Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
notsoperfect89
Good Afternoon Friends - I need sincere advice
I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years (on and off) but lately I have been feeling as miserable as if I was single AND lonely. I have tried talking to him about the way I have been feeling and how I feel a disconnect in our relationship but just touching the subject usually brings me to tears and he just seems annoyed by it and tells me I'm just a needy and insecure girl. He lives with me and we sleep in the same bed, but that's about it. He seems to think that I should be content with his mere presence and that constant physical affection and attention from him is unnecessary. We barely have sex anymore and when we do it's rarely passionate. I don't feel desired by him anymore. He doesn't tell me I'm beautiful as often as he did in the past and he has become very critical of me recently by deliberately pointing out certain flaws in my body. I see him checking out other girls when we are at the gym and it makes me feel so disrespected.
We started going to gym a lot last year and it went from being a "fit couple" thing to being all about him. He is so full of himself! He has become very vain, always looking and flexing in the mirror, and he no longer waits for me to get home from work to go the gym together, he goes by himself, cooks only his meals and is only concerned with his own progress. To top it off, he even recently started working front desk at our gym and I've seen how friendly, polite and willing he is to help customers and even though I know that's his job, I remember a time when he used to treat me that same way. He doesn't anymore. He barely helps around the house (without me having to ask) and just sits and watches tv or is on his laptop while I cook or do any other chores. I have to literally beg him to pick up after himself. He never takes initiative to help me out with anything and just sits around kind of EXPECTING me to cater to him. I'm that type of girl though. I love catering to my man. What I don't love is when it all goes unnoticed and when everything I do becomes expected instead of appreciated.
I work a well paid full-time desk job and since he just recently started working, I have been the one paying all the bills. However, while he was unemployed, I would leave for work in the mornings and leave him sleeping and I would come home to find him on the couch watching tv... he didn't even try to clean up a little bit, the house would be more messy than it was when I left, and he never EVER took the initiative to cook me some dinner. I would have to come home tired from work to cook and clean for him when he spent all day doing absolutely nothing - plus , again, I was paying all the bills. It's all just so frustrating and depressing!
I would really hate to have to walk out on this long-term relationship but lately I've been realizing that the "long term" part of it is the only thing keeping me in it. I just hate the thought of having to start over again with someone new. I feel ready for marriage and family and it scares me to think that the man I thought was "the one" is in fact NOT. He is an extremely funny and witty guy. He is actually very smart but he never graduated high school because he was one of those rebellious kids -- but I don't really see any serious intent to finish his education though which is another problem because I have a Bachelor's degree and sometimes I feel he is intimidated or almost ashamed about that.
Anyway, once upon a time he treated me like a princess and I hold on to the hopes we can return to that state again but I don't see it happening. :( He is not the greatest looking guy in the world, but now he is in great shape and he is turning some female heads - which was rare before. People have said to us jokingly before that I'm too pretty for him and instead of feeling proud to have me as his girl I actually feel like he resents me. Sometimes I think it is his own insecurities that make him treat me so bad and try to put me down maybe cause he thinks I want someone better or he wants to prove that he can do better.
IDK, I feel like he is trying to prove others wrong by trying to spark the interest of a prettier girl. Or maybe he's just tired of me. or maybe I am needy and insecure and no one else would put up with me like he says. All i know is that I feel extremely lonely and depressed and I'm not sure if I should just stick around to see if he changes or should I just walk away. It is breaking my heart. I'm 24 years old, I don't know how going back to the dating scene would work out for me. I feel like anybody good is already taken.
Please share your kind thoughts.
Thanks for reading.
I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years (on and off) but lately I have been feeling as miserable as if I was single AND lonely. I have tried talking to him about the way I have been feeling and how I feel a disconnect in our relationship but just touching the subject usually brings me to tears and he just seems annoyed by it and tells me I'm just a needy and insecure girl. He lives with me and we sleep in the same bed, but that's about it. He seems to think that I should be content with his mere presence and that constant physical affection and attention from him is unnecessary. We barely have sex anymore and when we do it's rarely passionate. I don't feel desired by him anymore. He doesn't tell me I'm beautiful as often as he did in the past and he has become very critical of me recently by deliberately pointing out certain flaws in my body. I see him checking out other girls when we are at the gym and it makes me feel so disrespected.
We started going to gym a lot last year and it went from being a "fit couple" thing to being all about him. He is so full of himself! He has become very vain, always looking and flexing in the mirror, and he no longer waits for me to get home from work to go the gym together, he goes by himself, cooks only his meals and is only concerned with his own progress. To top it off, he even recently started working front desk at our gym and I've seen how friendly, polite and willing he is to help customers and even though I know that's his job, I remember a time when he used to treat me that same way. He doesn't anymore. He barely helps around the house (without me having to ask) and just sits and watches tv or is on his laptop while I cook or do any other chores. I have to literally beg him to pick up after himself. He never takes initiative to help me out with anything and just sits around kind of EXPECTING me to cater to him. I'm that type of girl though. I love catering to my man. What I don't love is when it all goes unnoticed and when everything I do becomes expected instead of appreciated.
I work a well paid full-time desk job and since he just recently started working, I have been the one paying all the bills. However, while he was unemployed, I would leave for work in the mornings and leave him sleeping and I would come home to find him on the couch watching tv... he didn't even try to clean up a little bit, the house would be more messy than it was when I left, and he never EVER took the initiative to cook me some dinner. I would have to come home tired from work to cook and clean for him when he spent all day doing absolutely nothing - plus , again, I was paying all the bills. It's all just so frustrating and depressing!
I would really hate to have to walk out on this long-term relationship but lately I've been realizing that the "long term" part of it is the only thing keeping me in it. I just hate the thought of having to start over again with someone new. I feel ready for marriage and family and it scares me to think that the man I thought was "the one" is in fact NOT. He is an extremely funny and witty guy. He is actually very smart but he never graduated high school because he was one of those rebellious kids -- but I don't really see any serious intent to finish his education though which is another problem because I have a Bachelor's degree and sometimes I feel he is intimidated or almost ashamed about that.
Anyway, once upon a time he treated me like a princess and I hold on to the hopes we can return to that state again but I don't see it happening. :( He is not the greatest looking guy in the world, but now he is in great shape and he is turning some female heads - which was rare before. People have said to us jokingly before that I'm too pretty for him and instead of feeling proud to have me as his girl I actually feel like he resents me. Sometimes I think it is his own insecurities that make him treat me so bad and try to put me down maybe cause he thinks I want someone better or he wants to prove that he can do better.
IDK, I feel like he is trying to prove others wrong by trying to spark the interest of a prettier girl. Or maybe he's just tired of me. or maybe I am needy and insecure and no one else would put up with me like he says. All i know is that I feel extremely lonely and depressed and I'm not sure if I should just stick around to see if he changes or should I just walk away. It is breaking my heart. I'm 24 years old, I don't know how going back to the dating scene would work out for me. I feel like anybody good is already taken.
Please share your kind thoughts.
Thanks for reading.
This may sound harsh but stop your complaining and think about those who are in that situation. Everyone wants that fairytale romance sitting under the sun with their loved on (and yes even us guys believe it or not) but life isn't fair nobody said it was. I've been married for 20 years, never divorced and one child and even my spouse and I have lost much desire and passion for each other but we both do the right thing, the honorable thing and stay together to make sure our daughter has a fighting chance in this world. Am I unhappy with my love life? Yes. Is she? Yes. But feelings can change so before you start crying over your little 7 year spat with a boyfriend try thinking about those of us who have invested 20 damn years with child and are struggling to keep a dying flame alive.
I'll probably die unhappy but not before my daughter makes it first. No matter how disappointed I am with my love life I will never run out on her. What your experiencing is small game compared to me and many others.
Now STOP crying about it and move on!!! *geesh*
It sucks living my life so unhappy but when your love dies it almost never comes back. Now, you really think YOUR problem is so big? I've spent 20 years invested and half of that unhappy but I now realize my job is my kid not that I'm not getting horny enough.
There are guys that are looking for a free ride. There are millions of girls that will give it to them. If you won't, there are 10 more lined up willing to take it on.
The only thing you did wrong is to put up with it for 7 years. Girl, you are 24. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Typical female response.
You know why women love dogs so much? Because men are not stupid enough to listen to them.