you will grieve in your own way. there is no proper way to grieve. My father died Dec 30, 2010. It took until May 2011 until I cried one tear. And when I did cry, I balled. What changed...I found a bottle of Crown Royal my dad bought my husband when my son was born. That bottle was supposed to be shared by my son, husband and dad. Now that wont happen.

I had a pdoc appointment a week after the funeral. As my pdoc said, there was nothing she could do for me at the time. If after 3 to 4 months things weren't improving I was to let her know. Things did improve slowly. Life got back to normal.

I was a daddy's girl. Losing my dad was hard, but I had to take care of funeral arrangements because my mother was useless. I was my father's first born. It was my job.

Just leave yourself time. You will know when you are not improving. Let your pdoc know what happened so they can keep tabs on you, but don't let it worry you that it is taking time.

I lost a baby almost 6 years ago and as it was suddenly, I was traumatised as well as grieving for him. Everybody is different and there are no time limits to grieve. All I can say is just take it 1 day at a time. Have you considered bereavement counselling? I done it for roughly 2 years and was a huge help. talking things through is the way to go in terms of coping, Icouldnt really talk to anyone but my counsellor as no one had really been through what I had. Talking to other people who have had a loss is very helpful. Hope this helps in some way

@angeleyes92 ~ Sorry. I don't know what "pdoc" is. :/ I'm a daddy's girl, too. And I was his only child and so was also in charge of funeral arrangements. I have a half brother by my mom, but he's been more of a bother than a help. He keeps taking things from my dad's house without asking (even after I gave him literally everything outside the house, which was a lot). I'm working to get it all into storage, but I live over 100 miles away and can only work on it during the weekends. I cry almost every day, but it's just a few tears here and there. I guess it still doesn't quite seem real to me. I've been staying busy, but now that things are slowing down, I feel like the hopeless feeling is starting to sink in. The weekend after he died, our home was broken into, also. I have numerous other things I could add to the list of stuff that's got me down lately, but family troubles with my brother and my dad's death are the two biggies right now. My thoughts snowball and if I don't catch myself, I'm afraid I might never return from the hopeless feelings.

@amack0601 ~ I don't think we can afford any kind of counseling right now. I've tried talking about it with a few people, but I always end up feeling worse than before I talked. I'm left with swollen eyes and a pounding headache and nothing is made better for it.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your dad. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. I lost my mom 25 years ago when I was 32, and there are still times I bawl my eyes out. I like to believe she is looking down on me.
Please accept my prayers and condolences.

@bethelbee ~ Thank you. 25 years ago, huh? Wow. So this is probably never going to stop then. :(

I didn't mean it to sound like the grieving doesn't get easier. Over time it does. There are lots of times I think of her and am fine. Just occasionally I think of her and cry. Her name was Wilma and she used to say, "We live right, kid" when we'd find a good parking spot while shopping. So now, if I ever want a good parking space, I pray to 'Saint Wilma' like people pray to St Anthony when they lose something. I'm not Catholic but it works sometimes.
Sending more hugs!!!

I am so very sorry for your loss. We lost my sister 2 years ago the end of this month. It was sudden, none of us saw it coming. Hit my parents very hard; mom was in the beginning stages of dementia which complicated things.

There is a bereavement group here; it really helped me get over the loss of my sister. Here is a link to that group:

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bereavement/support-group

Therapy can help, but here is one lesson I learned: Ignore any advice that talks about set number of stages of grief and/or specific order for going through them. Yes, there are stages of grief. But it is OK to leave a stage, then return to it later. As the days turn into weeks which turn into years your hurt will fade. There will be events (holidays, birthdays, etc) that hurt more than others, but this is all normal.

We lost my wife's father almost 30 years ago. We both still think of him. There are sad moments, but mostly we think things like "Oh dad would have loved talking to our children about this that or the other thing that they have been doing".

I do not know if you can control how you grieve, but by being aware of it you may be able to navigate it better. And the people in that group can really help.

Gentle hugs

@bethelbee ~ Thanks. I get what you're saying.

@ThePepperMan ~ Thanks for the link. This was sudden for me, too. Coroner said he had a massive heart attack and probably had been having pains for quite some time. I'm sure he never even told his doctor about it. He certainly didn't tell me about it.

pdoc is a pill doctor, usually a psychiatrist.

This past Christmas was the hardest so far. We made it through the first Christmas and death anniversary because we knew we had to. The second year was like pulling teeth. I could have cared less about Christmas presents and decorating. If it wasn't for the kids, I might not have done any of it.

I get through his birthday and father's day ok...they weren't special days in our family. Christmas was just hard because he was in the hospital for his last Christmas and then 5 days later he was gone.

The bereavement support group here is pretty good. I was on it for a while after dad died, I just left because I didn't have much to offer any more.

Take time

I removed all the pictures for about 4 yrs. It may not be the ideal way of dealing but it was MY way. I still do not go through the things I have of his after 7 years but have the pictures back up. Hugs.

As others have said, we each grieve in our own way. Some cry, some get very reclusive while others seem to just shut away their feelings and lock the door.

Grief will come out in some form or fashion. I lost my parents 20 yrs. apart. I lost my middle son in 2005 He was 37. I still grieve for him but, it is not as severe as the initial time of his death was.

Grieving is a natural process and it actually a healing process. Like any physical injury, it takes time to heal. Please stay with us here and we will do our best to support you and pray for you through this process.

There is no set grieving process. To be frank it's kinda naive that people think you can cry it out and just get over it. That's not really how it works especially with someone so close as a parent.

I lost my father in October. I was a daddy's girl, too. It has been extremely hard. I find grief for me tends to come in waves. Moments when it would hit me hard and then moments where I'd seem normal (well as normal as someone severely depressed can be) and would wonder if I am done grieving. Now that it is 10 months out I find that it is a bit easier, but it is still hard to wrap my head around and of course there are dates that always make me think of him more and make it hard. He started to get sick last August so remembering that is hard.