I used to have that SAME problem with my family. I was always the helper. i was always the mediator. and finally i made up my mind that they would have to survive without me doing that because i just couldnt do it anymore. and guess what.. they survived it.. it felt so good to just let them self-destruct.. but honestly they didnt. You cant sacrifice your sanity for your dysfunctional family.

well I just went outside while they screamed and yelled at each other and I could still hear it. I felt guilty for not doing anything and it tore me up

well I just went outside while they screamed and yelled at each other and I could still hear it. I felt guilty for not doing anything and it tore me up.

You cant be a mediator, you cant let them (or you) put you in the middle. If there are two people arguing other than you.. it's NOT your job to fix it.. (unless it's 2 of your kids and they are under the age of 16.)

You dont have to feel bad for not being a part of someone ELSE's war!

Let them fight it out.. or if possible just LEAVE. luckilly i'm old now and can just say 'BYE' and go somewhere else.. i dont know if you can do that. when i was younger i'd have to put on headphones and let them argue it out..

Yeah I know I guess I just am so used to doing it that is has become habit for me

I feel your pain. This long weekend is scaring me. During the work week, I have enough human contact to keep me okay, but I have no family and very few friends, so weekends are usually spent alone. Sending you hugs and prayers.

thanks valcano63 my main concern is being away from people and slipping back into cutting because I normally do after a few seconds days after not being around people who understands me unlike my family stupid I know but how I am

I am sorry that you are alone during your time at home.

shadow.. it took me a long time to understand it.. but the bottom line is you can ONLY change YOU. you cant make them stop arguing no matter how much you play peacemaker. not to mention it's not your job nor should you be put in that position.

Work on removing yourself from the situation. it's REALLY hard at first.. and then really hard again when things calm down then flare up.. but you have to remember, unless it's YOUR kids fighting it's not your responsibility, you shouldnt let yourself feel guilty because they cant fix their relationship.

Volcano - I know it sounds silly and it's hard for some people to do.. but check out meetup groups in your area, check the community center for activites, or even take a dance class.. It's easier to meet someone when you are DOING an activity or class. It's hard to just "meet" people.

Thanks npellis I will work on that definitely

so what does cutting do? do you think i should try it? hell im bleeding all ready, get these blood blisters on my arm and they pop some times and get my blouse bloody, feel like cutting them, maybe ill feel better what do you think? should i try it?life is depressing and i notice cutting is the rage, do you need a razor or just a sharp knife what about infections ?

sorry im a little insane now, i could say just about anything, i was hurting last night and saw your post, i just got overwelm by the pain of it all , yours mime, really felt like cutting a little but didnt for me it would be to much . yes folks im struggling, its hard for me to share the love in my heart, my heart quit talking to me, im lost didnt mean to intrude please forget i said anything.