I have this unending sadness... And i absolutely hate it... I know thats a little blunt. But im just so tired of everything .... I miss the person i love.... And its killing me not having him around... I dont have anyone... Nobody cares... And in the end of it i just overall hate my life... The few people i have are always freaking busy nowadays... So i constantly stay in my feelings... I have lost my passion for anything i love... I have been very on edge for at least a week... It dosent take anything to get me to sob anymore... I have lost who i am... And part of me dosent want it back.... Part of me just wants to cut and it be the end of it... But im sorry that i dont want to listen to people harass me about cutting! I wasted 8 months of my life in a long term mental hospital only to go home and not only have nothing change in the way im treated... But then going through a lot of stuff... Being gay... Having nobody accept me... Moving back to my home state after 2 years.... Having everyone ask me what happened to me and why im not who i was... Im so worthless and just want the pain to end... Theres stuff thats happened that i dont wanna put online because i just dont want to have it open to public eye.... Ive been torn apart from the inside and i cant even feel anything physically anymore... And i just am tired of pain.. Im so stressed out and i cannot put up with going back to school.... Going apparently tomorrow to re enroll me.... And i cant do public..or anything anymore... And i lliterally just dont know what to do...