Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Consider this just a tiny rant as I just need to relieve some stress.
Currently, I am stuck in a dead end, high stress job that is really taking a toll on my nerves. I plan on quitting shortly, but as of now I feel stuck. I feel guilty quitting and not pulling in any income, but I do plan on working around the house and also working on art full time once again. SInce starting this job, I have worked tedious hours, rarely get to spend any time with my husband, and have not had time to create any art or music. This job has basically caused me to give up my life as far as I am concerned. I also work with hostile individuals who do not work and expect me to pick up after them, half of my clientelle are sketchy as many drug addicts and criminals shop at my store (I live in a crime infested dump), and I have NEVER received a raise, bonus, or ANYTHING in the entire 2 and a half years I have been stuck here. It's driving me nuts. Not only that, but I am almost always feeling fatiqued and sick, which causes me to have panic attacks at work. Fun.
Also, apart from my husband, I literally have no friends. Everyone round here is either into sleeping around or doing drugs and I do neither which makes nobody want to be around me, and lets be honest...I don't exactly enjoy hanging out with someone high and hostile off coke. I am virtually an outsider because I have morals, which is really messed up. Being as I try to be nonjudgemental as long as a person is polite to me, I feel hurt as I have gone out of my way to help people when they have hit rock bottom only to be spat upon.
I suffer from endometriosis, and all I want more in the world is to have a child. Although all of my endo has been removed and I have been told by my doctor that I should now have no problems conceiving, I still feel like I will never have a child as I am 34. Last month, I had a chemical pregnancy which really got my hopes up, just to be crushed upon realizing that I wasn't pregnant.
I also have a sister who is extremely ill whom I worry about often. She is on a ton of very dangerous medications which all interact with each other and has landed her in the hospital numerous times. Being as I don't drive, I hardly ever get to see her or my family, which makes me feel awful.
Currently, I am stuck in a dead end, high stress job that is really taking a toll on my nerves. I plan on quitting shortly, but as of now I feel stuck. I feel guilty quitting and not pulling in any income, but I do plan on working around the house and also working on art full time once again. SInce starting this job, I have worked tedious hours, rarely get to spend any time with my husband, and have not had time to create any art or music. This job has basically caused me to give up my life as far as I am concerned. I also work with hostile individuals who do not work and expect me to pick up after them, half of my clientelle are sketchy as many drug addicts and criminals shop at my store (I live in a crime infested dump), and I have NEVER received a raise, bonus, or ANYTHING in the entire 2 and a half years I have been stuck here. It's driving me nuts. Not only that, but I am almost always feeling fatiqued and sick, which causes me to have panic attacks at work. Fun.
Also, apart from my husband, I literally have no friends. Everyone round here is either into sleeping around or doing drugs and I do neither which makes nobody want to be around me, and lets be honest...I don't exactly enjoy hanging out with someone high and hostile off coke. I am virtually an outsider because I have morals, which is really messed up. Being as I try to be nonjudgemental as long as a person is polite to me, I feel hurt as I have gone out of my way to help people when they have hit rock bottom only to be spat upon.
I suffer from endometriosis, and all I want more in the world is to have a child. Although all of my endo has been removed and I have been told by my doctor that I should now have no problems conceiving, I still feel like I will never have a child as I am 34. Last month, I had a chemical pregnancy which really got my hopes up, just to be crushed upon realizing that I wasn't pregnant.
I also have a sister who is extremely ill whom I worry about often. She is on a ton of very dangerous medications which all interact with each other and has landed her in the hospital numerous times. Being as I don't drive, I hardly ever get to see her or my family, which makes me feel awful.
For instance, a few days ago a coworker and myself found a woman probably around her early 20's stubbling around and constantly opening the coolers and closing them. We thought she was drunk from the pub next door but it turns out she was actually high on heroin. A manager tried to kick her out of the store and had a bottle of gatoraid thrown at his head. And, this sort of thing is very common.
Sorry you are going through so much hell.. Sending positive mojo your way... so good to see you
I have been down in the dumps over not having a child and the chemical pregnancy was a real kick in the rear. I desperately want to get pregnant, which isn't exactly the easiest thing to do if all you and your husband does is work to the point where you have no together time and are constantly exhausted (sorry. kinda TMI).
As for my sister, I am really afraid of losing her. She is on a cocktail of medications that make no damned sense and she has nearly died on a number of occasions due to this. Her doctors cause more harm then help which is what is the most scary. Apart from severe fibromyalgia as a result of taking Lupron, they still don't know what is truly wrong with her and it is possible she may have MS. Currently, she is on Methadone, Xanax, Zanaflex, Oxycodone, Ambien, Adderal, and god knows what else. Does that make any sense to anyone?
I know there's really nothing that I can say to make anything better, but I will say a prayer that you feel some comfort in this difficult time.
I hope you get pregnant soon. I know that will make you happy. I used to think I could not get pregnant and boom when I put it out of my mind, here she comes. I could only have one, but I call her my miracle child.
I am sorry about your sister. And, yes, she is on a strange cocktail of medication. No wonder she is in and out of the hospital. All you can do is pray for her to get better and not need all that medication.
Again, I am glad you are back, just wish it was under better circumstance.
I had Endometriosis as well when I was 18 and had to deal with it until I finally had to have a complete hysterectomy when I was 25. I know how much pain you go through each month and I feel really bad for you. It's a terrible pain. One thing though, once you get pregnant, the pain will go away completely. Fortunately I had my two boys before I had the hysterectomy. Because of dizziness, there are many times that I can't drive either and it's hard when you have family that you can't see. I just read the end of your post and I'm so glad you don't have the endo anymore. It may take some time for you to conceive, but I believe you will. I will think positive thoughts for you!! I just realized, if you are that stressed from that job, then that too will make it harder to get pregnant. Put yourself first now. It's your turn.
I have endo, I know peeps with that and pcos who have conceived, infact everyone of them has done,my first surgeon wanted to remove everything when I was in my early 20's. I refused to accept that as it was just easier for him if we had our bits removed..Second surgeon did laser surgery and reckons I'll be able to coceive : ) hugs, just giving you a different prognosis given to me by my docs x
The whole work situation is confusing to me as the majority of the problem is that I can't make it through a day without an anxiety attack. I was told by my old therapist that I should never let panic win and that having things such as a job will prevent my mind from wandering and going into worry mode, but the entire time I am working I have dizzy spells and am in pain as I have bad back, neck and sholder problems. I also always have an upset stomach for some odd reason. I don't know if stress is causing these symptoms, but i'm certainly starting to feel like this job is messing up my physical health as well as my mental health, and that is unacceptable.
Lance- I have been around drugs my entire life, and just seeing how it makes people act is enough to keep me off of them. Many of my old friends are either dead or went missing thanks to drugs. I had a close friend from high school OD not long after graduation. One of the last things he said to me was to never do drugs and end up like him. Hard to break a promise like that.
ZAZAS- That's part of the problem is that the whole metro area is nothing but high crime. I don't drive, so I don't have much of a choise as to where I work. What I do know is that making sandwiches for tweakers who then walk out of the store without paying for the sandwich I made them is less than a rewarding job. I REALLLY need to get away from that dump. I need to work a 10 hour shift today and my back is killing me, plus I have a ton on my mind. It's driving me crazy.
Grammy- Both my mother and sister had severe endometriosis and both almost died as a result. My mother actualy married very young as she thought she was pregnant. Turned out she had a 8 pound tumor! My sister has stage 4 where a large majority of her organs are affected and have adhesions. Due to being sick, she is at high risk when it comes to surgery, so she only has the surgery when the pain becomes unbearable. Her whole nightmare began due to first being operated on while in stage 4. The doctors never seen such a severe case of endo, and being as there were many adhesions she hemmoraged and almost bled to death. They then put her on Lupron and she has been in severe pain ever since. I seriously lucked out as I only had mild endo. It only affected 1/5th of my right ovary, there was a small chocolate cyst on my left ovary, a golfball sized chocolate cyst on my vaginal wall and specks of endo all over my pelvic wall. All was removed easily and heres to hoping it's not growing back.
Firegirl- True, even drug users can be the nicest of people, but if there is one thing I learned it is this. They will be your best friend when they are clean, but the second they start using they only want to be around others that use and you become nothing to them. It's a shitty feeling that I have dealt with for far too long.
We have been trying desperately to get him to put on weight, and we finally found out what is causing him to only lose weight. Turns out he is anemic, which can mean only one of two things. Either he is just developing kidney disease or he has cancer. Kidney disease is treatable and is the most likely as elderly diabetic cats tend to develop kidney problems, but cancer is not. He needs to go in for more tests next month and I can only hope that it is nothing life threatening. Turns out his diabetes is back in full swing after being briefly in remission. His vet wants him back on 4 tics of insulin twice a day which is the same amount he was on when he was 15 pounds. He has gone into diabetic shock twice so I know there is no way in hell he can handle that much insulin. Ugh.
http://youtu.be/jYye59dstRY