I feel your pain. I don't have anything going on either. I have a daughter but she'll be away for the weekend. I had a big family years ago, but most of them are gone now. Worst part is being home all alone on Christmas Eve & Day,
I know this is pitiful, but I've got to keep busy to keep my sanity. I'll probably start a cleaning job in my apartment to keep me going. I find when I'm physically active and doing something, I don't think of anything.
I hope you can find ways to cope too. It's not easy for us.

Yes, I'm also sad and depressed immediately on waking. Maybe a few seconds go by then some thoughts start to creep in and it's so frustrating. I don't think it will ever change.

Aww you are someone special when you wake up each morning give thanks to the Father above, Give him thanks read the word and pray then find something to keep your mind going there is a lot of volunteer work out here which can help you. I loss my only child, both parents and my husband 6 years ago.but i have Jesus in my life which keeps me going you are not alone i will be praying for you just hold on Try Jesus he worked for me and if he can help me he can help anyone

you shouldn't be too hard on yourself as there are major statistics to show that the xmas / new year period is very triggering and hard for a big chunk of people. It's a time that screams you must be happy, have a pack of loved ones around you, have money to buy expensive gifts. That doesn't suit or match everyone. It's also a time when there are a lot of public holidays and a lot of things are closed, so if you're alone you can't go anywhere. I suspect you'll be feeling better by 2nd week of Jan:)