I would. If you can't, I wouldn't. You don't have to listen to experts telling you not to let her isolate. They don't know everything; anything they do say is just another opinion - sometimes right, sometimes wrong. What does your mother's heart tell you? Your mother's heart can veto any expert.

What do they say about experts? "X: the unknown quantity. Spurt: a drip under pressure."

Do what you can with what you've got. That way you have no reason to blame yourself should things go pear shaped. If she doesn't have to go back to school then why inflict that torture on her?

School has only existed for the masses for maybe 100 yrs. It's a fad, a passing phase. Do what your gut wants you to do.

I agree w bridgie "The experts" do not get my respect for being "experts". Most of them are parotting. I've had my "experts" tell me it was better for me to keep working, when I was crazy emotional from side effects of prednisone, and also suffering fecal incontinence due to unmanaged Ulcerative Colitis. I, as an adult was also being bullied by a few 20 somethings and a couple old lady teachers, because despite my handicaps, I still managed to do better for the kids in a severely handicapped class, than they did. This was the job I took after leaving career due to illness. They also didn't like that I was hired on my own merrit, and not one of their personal friends or family. These so called "experts" were oblivious to my issues, no matter how many times I explained. They are overpaid and over glorified, in my opinion. They lack personal empathy and humanity, relying mostly on their memorized book knowledge. Their opinions should be taken w a grain of salt. That being said, did these "experts" offer any DBT, or therapy?? I feel I may have answered this somewhere before. I think she needs support and some sort of therapy on dealng with things.
I don't know that th

ps. that doesn't mean, I don't think at 13 she shouldn't be able to handle public school and what goes with it. But then luckily I havn't been in school for many years! I had friends who dropped out due to bullying, something that would not have been a consideration for me, had I even wanted to. But back then I stood up to the bullies. Again, that being said, the bullying was nothing like the evil I faced working in the school district a few years ago. It was a whole different level. Bullying when I was in school was more of physical threat and limited taunting. Not a network as I experienced when working. So if there are nasty bitches such as I experienced w rumor making, and continual network bullying following me around then by all means, homeschool if you can. There are plenty other ways for her to get socialized, like your local church youth group for instance. he needs to know she is fine, but there is something very wrong with the bullies. And this is the world we live in. Cutting is not dealing.

I started cutting when I was 15 and it’s only gotten worse. I am SO glad you are involved in her life. I know from experience cutting is so hard to stop. If she wants to be homeschooled then there is a reason for it, maybe she’s just more comfortable at home and that’s okay. However there are lots of therapy groups out there, see if she will volunteer somewhere, 1 hour a week and hang out with friends, and there’s online groups. If you do homeschool her I would just encourage going out with friends. I hated school even into high school, not because of school but because of all the people and it made me anxious, and every night before bed I would cut and I felt better, it’s how I got through the day. I'm 20 now and I still do it, I would try to discourage it of course, but the best thing and the only thing I wish my mom would have done, is talked to me. My mom ignored it and she still does. In the last year I’ve been to the E.R. 3 times, making my total 5. The longer you ignored the worse is gets, so I am so happy you are there for her. I would also see if there is other things she can do that gets her the same relief cutting does.

Homeschooling does not have to mean isolation. My sister in law homeschooled her kids and they attended co-ops where homeschooled kids came together for certain classes. I can find out how to access these co-ops if you are interested. Just let me know.

You are all right,who ever said school is the only way.I have always felt she would do better without traditional brick and mortar school.I have sent for homeschool info many times,spoken to mom's at church who homeschool,I have done my homework.my daughter has always been very social,has friends,has never had a problem making friends.She was the girl at the park who would walk up to anyone and ask them to play.I don't know why I listen to professionals and think they know everything.I told her this morning if school does not work out(she goes back tomorrow after doing home bound for 3months) I have no problem with homebound.

All of my problems started when I was around 13. She could be dealing with rude kids at school or she could just have too much goi on and you don't realize it. I know 13 doesn't sound like an age you should have stress at but it was one of my most stressful years. All of the hormones and then trying to maintain friendships, good grades, and getting into the interest of dating. I guess the best advice I can give you is to give her a break maybe? My mom arranged me to go to a councillor and I absolutely hated it but it did help me a bit. Also, switching this many schools might not be the best idea.

Switching schools was her idea,she wanted a fresh start without all the question of why were you not here for 3months and so on.Also at her of school word got out that she was cutting.We gave her the choice.we moved in Dec of when she was in 2nd grade so this school is where all of those kids go,also the principal she had back then is now the principal at this school,she will reconnect with all of those old friends that we bump into occasionally.I see that 13 is a tough age,I took the stress of good grades off her awhile ago,I could see she was starting to stress about college,grades ECT and I told her no matter your grades you can always figure a way to reach your career goals.Byt she is a solid B,B-student.

I agree with Bridge also. Please follow your heart!

God Bless