Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Lost. No place left to go

deepdark
deepdark

first of all if you have a smarmy comment like the person here who responded to my post saying I was sicker than sick & they hoped I had the money to pay for the help I need please don’t respond at all. It hurt to the bone. I deleted all my posts here but here I am & I don’t mean to be combative at the start but it was mean.


anyway long story short. After a hard day & a full out fight with my middle daughter in which I really think I wasn’t being unreasonable( she no longer has a mother she’s telling people)I had a long talk with my husband. Mind you this was right before I was set to go out to my first solo public function in years. Severe social anxiety rears it’s ugly head. And I had a history of making trouble ( due to my illness. I acted out a lot)with this group but it was long ago  


I told my husband that I didn’t feel he had my back & I talked to him about my suicidal idealization my research on the subject. That I had decided on my method & place. But in an aside suicide is a tough decision to make.


well he ranted on about how he hears about it & hears about it but doesn’t see anything happen & it’s just words & words don’t mean a thing.To tell you the truth it made me want to just do it right there & then. “ so there!”


it certainly didn’t feel very supportive or encouraging. I woke up feeling very despondent today & im grappling w the decision to do it now bf anyone is up or sludge thru another day. I’m sad. It took a lot out of me to just show up at this function I just feel sad & disappointed in myself that I am so sad. I’ve run everywhere. I feel I’ve tried everything in my power to feel better. To “ try” as everyone puts it. I have no place left. I feel incredibly alone

Flashreturns
Flashreturns
I have never come across somebody making such a terrible comment as you endured. That's terrible
You did make that function. That's a step in the right direction.
I presume you have read books on anxiety ? What books have you read ?
OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
I don't know what you have endured but, suicide is not the answer. I have spoke at funerals where the deceased committed suicide. A few I remember well was an 80 yr. old man, who killed himself with a shotgun. The family is still devastated yet today. Another was a 28 yr. old man who hung himself and his brother found him. His brother suffers from PTSD because of it and his mother has never got over it. Lastly, I spoke at a funeral for a 12 yr. old boy who hung himself due to bullying. He was a frail little boy and others picked on him. He was an only child of a family. Whether you believe in a hereafter or not is your choice but, I have seen the loss, sadness, devastation and emotional pain of the survivors of these cases I have mentioned. They carry these things the rest of their lives. In many cases, we feel life isn't fair and it isn't. Things happen in life that trigger depression, anxiety and other issues. I have been there too, I've had a nervous breakdown and was diagnosed with depression in 1995. We can not control what others do or what others think about us, even those in our own families but, we can control how we react to these things. Life is precious in any form. I an facing the 14th anniversary of my son's death on July 6th. I get very sad this time every year but, I work through it. Hang in there. My thoughts are with you.
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