It does feel like cruelty!
People will tell you all the things you need to do to help attract or find what it is you are searching for. You know what I say that, "Well duh!". I know I am not like alot of people. I know I have problems. Its not like I have not put any work into making things better but still nothing much changes for me. I know this is not very positive and I am sorry but you have probably already heard all the suggestions and all the talk about being patient. I have just grown more callous about the whole thing. I dont want to care anymore. If no one ever see me, well to bad. I am far from perfect but could made someone happy just the way I am. If the world does not want that, well I dont want the world

Thanks for being honest. Actually, I know exactly what you mean. People say do this, do that... but what if you already have and a lot of people don't do this and that and still wind up in relationships and with families and friends. I'm not like a lot of people, either. Never really fit in. I've put work into it to and nothing much changes. same thing. it still hurts though. I've stopped putting myself out there as much because I'm so sick of the rejection. We're very similar, thank you for sharing your story.

I really do wish I had something better to tell you. I felt a little bad about writing that but it is how I feel.
I have not given up on the ideal completely, although sometimes I wish the feeling would just die out completely in me
You are right about some people never putting in the work, and still they find people to be with! I have known more than a few guys over the years that in my opinion had much worse problems than I have and still they seem to have no problem finding someone.
Just an example. I have this cousin that is a total alcoholic and he never seems to have a problem finding someone to at least date. Sure most of those women have major problems themselves but he did have at least one woman years back that was really nice and wanted to help him be better.
I know this because I had open conversations with her about his problem. It seems to me like I have always been the "niceguy". The guy that women talk to about their problems and relationships but never consider actually dating.
I just dont get it!
Maybe I am not suppose too:(

Hello,

I feel somewhat the same. I've learned that alone time is good at least for me, I'm able to meditate and get to know myself. What do I want in life? Who am I? I haven't answered those questions fully yet, so I don't expect Mr. Right Guy to show up in my life quite yet. I think my generation (1996) has been forced into this social media world and a world of trying to achieve what our past generations have. Moved out at 18, started a nice entry level job, and were getting these things much later. It forces us to become isolated trying to always catch up it seems like. But, I try to have different things throughout the day that I can socialize online, like this chat room or zoom rooms so I have more interaction. That helps me feel not alone. I go to LiveWell Foundation support groups online and it's great so far. I know it can be hard being alone, my first year I cried a lot. But I looked up to a single woman in my old church and she was single and was always looking at life on the bright side. I figured since a very young age I always wanted to live alone. I grew up in chaos, so living peacefully alone is all I can ask for now, but I know it's challenging for my friends. Do what you can, and try to go to free festivals at parks and meet and mingle with people. But it's not easy, the stress of the world is far too great right now and everyone is feeling the same. You are not alone.

Anna, I'm in the same boat. And I've recently tried volunteering to make new friends, but all the people I'm meeting already have their friends.
If it was hard before, it's even harder now that we're older.
I just got put on medication because I was getting so down about it.
Let's just take it one day at a time and not think about it too much, that's what I'm going to do, and I'll still volunteer to keep busy.

It's 100% true, loneliness sucks, and not in a good way! LOL Know that you have plenty of likeminded people here that feel your pain.

Thank you all so much. this made me feel better. I'm not the only one struggling with this. that helps. i know what you mean how it gets harder as you get older and also how some people form relationships easily without really trying and even when they aren't really very nice. Being nice doesn't seem to go too far in this world.

Sadly nice does not seem to be the thing that gets you what you want in this world.
At this point in my life I am not going to change that much, so I might as well come to some kind of terms with being alone.
I was thinking about what I said about being the niceguy and how it seemed like women only wanted me as someone they could share their problems with. Well thats my own fault really. Well not fault, just circumstance mostly. When I did still have a social circle all my guy friends had girlfriends and whenever they were having problems I would often be the one the girlfriend would talk to about the problem. Since they were already attached of course they did not want me.
What always amazed me is that they would hold on as long as they could even if they were being treated like crap! No one ever wanted to hold onto me like that!
I could always talk to women that were already attached. Maybe it just seemed safer. I dont know! Maybe that was just circumstance too. I am sure fear of rejection also played a big roll in why I was never with anyone.
Over the years I have had more than one woman tell me that they did not think rejection bothered men as much. Well I can assure you that is not true of all men!

I understand what you are saying. It's not fair. I've stopped trying to want anything anymore too. And I don't to a certain extent, but I still get really sad and lonely.