I was put into the ICU last Thursday due to a severe asthma attack which sent me into respiratory failure. The next day I was weaned off mechanical ventilation and I was in the ICU until Monday night. In this ICU stay I also had open surgery to remove my appendix as it was found to be infected. Now I'm in the general respiratory ward slowly recovering.
It's now over a week later and my boyfriend has come to see me once, and that's because his mum wanted to come past to see how I am.
I feel so put aside in his life. It was more important for him to go get a free basketball with his best mate than to be able to see me. I don't want to seem like I expect to be important, but I feel so worthless.
Because I have been hospitalised so many times, the nurses here know me very well and trust me to take my medication even when they aren't present. Which I do, they unlock my draw, give me all my tablets and leave the room while they tend to other patients because they know that I know how much of each thing I must take. But I've lost all motivation to even remotely care, I don't even want to take them anymore.
I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to feel valued or that my boyfriend is genuinely concerned, but I don't feel any of that. Even when he visited me in the ICU with his mum, he didn't barely spoke the whole time, it was just his mum and myself.
I don't know if it is his way of dealing with it, but I have been with him for 4 years and he knows that my condition is quite serious. I don't know what to do..
Yesterday I had to tell my 20 year old son that a friend he had known since elementary school died. Not just died but that she was murdered in a drive by shooting. I hoped my son would never again be touched by murder. His father was murdered when I was 5 months pregnant. It absolutely broke my heart to utter those words to him yesterday. And such a sensless act. Its a sad world we live in. ...
Ive already poseted this to the rape support group. I kust want to share my story. Im ready toI’m going to take you back. No not to the beginning, but to the nights that will haunt me forever. Night 1: October 13, 2014. My 19th birthday, the night my whole life changed. Now this isn’t easy to write and I’m going to get in to major details. My birthday, I had to work that night at steak n...