I am tad down on myself today. It's depression but not...you know major depression. I am not heading to the forest with a rope or anything.
Its career and life style related. First off, I think I am a good graphic designer. I have been using graphics apps since 1995. Adobe Photoshop since V3.0. With no layers. So I know how to use the Adobe apps. I am current to CC 2020.
I am applying for even these jobs that requre 1 year experience. Hell, I just want health insurance..they can pay me what the fuck ever. As long as my commute does not put me at a disavantage. Or if its a remote job, even better.
So having zero, zilth, nada, bubkis feedback in that areana. Fine. I don't have a girlfriend. Ok theres that. Fine. So at least I figure I can get a job that I totally don't despise right? WTF? No repsonses. I have been fucking with the graphics for over 20 years. Awesome photo editing, good, solid and mature design techquiques. I don't use the silly, automated filters on photoshop. I create drop shadows manually with seperate layers.
Anyhoo. Just frustrated. Still applying and my resume mysterously ends up in the black hole. WTF? I am doing nation wide remote job searches. Having scammers try and get my bank account info. So adding these scammers to the mix, is like rubbing salt into my wounds.
Ah well. I am on dating websites. Am always let down. Nothing. Maybe no one wants me or something. Maybe I suck or something .
I had these photo websites for over 20 fucking years, not one email....no interest. Do I suck so bad? meh Just venting.
Just an update on how I'm doing. I just feel like a complete basket case. I'm not liking myself these days. I think its from past abandonment trauma and from my boyfriend cheating. Im just an insecure mess that needs constant validation from everyone. Im not liking myself so much lately and I constantly feel people are going to dislike me for complaining all the time. In general I worry...