Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I joined here today because I just can't take this anymore. I want the world to stop and let me off... I've had what I call a 'run-away day' - a day where I wish I could just run away from it all and start over somewhere else.
To give a bit of history when I was 13 I started taking major anxiety attacks... my parents could not take me out shopping - they would have to literally carry me out of the mall; I'd go white as a sheet, week and nauseous and my head would just spin. Sometimes I actually threw up. This continued through my teen years and happened in crowded places like malls or any crowd of people if I got caught at the front or in the middle. As I got older I'm sure I was depressed. I married an alcoholic and had four kids, life was tough and I had very low self-esteem.
I joined emotions anonymous and found a group of caring people who became my main support system. Finally I could go out shopping, visit friends, call people (still not good at this)etc. manytimes though I felt like I was losing my mind and the panic attacks would start again.
4 and 1/2 yrs ago I left my husband and thought I would finally make a better life for myself. Well its just been struggle after struggle and it feels like I'm not getting where I wanted to be. The challenges never end and even my friends and coworkers are famous for telling me 'if you didn't have bad luck you'd have no luck at all' My father has been fighting cancer for over a year (he's not doing well), my 17 yr old daughter got pregnant and had a baby(they live with me), my back got very bad, work was very rocky this year, had to get a new car, moved 3 times in 12 months (family reasons), ex isn't paying child support, daughter's baby has medical issues which I have to pay for and I'm so financially strapped. The list just goes on and on. I know all this stuff is weighing on my mind and stressing me out but I was prone to sadness and hopelessness before all this.
So I finally break down and go to my doctor. I have never been medicated for anxiety or depression except a brief try on elavil when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (not sure I actually have it). I talk to my doctor about everything and he asks one question "Are you suicidal", I said no, life is hell but I would never kill myself.. I wouldn't do that to my family. He says to me "if you're not suicidal you're not depressed" but wrote a prescription for wellbutrin at the same time. Has anyone else heard this before? I think its perfectly reasonable that a person can be depressed, overcome with sadness and feeling completely hopeless without necessarily being suicidal. What do you think?
To give a bit of history when I was 13 I started taking major anxiety attacks... my parents could not take me out shopping - they would have to literally carry me out of the mall; I'd go white as a sheet, week and nauseous and my head would just spin. Sometimes I actually threw up. This continued through my teen years and happened in crowded places like malls or any crowd of people if I got caught at the front or in the middle. As I got older I'm sure I was depressed. I married an alcoholic and had four kids, life was tough and I had very low self-esteem.
I joined emotions anonymous and found a group of caring people who became my main support system. Finally I could go out shopping, visit friends, call people (still not good at this)etc. manytimes though I felt like I was losing my mind and the panic attacks would start again.
4 and 1/2 yrs ago I left my husband and thought I would finally make a better life for myself. Well its just been struggle after struggle and it feels like I'm not getting where I wanted to be. The challenges never end and even my friends and coworkers are famous for telling me 'if you didn't have bad luck you'd have no luck at all' My father has been fighting cancer for over a year (he's not doing well), my 17 yr old daughter got pregnant and had a baby(they live with me), my back got very bad, work was very rocky this year, had to get a new car, moved 3 times in 12 months (family reasons), ex isn't paying child support, daughter's baby has medical issues which I have to pay for and I'm so financially strapped. The list just goes on and on. I know all this stuff is weighing on my mind and stressing me out but I was prone to sadness and hopelessness before all this.
So I finally break down and go to my doctor. I have never been medicated for anxiety or depression except a brief try on elavil when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (not sure I actually have it). I talk to my doctor about everything and he asks one question "Are you suicidal", I said no, life is hell but I would never kill myself.. I wouldn't do that to my family. He says to me "if you're not suicidal you're not depressed" but wrote a prescription for wellbutrin at the same time. Has anyone else heard this before? I think its perfectly reasonable that a person can be depressed, overcome with sadness and feeling completely hopeless without necessarily being suicidal. What do you think?
Thanks for confirming my thoughts... when he said that I felt like was just calling me weak or stupid.. He said it was 'just' transition disorder because I can deal with the changes in my life since my divorce. That was over 4 years ago and I have moved on. Many other things have changed since then but that's life isn't it?
You have a lot on your back I understand how you must be feeling. People tell me I have really bad luck too. I swear everything happens to me. It's weird.
Stay strong and I hope you find a good doctor. A lot if times people think depression is a lame excuse for things, or an imaginary problem weak people have. It's amazing the ignorance around it.
For instance my dad. I love him to pieces, and he's good to talk to when he's not busy, but he can't understand my depression. He says he's been through hell and never got depressed. And it's true, I mean he struggled with poverty his whole childhood, he was a neglected kid. Tons of problems at home. And it's hard for him to
understand how a girl like me who seemingly has everything can't be happy. And I know he's right. I have many good things going for me, but I have this depression that has gotten in the way of my life and I've been stuck with it for years, I don't get it either. I treat, it comes back.
Sure our family has had greater issues than his ever did, and I feel that is the root of my problem. But he still can't see it.
And trust me, even doctors are ignorant about depression. Go to a psychiatrist and he'll sort you out.