Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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My Dad Thinks I Should Cut My Hair!!

Naara
Naara
I can't cut my hair!!! Why should I do it? True my hair has not been combed in 8 months but I just can't bear the thought of cutting my hair. Right now I no longer have friends to talk to since they cannot understand what I'm going through or maybe they are in denial...I don't know. My boyfriend is an ass who doesn't want to admit that it's over for me and there is no us. All he does is get upset because I can't laugh at his jokes like the way I used to. I no longer have an appetite, was once a champion eater, eating 1plate and a 1/2 worth of food. Now all I have been doing is drinking soup. I've disgraced myself in the hospital by reciting my country's National Anthem when the doc simply asked me to take a deep breath. Now people think that I'm crazy, and now my Dad wants me to cut my hair because he thinks that it would help more with my appearance. I'm a black girl so my hair is not gonna look pretty especially after 8 months. But I need my hair, I can't take anymore change. I had to deal with my little bro crying because I'm not myself. I don't want him to cry I wish he could be happy!! I'm scared of how much I'm losing my old life. I just simply want my long hair, I don't wanna lose it. :( :( I already look like a twig who is a prozac junkie!! Is there anyways sort my hair without cutting it!!??
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
I am sorry for all your pain and your obviously struggling. Why haven't you combed your hair? I think you would geel better if you did. Maybe go have it done. I am not black and my kids are half but they have more my hair. I hope things get better. How old is your little brother? Kid s can sense or see when things aren't right so till he sees that he may be upset:(
BE0312
BE0312
I agree with serenity... I think going and getting your hair done would be a compromise between you and your dad. Not only will it allow you to keep your long hair and satisfy your dad's wishes, it may also do you a lot of good to go out and do something for yourself and feel relaxed and good about yourself. Maybe get a hairstyle that allows you to keep your long hair but only needs tending to every few months. I hope everything works out for you...
Naara
Naara
My little brother is 12. To be honest with you I don't really know why I've stopped combed my hair for so long. It's just that....I don't know. Ever since I became like this, I've found it difficult to motivate myself to do anything. It get's worse when I'm having headaches and chest pains. I'm suppose to do a heart scan soon and the thought alone is scary. My brother and I are very close so I can understand why he would be upset. He has asked me very often if I cannot just snap myself out of it. To be honest with you I don't know what to tell him when he asks me that question. Well I've asked a friend (she is more a neutral) to see if she can help me with my hair. I've yet to get a response. I'm just scared of going out on the road in this condition and people seeing me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your dad probably meant well. Just meaning you would feel better if you got it tidied. Which is true you can fool yourself into feeling better sometimes just by general grooming.

Hope things improve for you in the mean while.
doghunter59
doghunter59
don't know what to say about the daddy hair cutting thing but that dads and moms are so wrong some times. I should know, they cut the end of my weiner of when I was a child and U know that was my decision to make .... so parents screw up all the time....

I think it is a good suggestion, the going out and having your hare done. Sort of sounds therapeutic in a way...hay you know you'll be the talk of that part of town for a while. Kind of like singing the national anthem/song er what ever.

AS, for your brother he is not asking you to 'snap' out of it he is actually wanting you to change your thinking back to the way he felt more comfortable with ...aka... the way he grew up knowing you....

I think you should get ur hair done up also....(hay its some thing to do)
doghunter59
doghunter59
....k..... I suppose if you had a hare(type of rabbit) you could have him/her done up but I don't think....oh....

I ment hair not hare....
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
From your post, I am more concerned about your overall mental state than the length/condition of your hair.

Are you seeing a doctor ... and being forthcoming with your mental state with him/her?

I think you need an evaluation ... to make sure there is no psychosis going on.
Naara
Naara
Currently I'm seeing one. I've been doing lots and lots of writing so whenever I go to a therapy session I simply give her my journal for her to read. Sometimes I can't always focus on the things I'm saying. I find that whenever I write I feel 'normal' but whenever I'm about to speak to someone I sometimes utter some nonsense. She told me that I have 'severe depression' although to be honest I've not made any attempt to kill myself. Whenever I think about it I try my best to distract my mind with other thoughts. Besides I have no intention of leaving my brother. I love him too much. But cutting my hair!!?? Feels like I'm gonna damage apart of myself.
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
Severe depression is a serious condition ... ask anyone in this group. It does not necessarily have to involve suicidal ideation .. though it easily could eventually if not treated.

Since this DOCTOR has recognized/diagnosed this ... you REALLY need to get into a comprehensive treatment program. The things you describe are signs and symptoms of a PROGRESSIVE condition .. which is TREATABLE ... but only if you 'treat it' effectively.
koolman
koolman
I'm sure you have beautiful hair. Maybe just comb it!
Naara
Naara
Damaged a comb trying to comb my hair. My Dad is thinking of sending me to my Aunt since in the states, health care is much more manageable than out here in the Caribbean. However I'm hoping that she will be able to take me in my condition...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I replied to your post earlier, but must not have stuck.

I am female. Understand the whose concept. It seems we have control over nothing in our lives BUT our hair. Every time my mom sees me, her first words are, " you need your hair cut!" I am 45, she is 76. Really? Yet every Mothers day, and Thanksgiving, I cut it, which results in resentment.

I am wondering if your dad is trying to motivate you. I know depression all too we'll also. I used to barely have the motivation to get up to use the bathroom. But since I got on a med that is actually perfect for me ( after trying everything from a-z) I feel great most days. I have great coping skills but mainly, have learned to have a " Teflon mind." I very rarely let others get to me. What they may not like about me is their problem, not mine.

I hope you can find some balance. I'm here if you need me.

Gentle hugs hon,
Silly
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you wash it then put a ton of conditioner on it you can get a comb through it and maybe roll it into a bun on top, maybe then people would see you are trying to feel better and more comfortable, it's a start. I think they just want to feel you are moving forward and caring for your appearance is usually the first sign a person is trying. Hugs
Friend19
Friend19
Hair grows back girl...But I can understand how you feel as my mom does the same exact thing. For the short period of time I was feeling good, I actually went and got it cut and found that I like it much better. But I felt the same way as you before, I didn't want anything else to change. It was the little bit of control I still had left in my life. My hair will damage brushes too if I don't comb it for a while- I use a special brush that is not supposed to pull or rip at my hair. I got it at a hair salon.

HUGS
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just get your hair cut, and start over with a clean slate. Sometimes adults DO get it right, you know. You can grow your hair long providing you take care of it; growing a rat's nest on top of your head is pointless. It must look an absolute fright; clearly you've let it go without care for so long its beyond repair. Hair grows fast, and you will be glad you got rid of it afterwards, I promise you.
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