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Is there such thing as a healthy relationship?

Anna1212
Anna1212

I wonder if there is such thing as a healthy relationship and what would that even be.  I don't think I have ever been in one, except maybe witha childhood friend.  we just played and laughed all the time.  i don't remember any drama or powerstuggles until we grew older and apart.  but what about as an adult.  I don't think I have ever experienced a healthy relationship.  What I thought could be healthy relationships always wound up to be very toxic.  


i come from a family of abusive people so that may have something to do with it.


can anyone explain what a healthy relatinship looks like and if you have experienced one, i'd like to hear something about it.


this relates to depression in that i can't form a healthy relationship with anyone in the real world and in greatly contributes to my depression and anger.   thank you.

Scaredandafraid
Scaredandafraid
I believe there are healthy relationships as adults. Yes there will be drama and there will be fights but it's how you move past them that dictates if its healthy or not. If you can work past it together and no one is burying thier feelings. Granted they might be far and few between they are out there. I think the biggest problemis we are attracted to the same people that cause us pain. It's recognizing the pattern and changing it that's the hard part. Maybe someone that you aren't immediately drawn to. Someone you takethe time to get to know and realize they are different
Barry
Barry
I think there are many different kinds of healthy relationships. Friends of the same or different sex can have one or more shared interests such as gardening or a particular sport or music. Healthy relationships always involve listening as well as speaking to each other and understanding each other's point of view. Sexual relationships are more difficult because tastes vary so much between people and moods do not always coincide at the same time.
Lavender80
Lavender80
A healthy relationship is one in which you feel seen, heard, and cared for. The kindness, love, and compassion you give is reciprocated.

You should never feel guilted, threatened, and coerced into doing things you don't want to do or feel comfortable with.

A healthy relationship makes you feel calm, secure, and loved in return.

There's a balance in the dynamics.

Since you've been in abusive situations all your life...you know what they look like. When being shown kindness, and care in a healthy way...it may feel odd and uncomfortable to you.

But it's a great questions...and I've asked myself that too. And with this questions, you are going to make some wonderful changes within yourself and have much personal growth.

Part of attracting and keeping healthy people around...is becoming one yourself. If you have any negative or toxic patterns you've accumulated in your life...you want to heal those parts, and develop better life skills.

Otherwise...we end up seeking what is familiar.
Sending you light and love.
Anna1212
Anna1212
Really interesting and insightful replies. Lately I'm feeling like if I can't feel better I might as well learn as much as possible intellectually about what healthy is and how to try to achieve it. It may never happen but I feel like trying to understand it intellectually could possible bring me closer or at least make me feel less confused and helpless and guilty or whatever. thank you!
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