Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
RANT 1
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, today I celebrate another year of sobriety from alcohol. Can't remember if it has been 2 or 3 years.
And yet, I crave alcohol now more than ever. I would fucking KILL for a Screaming Nazi or 7&7!
Last night, I asked another dumb ass question. One I always ask my husband. "Honey, in 2 or 3 years do you ever think I will be able to have another drink?"
Needless to say, he was a bit ticked off. Since we have been wanting to have kids, he thought I was going to ask, "honey, in 2 or 3 years do you think we will have a child?"
But no. Dumbass moi had to ask about alcohol. like that was somehow more important.
Now, I have had no problems whatsoever becoming sober in preparation of having a kid. I also plan on remaining sober as i breastfeed and raise a child. But, all I keep thinking about is will I ever have another drink ever again?
We keep dreaming of moving to NYC, and all I think about are the bars and how I can't even have a single drink. Fuck, when I go to an art show where there is always fuckloads of alcohol, is it that important that I can't have just one single glass of wine?!
And, why the fuck is this so important to me? I even went so far as to ask hubby if I could start drinking after the kids left the house.
"honey, can I start drinking again when I am in my mid fifties and the kids are out of the house?"
WTF?!
And Christ! Does all social events have to revolve around alcohol! This is probably part of the reason why I no longer socialize with anyone. And, will I ever perform in a band again when all one does is play bars?!
RANT 2
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lately, I have been angry all the fucking time. I am even angry at my husband, although I don't know why. Perhaps it is because he won't let me drink (rolls eyes).
Of course, he does do a lot of things that just drives me nuts, but don't we all have our own quirks that drives others nuts?
For him, it is my loud voice. he has anxiety problems because of work, and my loud voice triggers this. For a while, he was yelling at me for this, but we have decided to be more adult like, and if I get too loud he just asks me to tone it down. Still, he gets pissed at times, which makes me pissed because I really can not control the volume of my voice as much as he thinks I can.
Hubby also has some habits that drive me nuts.
First, he always has to wake me up when he gets ready for work.
I am trying to be more understanding and accepting of his right to relax before work. But, he blares the TV, talks to me when I am trying to sleep, and turns on all the lights. Yeah, I know I am probably not being fair, but if I was in his shoes, I would do EVERYTHING to prevent from waking him.
Also. I hate being the one to blame for mice being in the house when my husband is the one who doesn't use a garbage bag. All trash gets thrown on the table, and I get to clean it up. Wait, now that I think about it, I do the same damn thing. So, obviously this anger is displaced and irrational.
RANT 2.5
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will now honestly say DS is starting to piss me off. I am currently fuming mad at two users and iffy about another two. Thank goodness one of these two people left the board, or there would have been a massive fight.
About this one person. After reading her negative bullshit, I searched her post to discover a bunch of hateful, disgusting religious right boards. Now, I don't give a shit if this gets be banned because I have been fuming mad for an entire week over this, but one board called CHRISTIAN STRENGTH appears to be a board that revolves around gay bashing. This member, claiming to be a friend to homosexuals on THIS board, was going on the 'christian' board saying that all gays will forever burn in hell.
FUCK HER AND FUCK CHRISTIAN STRENGTH!
The numero uno post that makes me want to jump through the screen and strangle someone is a post made about 'my friend on the OCD thread'
Apparently, this person (who, like myself) suffers from HOCD and was looking for help. What did the people on this board say, along with the person who was the 'friend'? They told her she was going to burn in hell and, guess what? She is no longer a member of the OCD thread. Bravo, you pieces of human shit!
Oh, and to number 2 on my hate list. I'm so glad that you found it so easy to give up smack, but to FUCKING SAY THAT ADDICTS CAN JUST CHOOSE TO GIVE UP AT ANY TIME AND THAT IT IS THEIR FAULT THAT THEY DIE IS DISGUSTING!
Nice one bashing Corey Haim like that, because...you know...he was such a loser and who gives a fuck if he dies. In that case, who gives a fuck if any addict dies?
Oh, and while we are on the subject, my best friend died of a heroin OD. Was he a loser? I also have another friend dealing with heroin addiction that I have not heard from in months that I am worried sick about. Have a problem with him too?
Also, there are 2 topics that DS just never shuts up about. I am all for your freedom to go off about these topics, but being that these topics are major triggers for me, I have never said anything...
...until now...
First off, I am sick and fucking tired of people saying that people with mental disorders should not have kids, because we might pass on the disorder to them.
First off, my grandmother was Bipolar and i am very much glad that my dad decided to reproduce. Because, as much as I have suffered with mental illness, I CHOOSE LIFE. Life is precious. So are the lives of my sister and her three children. To anyone who thinks we are mistakes, fuck you!
I am also proud to say that my husband and I plan to reproduce once our finances are in order. Once again, fuck you if you have a problem with it!
Second, I AM SICK OF SUICIDE BEING CONSIDERED OK! What is with this talk of, it's ok for people dying of cancer to be euthanized, so why can't depressives?! Can you imagine a suicidal 18 year old coming on this board and reading that?! Do we really condone suicide on this board?!
SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER! THERE IS TREATMENT AND THINGS CAN GET BETTER!
well, so much for being the peacekeeper on this board...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, today I celebrate another year of sobriety from alcohol. Can't remember if it has been 2 or 3 years.
And yet, I crave alcohol now more than ever. I would fucking KILL for a Screaming Nazi or 7&7!
Last night, I asked another dumb ass question. One I always ask my husband. "Honey, in 2 or 3 years do you ever think I will be able to have another drink?"
Needless to say, he was a bit ticked off. Since we have been wanting to have kids, he thought I was going to ask, "honey, in 2 or 3 years do you think we will have a child?"
But no. Dumbass moi had to ask about alcohol. like that was somehow more important.
Now, I have had no problems whatsoever becoming sober in preparation of having a kid. I also plan on remaining sober as i breastfeed and raise a child. But, all I keep thinking about is will I ever have another drink ever again?
We keep dreaming of moving to NYC, and all I think about are the bars and how I can't even have a single drink. Fuck, when I go to an art show where there is always fuckloads of alcohol, is it that important that I can't have just one single glass of wine?!
And, why the fuck is this so important to me? I even went so far as to ask hubby if I could start drinking after the kids left the house.
"honey, can I start drinking again when I am in my mid fifties and the kids are out of the house?"
WTF?!
And Christ! Does all social events have to revolve around alcohol! This is probably part of the reason why I no longer socialize with anyone. And, will I ever perform in a band again when all one does is play bars?!
RANT 2
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lately, I have been angry all the fucking time. I am even angry at my husband, although I don't know why. Perhaps it is because he won't let me drink (rolls eyes).
Of course, he does do a lot of things that just drives me nuts, but don't we all have our own quirks that drives others nuts?
For him, it is my loud voice. he has anxiety problems because of work, and my loud voice triggers this. For a while, he was yelling at me for this, but we have decided to be more adult like, and if I get too loud he just asks me to tone it down. Still, he gets pissed at times, which makes me pissed because I really can not control the volume of my voice as much as he thinks I can.
Hubby also has some habits that drive me nuts.
First, he always has to wake me up when he gets ready for work.
I am trying to be more understanding and accepting of his right to relax before work. But, he blares the TV, talks to me when I am trying to sleep, and turns on all the lights. Yeah, I know I am probably not being fair, but if I was in his shoes, I would do EVERYTHING to prevent from waking him.
Also. I hate being the one to blame for mice being in the house when my husband is the one who doesn't use a garbage bag. All trash gets thrown on the table, and I get to clean it up. Wait, now that I think about it, I do the same damn thing. So, obviously this anger is displaced and irrational.
RANT 2.5
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will now honestly say DS is starting to piss me off. I am currently fuming mad at two users and iffy about another two. Thank goodness one of these two people left the board, or there would have been a massive fight.
About this one person. After reading her negative bullshit, I searched her post to discover a bunch of hateful, disgusting religious right boards. Now, I don't give a shit if this gets be banned because I have been fuming mad for an entire week over this, but one board called CHRISTIAN STRENGTH appears to be a board that revolves around gay bashing. This member, claiming to be a friend to homosexuals on THIS board, was going on the 'christian' board saying that all gays will forever burn in hell.
FUCK HER AND FUCK CHRISTIAN STRENGTH!
The numero uno post that makes me want to jump through the screen and strangle someone is a post made about 'my friend on the OCD thread'
Apparently, this person (who, like myself) suffers from HOCD and was looking for help. What did the people on this board say, along with the person who was the 'friend'? They told her she was going to burn in hell and, guess what? She is no longer a member of the OCD thread. Bravo, you pieces of human shit!
Oh, and to number 2 on my hate list. I'm so glad that you found it so easy to give up smack, but to FUCKING SAY THAT ADDICTS CAN JUST CHOOSE TO GIVE UP AT ANY TIME AND THAT IT IS THEIR FAULT THAT THEY DIE IS DISGUSTING!
Nice one bashing Corey Haim like that, because...you know...he was such a loser and who gives a fuck if he dies. In that case, who gives a fuck if any addict dies?
Oh, and while we are on the subject, my best friend died of a heroin OD. Was he a loser? I also have another friend dealing with heroin addiction that I have not heard from in months that I am worried sick about. Have a problem with him too?
Also, there are 2 topics that DS just never shuts up about. I am all for your freedom to go off about these topics, but being that these topics are major triggers for me, I have never said anything...
...until now...
First off, I am sick and fucking tired of people saying that people with mental disorders should not have kids, because we might pass on the disorder to them.
First off, my grandmother was Bipolar and i am very much glad that my dad decided to reproduce. Because, as much as I have suffered with mental illness, I CHOOSE LIFE. Life is precious. So are the lives of my sister and her three children. To anyone who thinks we are mistakes, fuck you!
I am also proud to say that my husband and I plan to reproduce once our finances are in order. Once again, fuck you if you have a problem with it!
Second, I AM SICK OF SUICIDE BEING CONSIDERED OK! What is with this talk of, it's ok for people dying of cancer to be euthanized, so why can't depressives?! Can you imagine a suicidal 18 year old coming on this board and reading that?! Do we really condone suicide on this board?!
SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER! THERE IS TREATMENT AND THINGS CAN GET BETTER!
well, so much for being the peacekeeper on this board...
Everyone has a right to feel the way they do, it goes with the territory, and I hope you feel better. xx
If he's that anal he might just wanna reconsider THAT project because there is no such thing as a quiet toddler.
That just gets on my nerves, I grew up with a hearing impaired dad (who loves that I speak clearly and loudly) and as a result everyone bitches about me being loud. I say "F THEM!!!" (loudly);)
Actually, thank you everyone for understanding! This has just been a heck of a past week for me. I went 5 days without Lexapro (out of laziness to pick the pills up I will admit) and I am just really feeling it today.
Just had my second panic attack today. I THOUGHT I was over them...
Oh, and Farie- www.myspace.com/kuno78 ;)
There are no stupid questions.
Have a good rest of the day.
i have been sober 11 yrs and i know its hard but im srry u cant drink again thinking about drinking is normal when ur an alcoholic but what u do is a different story would ur life be better or worse if u drink?IM HERE IF U EVER NEEED TO TALK BIG BIG HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barb
And, if you have a problem with anything I said, please say exactly what it was. I PROMISE I will discuss it with you in a mild adult like manner now that I have gotten my anger out.
Still, I always got to wonder why the heck I just can't be normal and be able to have one glass of wine at an art show or whatever. Alcohol runs rampant on my mom's side of the family, so I know the answer is I just got to stay away from the poison.
But then I go across the street to buy some cat litter (at a liquor store. Dumb me I know) and I see a bottle of Goldshlagger staring right at me.
Oh, and thanks for liquor adds on the TV!
dr bob thought of a drink everyday (co founder of AA) so dont let anyone tell u its not normal to think of drinking
I just checked when I made my sobriety goal, and it says 2 years as of the 20th, although I am pretty sure I was actualy sober for a week before making the goal.
So, it is 2 years, not 3.
Feels like 10
;)
Great rant hon.....and I hope that the urge to drink wanes over time. Congrats on the anniversary of your sobriety!!
{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}