Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi,
My siblings and I care for our elderly parent with dementia. It's 24 hour care. I am finding that I am not emotionally equipped to handle this. As you can imagine the condition never gets better only gets worse. Well I will usually reach out to my siblings when it's my turn just for words of encouragement nothing more. My brother told to me to stop bothering them. That made me really sad and angry. I would never say that to any of my siblings ever under any circumstances. All I need is words. So now I am on an island all alone. There is nobody I can reach out to.
I am assuming that people I have never met will be more empathetic to my situation than my own family. But you can't choose your family.
I will appreciate any advice.
Thank you.
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maybe the situation you are in is kind of getting to everyone?
Under no circumstance
should he say that to you.
Can you speak with one of your siblings privately and tell them how you are feeling ?
There were arguments during my mothers illness, I definitely kept quiet as now everyone is fine and who knows if I got involved , they could all not be talking to me.
Anyway. It is a draining time caring for a sick parent. And dementia is so very sad.
Also, we did end up with a live in caregiver becaue my mom couldn’t be alone at night and we all our own family responsibilities.
Unsure if that’s something you are able to do.
I wish you well and hopefully you can speak peacefully to a sibling.
I am so very sorry you are going through this. Please reach out anytime you need words. This site has saved my life.
Sorry you went through that.
Unfortunately I was told to leave everyone alone. I can’t reach out to anyone which is why I’m here.
I’m just sad that I would be there for anyone of them who needed it but when it comes to me it’s like go f yourself
That’s how I feel
Thank you for that. See I knew complete strangers would be kinder than my family.
I’m just trying to keep my wits about me even when I get frustrated which is often.
It’s basically just taking things one minute at a time. Can’t even say one hour at a time cause things change minute to minute. I probably will be posting often because I need support
Yes I get it when you were told to leave everyone alone. I thought maybe one sibling would be kind enough to speak with you.
So yes there are many people on DS to respond. And people here understand.
Sorry if my response wasn’t what you needed to hear. But I understand a parents illness putting extreme strain on you.
I will just turn to the people here. Way more understanding than my family that’s for sure
I am so very sorry you are dealing with this. I went through something similar, but I was my Mom's sole caretaker, and my siblings were off living their lives.
I stopped reaching out to my siblings for any words of comfort.
I can only guess your siblings are tired and that is their nature to react that way (nothing new, am I right?)
Are you still with that boyfriend.... can you talk to him? And have you considered taking that medication that you mentioned back in June?
We caretakers have to take care of ourselves first. You are important. Thank you for the hard work you do for your mother. I understand what you are going through.
Thank you for that. I am still with my bf but I don't tell him much. If I did I feel that is all I would ever talk about. I need to talk to people who have experienced the same thing, I feel they understand more. I have not taken the meds. I don't know why really. I just should.
Honestly I don't know how to take care of myself.
Thank you for your kind words,
Scorpio
Please believe I totally get it taking care of a sick parent.
Everytime the phone would ring I didn’t know what was happening next and if my brother was going to tell me to get to my moms house quick or she was going to the ER and no one could go so I had to.
This went on for a very long time.
Anyway. My heart is with you.
And yes the work you are doing for your mom is very draining.
Thank you for that. Draining is an understatement. It’s creating riffs for sure but unlike my siblings I would never take it out on them.
Same here. I am the one who was always quiet when the exchanges became heated. And right , all in are the same boat. Taking it out on one another just makes it all worse and way more stressful. I know how it feels with the siblings as I have other issues with one sibling in particular and it is super upsetting to me.
So I know how you feel with the sibling “issues”. (Word should be stronger!
I’m not sure what’s going to happen in my family in the future.
Right now it’s tearing us apart