I’m sorry to read about your suffering. These are hard times for those with no underlying health issues, mental or physical, for those with with healthy problems it’s so much harder. So what you are feeling is normal, you are experiencing something very hard for everyone, I checked your age, you are very young too. Writing here is a great step forward, I know it helps me so much personally, so I really encourage it a lot. Generally writing is therapeutic. Also, if you have access to open space, a balcony or window, a garden is ideal, but don’t have to be. Just look at the sky, watch people for a while.. I did it this morning and timed myself not to stop for at least an hour, I feel as if I’ve had an outing, have regular showers, use your favorite perfume, they also advise to actually get dressed in the morning as if you are going out somewhere, that can help you feel different for a while. Only wear pajamas before bed time. I hope this helps a little. As for OCD, i find reading about it very helpful, google it and you can have access to many sites that explains it, it helps me to be reminded that it’s just an obsession, it’s not real, just a feeling and you can fight it. I really hope you have a wonderful day. ☀️

I understand. I feel very similar. I am using all the skills I have and it is not making it any better for me either. Be kind to yourself. Feel your feelings, its ok to be anxious, its ok to be scared. I find for me the more I try to "ignore it" and push it down the worse it gets. So be real with yourself. Ask yourself what you are afraid of and is it actually going to happen? If the worst does happen will you be able to handle it? If not get plan of action. Sometimes we can only cope one day at a time one hour and a time one minute at a time and that is ok too. I agree with nadz.......have a shower get dressed (in something nice) make a cup of tea or fancy coffee or something you like. Grab that book you have been meaning to get around too,or pick a movie that makes you feel good and make some popcorn, Learn something you've always wanted to learn - a second language ? research a country you'd like to visit, If you could do anything you wanted at this moment what would it be? Is there a way to make it happen in some small way right now where you are.
ex I always wanted to go to Russia....so I would watch stuff about it, or read the history of it or look for a recipe and make it. Take a virtual tour of a museum etc.
It's not the same but hey if I ever get a chance to go at least I will be prepared.
For me swimming helps, so fill up the bathtub and just float. Walking is a good thing......go to youtube and find a indoor walking routine. Be creative, get out a coloring book and crayons, why not be silly and have a little bit of fun.
Hope you can find something. You are not alone in how you are feeling. It is tough right now for just about everyone, take comfort in that. I know sometimes I feel too like it is just me that is not handling it well and it helps to know I am not alone.

Thanks all for the advice you have given me I had to call my mental health nurse today she's coming over to see me tomorrow morning with a doctor to see if they can give me anything else to take I like the tips and the one about not putting my pj's on till it's time to go to bed I really relly would like to say a big thank you to both of you for getting back to me on here I will let you know what happens tomorrow thank you keep safe kind regards love joanne x

I am so glad you are better. I think you got some really good advice. I agree with letting yourself feel all the emotions. Maybe writing about them, or talking about them could help you determine why you are feeling a certain way, or what is triggering you. And definitely try to keep a routine, each day, whatever that looks like. It has helped me, even working from home, to make sure I get up and shower and dress in clothes other than the ones I've slept in. One other thing too, give yourself some grace. This is a very hard time for everyone. Taking the pressure off yourself might help reduce your depression. You are gonna get thought this, you are so much stronger than you realize! HUGS!

Thanks ellaescribe for your reply and advice

Little update the mental health nurse came to see me today at home she checked my over for evidence of myself harming cutting hurting my self the doctor as up my dose of anit depsson tablets and also given me some tablets to help me sleep the nurse is calling me tomorrow and coming back to see me on Sunday she's told me if I self harm anymore they will look into takeing me back into hospital for my own care and safety I don't want this as last time I was in there it was bad they kept me in for 6 months and I had to have a lot of drugs ect so iam hoping to avoid it this time they up my depression tablets from 150 mg to 200 mg I hope they work better and make me feel better why oh why is it me who's got these mental health problems underneath and in side iam really a nice and kind person who will not harm anyone thank you all for reading this and giving me advice and tips I will always be so greatfull to all of you regards joanne xxx

That is so good of you to reach out. This is such a difficult time to be going through and the crazy thing is we are all going through it together. Have you talked to your doctor about your dosage? Do you have a therapist that is helping you get to the core cause of your depression? I dealt with depression for years and I mean over two decades. I made the mistake of never talking about it so you are so brave to be on here and talking about it. I have noticed that if I stay busy during the day cleaning, baking, reading, walking and so on it is easier to sleep at night. And getting vitamin D for the sun is vital right now it helps with my mood. Please know I am praying for you. -Rachel

Thank you so much rachel 2535 for your advice it's gone midnight here in the uk so iam going to try and get my head down and get some sleep I get back to you tomorrow

Hello all well a little up date yesterday Saturday I did not see any of it as the pills they gave me to help me sleep worked I was asleep all day and night long I did wake up for about a hour took a call from the mental health nurse then got changed in to a new nappy /dipper and pyjamas then went back to sleep just hand no energy then this morning I was up at 6am the mental health nurse and doctor as just left our house and they are happy with me as I've not self harmed myself they are calling around on Monday again to see me in the past we tried to get to the root cause of my depression it comes from my bed wetting and bladder problems and being raped in the past which still gives me nightmares to this day I feel worthless and feel I don't want to be here also unemployed which makes me feel so down iam so depressed and stressed and anxiety some days iam okay iam high and other days iam so low for days or weeks on end in the past I've tried to kill myself by takeing a overdose of tablets and cutting myself ect oh well I keep you all updated tomorrow today iam doing some art work then later this evening have a hot shower getting in to my pj's and takeing my tablets when my mom gives me them and haveing a early night so everyone please take care stay safe and well God bless you all joanne x

Hi Joanne,

Just wanted to drop a quick reply to your struggles. I don't know if this will be helpful to you but I have been listening to the work of this person Teal Swan.

This particular video is on healing the emotional body. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3V_Gtfr_YA

I also just downloaded a free kindle e-book from her called The Completion
Process.

Sleep is very important and if you can try to get into a regular sleep pattern will help your hormones. Be careful with meds as they have side effects. Do what you can to stay grounded or to relax like taking a hot bath with sea salt to cleanse your auric field and release negativity, go sit outside in the sun daily for 15 minutes or sit in front of a sunny window. Trust me this helps with depression (gives you natural vitamin d from the sun). Put your bare feet in the grass or hug a tree.

Stay well and stay safe.
Celestial Light

Celestial-light thank you for sharing this with me I will listen to it and get the e book thank you so much

Update I've been taken into the hospital mental health unit for my own safety as I self harmed myself quite bad by cutting my arm 's and legs which required hospital treatment to stop the bleeding I told them I think I sometimes hear voices telling me to do this to myself anyway they have placed me into the mental health unit so they can treat me and sort out my medication and give me the help I need to deal with it and to keep a eye on me to try and get me to stop self harming myself or trying to commit suicide as iam haveing some weird thoughts and things going on in my head right now iam upset I can not see mom or my sisters right now for a bit or I can not even phone them but as the nurses and doctors have told me I need treatment and help and iam in the best place now to get it I will keep you all updated I've got my own room thank God God bless you all

I will keep you in my prayers that all works out on getting better.

Morning all yesterday was a long day for me I had a very deep chat with a doctor about my problems she dug very deep in to my mind and head she read all my past medical records she made me cry relieving my past bring up when I got raped a few years ago and past events what as happed to me I got to see her again today for another 3 hour session tell you how it goes later I asked her how long I would be in here she said she doesn't know yet I got to have a injection every afternoon to help relax me and make my mood 's better and they are trying me on new tablet 's room is OK can not harm myself on anything in the room or hang myself and there's cctv in the room with it being watched 24/7 for my safety iam sure missing my mom and sister 's

I'm hoping you can reunite with your family soon. And I hope you get better soon. Sounds like you have alot of support here. I myself never have had to deal with depression, so I don't know what your going thru.