Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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in trouble

whatswrong19
whatswrong19
I'm a social worker. In court over a case now where a child is being cared for, mom has cancer, but mom keeps testing positive for drugs that are illegal. The agency is telling me we have to take the child out of the home. It's really so hard for me, this case is, I've been doing this for years and never had one this hard on me emotionally. I was thinking about how much I hate this job today as I was driving down the road today, and thinking about how I should go buy a gun, so that if I get to that point, where I'm completely done, just done trying to take care of everyone and killing myself mentally to do it, I'll just end it. I have made another appointment with my psych to change my medicine for tomorrow, because I'm afraid of what I'm going to do, I can't take the meds he has prescribed me, cause it makes me extremely sick, like I have the flu and a stomach bug combined. I've got to get back on meds, everything is making me depressed, upset or angry.
whatswrong19
whatswrong19
Let me add that I'm not suicidal Right now. I haven't been that way since I started working for this new agency. It's much better than where I come from. But it concerns me how low I got today. The fact that I thought I might want to end my own life in the future. It's red flag for me that I need to get better, that I can spiral into making a serious attempt. It's been years since I've made any serious attempts.
whatswrong19
whatswrong19
But I am just reaching out for support. I feel really really bad about what we are doing to to this family
BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
Wow I can't imagine how hard it must be to be in your position. If you get to the point where you are completely done maybe you can look into finding a new job. That would be a much better solution. I'm sorry you have gotten this low. You made the right decision to make an appointment with your psych. I hope you get on the right meds and get the help you need. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
whatswrong19
whatswrong19
Thanks Blueyonder. I hear ya on getting new job. Easier said then done but I have posted applications in other places. I need the same pay or more. I want a job where my day isn't spent feeling like a fool or an asshole. But when you get so low, so low you don't see any silver lining or way out. When it comes to getting new jobs I'm cursed. Criminal record from when I was 18. Misdemeanor but in small towns it's a big deal.
BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
I know what you mean about getting so low you don't see any silver lining or a way out. I unfortunately feel that way a lot and have these thoughts too often. I hope you are able to find something good with a comparable pay.
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
I usd to be in socal work and it was tough. SO much manipulation and being made out to be the bad guy. And that as a job wehre we were doing nothing more than trying to help people. I take it you work for CPS which means you make a lot of people mad when you take thier kids away and then have to deal with the kids who have been abused and neglected. Very difficult. And somehow this case is really doing a number on you emotionally. Yes I agree that a new job would be great if you can find something.
Diane-M
Diane-M
Yep...I'm another with a social work degree who got out. But good for you for realizing you need some extra help right get now. No buying a gun!!
survivor69
survivor69
U R IN A TOUGH JOB ESPECIALLY IF U R SUFFERING WITH CLINICAL DEPRESSION.
HELP IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER HUN'
GBU
DRENA B
;-O
whatswrong19
whatswrong19
Thanks for the comments. This is what's so good about this place. I can come here and tell my deepest woes and deepest darkest thoughts, and get support, and then some of the darkness gets blown away for me. I'm in a better place today, I've started new medication. It hasn't really had time to do anything, but being able to come here and voice my feeling, those dark thoughts, helps it to go away sometimes, and this is one of those times. Thanks for the support
whatswrong19
whatswrong19
Diane, so how did you get out if you don't mind my asking, because there may come a day when I want out.
BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
You're welcome for the support. I hope you can continue to feel better and your medication will make a difference!
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