Now there you go with the idiot stuff again. Are you really that psychic that you KNOW everything is just going to be bad in the future? I agree with you that it should be ones right to decide when to die if they so desire, but you confound me with why you have such low self esteem when you have so much going for you. Why can't you appreciate all the talent that you have to offer? What is causing you such misery that you are giving up so young? It seems you want help but you won't let anyone close enough to understand you, no? Even though you may have been through some tough trials all ready, I love you my brother and God loves you... Peace and hugs buddy.

You could have such a bright future. The world is your oyster. All you need to do is put one foot in front of the other and get through each day. It can only get better right? I feel exactly as you do and want to no longer exist but really dont think you should follow the same path. Think about the people you would leave behind.

Trust me when i say that there is nothing worse than being a person at my age and holding old time vallues cause i know that they are right but what is the point of being a good hearted person when all you ever feel is agony and pain every time i get up. Compare me to other people my age, notice anything diferent. Im a fucking loser compared to everyone else in my age group, people are getting laid and im fucking disgusting to look at, others are getting women pregnant and starting families, me im waiting for right girl but i know ill never find her, why wait for something that willj never happen life is short i hear so why not just make mine shorter.

how the fuck do you know it wont happen.. I think your quite handsome but then again I am an old lady...
I havae a son just a little older then you that to me is gorgeous... only thing wrong is he is obese so no girls will try him out... beautiful boy but fat... I would hate to hear him talking like that... and I know he probably does to hisself..
you are 21 years old... why dont you just give it a chance? Life sucked for most of us at 21

My dear friend, In your picture I can see you are a young man. I know life sometimes is harsh on us but you have to live more to see that things can get better, you can have a wife or children. If you already have them you can enjoy a pleasure that was not given to everyone. No, I can't stand in my desk reading that you are not going to continue with the diferent stages life has. I'm 50. Today isnt one of my best days but I need to past one more stage in my life: getting older with dignity and you can write to me to cielomartnez@latinmail.com, I'm going to add this e-mail to my steady account. Take care. You are here for a purpose and you need to fulfill it no matter what happens. You have my true friendship. Please.Take care.

lol dumbidiot, really good to see you again! :) Haven't seen you post since your other im better off dead post.
Im glad you are still hangin in there and with us guy! Read replies here and agree with all! Don't worry guy your time is coming! And believe when it does? Are you prepared financially, emotionally? You need to be working on these two things so that when it does hit, you are ready to handle the responsability....
wow! REally good tosee you again!

I also think you are very handsome. My Nephew is 24 and he tell me girls do not like good guy. They want the rough type looking guy. He said when he a nice guy no girl want anything to do with him. When he acts like he an asshole they like him. I'm not trying to say you should be an asshole, and which he was not like that. People should not change for anyone but themselves. Beleave me when you get older and meet older woman they would love to have a nice guy. You are very young. If you give up you will never get what you want. How did everyone one here help you get to this point? you are not an idiot, you are young. Most the people you know that are your age getting marry and haveing kids, will probably be divorce in 10 years. They will be paying child support and hating their lives. Please do not give up you have friends here who care about you. I'm sure you have other people that care about you. Is your mom living? do you have brothers and sisters? do you have one friend? My cousion kill himself and I'm the one that found him did. The scream of my Aunt, his mom is something I hope I never hear again. Oh my God my baby boy is dead! She was freaking out. My cousion was in his early thirtys. It a day I will never forget and it affected me alot. Right now you may not love your self and do not care I've been there. I even thought about ending my life. That would be a very selfesh thing though. My nephew needed me, my mom needs me. Yea you may end your pain and never know of all the great thing that are ahead of you. But think about them. I know you have to have a couple of people that love you very much. You need to talk to them you need to see a DR, medication can help you alot. Read the support group about people that lost love one that chose to end their life. Feel their pain. keep me posted, you can also send me a privite message, but please do not give up, that is not the answer.

From my perspective, you're in a pretty good position now. You see everyone around you having a good time, getting married, starting families, etc...well, you can take this time to invest in yourself so that when the opportunities come later (and they will - I PROMISE!) you'll be prepared and have the ability to handle it responsibly. By then, the ones that you see now 'having fun' will be going thru their trials & tribulations and you will be the source of their envy. Just please get thru this troubling period in your life, invest in yourself, and better days will be your reward & you'll be a much stronger person as a result...

guys i have given up long ago and ive come to a point where i have helped everyone so far so they don't need my help and i really don't care anymore, why, well just look at me what is there for me, nothing, i will do this and i will succeed and i have to succeed otherwise i will keep on trying to die and well a man like that no one wants to be around anymore but with my death people will realize that what they have will be more important to them than it would ever be to me. So please stop mocking me now i don't care about my life anymore no doctor can help me no medication will and suicide is the answer for me, sure people will be hurt but that will make them stronger and in the long run they will have wished for me to be gone anyway. I already told everyone what i am planing and i will laugh at them at my last breath when i am losing connection to this world why cause it will teach them a lesson to never laugh at me cause im a failure. Theres a lot of people i have helped but they will forget me in time, time fixes everything just sucks that i dont want to wait for it when the best answer is right here.

Giving up and killing your self does not mean you succeed. It means you quit tring to succeed and that is the truth. Anyone can give up that the easy part, that a quiter. Some one who succeed does not give up! They keep trying to make it in the world until they do. They will become a man and they will succeed. You say you are a man and will succeed at this. You are not a man. A man would not give up, a man would succeed and go on. It will not teach them a lesson not to laught at you. It will just give them a reason to talk about you more maybe even laugh at you more because you could not hang. And the really sad part is they probably will never realize them laughing at
you is what cause you to do it. If you give up please answer just one question for me, why are you still on here? If I sound rough that because I'm trying to make you see that those people are bullies they do not give a fuck about you, so why do you give a fuck about what they think. Laugh at them call them imature little boys, because that what they are. Get angry at them. Tell them to shut the fuck up. Give them a taste of ther own medication. Believe me once you stand up to them they will stop. That had this girl that always pick on me, bully me, laught at me and I put up with it for a very long time. Then one day she started and I just turn on her like a pit bull. I can tell you one thing though she never laugh at me are made fun of me again. I all ways feel like people are laughing at me and think I'm stuiped. I will not let them win though. I will make it and I will succeed.

Isthereanend, well i do do that i dont understand why you think i dont stand up for myself im not giving up im a just surrendering and this is where its going and i am sorry if im taking up space on this board so i will just leave then so you dont have to listen anymore, see you.

You are not taking up space and by no way did I mean that. It just feels to me you are looking for help. I love listening to you, if I did not I would not respond. I was just really hoping I could change your mind. You seem to be happy with your deccision and I would like to continue talking to you, to the end. I did not mean to offend you and if I did I'm very sorry.

trust me i dont want to do this but every turn i take it seems like the right decision to me

I still pray you change you mind, but if you do not I understand. I can not tell you how many times I though about it. I've been thinking about it since I'm 13 now i'm 51 and wanted to do it really bad in Aug of this year. The two things that keep me from not doing it is my mom and my Nephew. My mon has alot of medical problems and I want to take care of her. To be truthful if my mom and nephew die I do not see any reason for staying around either. I'm tired of the hurt and the pain. I've been on medication and been seeing someone on and off for 24 years, and I still feel this way from time to time. I know the way I will kill myself, I will take all my pills and die peaceful in my sleep. Believe me I have enough drugs to do it. I'm tired of people , they still pick on me and laught at me. Sometimes I wonder if it written on my forehead somewhere. I'm fuck up, so just fuck with me. People make fun of the way I walk and talk. You would not think people that are older would be so cruel, but they are. Everyday I tell myself I can not take it anymore and sometimes I feel like I'm just going to snap. However I do not want to hurt anyone, I would rather just kill myself. I do not have many friends and a very small family. And to tell you the truth I do feel just like you.

I would like to know what happen to you that makes you feel this way. You said on you page if we wanted to know more to just ask.

I will tell you the reason I feel this way. I was sexually abuse and mentaly abuse by my father. It has made my life very hard. I would love to be marry and have kids, However when I meet someone and we seem to like each other alot the next thing a guy want is sex. When it comes to that part of a relationship, I get all fuck up and have not found anyone to help me work on getting to the trust and love part of a relationship. They all just turn and walk away. I came to realize it not even worth trying to have anymore. When people pick on me the mental abuse from my dad all ways come back and it feel like it still going on because it is. Everyday I go to work and come home and cry.The stress is so bad the left side of my face goes numb and I have a heavness in my chest. It feel like ants are crawing in the inside of my chest. I can not go to sleep at night so I'm on here. Well that my story. I wish it was not but it is. Now I'm going to bed and crymyself to sleep. I will wake up in the morning and take my pills and my happy blue one, which are xanax and go to work. then come home and cry and feel all stress out again until I take all my pills and fall to sleep again. I really try my best to be happy to feel love, but for some reason, I very seldom feel that way. I know people love me but I can not feel it, if you know what I mean. thanks for letting me share this with you. Good night.

Dumbidiot,
I don't know your exact situation but I had that tunnel vision you appear to have where you only see one solution; you want to escape the pain you're in.
I felt that way this past spring/summer when I held a loaded 9mm gun to my temple; finger ready to pull the trigger when I thought about my son at the last second. I've since joined this site and saw others who hurt as much as me...there's some comfort in misery, I suppose, but I discovered there were others who were also struggling but managed to strive on, perservere...that is what you MUST do now. You said you don't want to do this, SO DON'T. Deep dark depression creates this illusion that suicide is the only remedy; trust me it isn't. You need to find a positive focal point in your life; if you don't have one, create one. Also, after you do so, change your name to something more positive...