I feel like I'm in a continual nightmare. Can't seem to get a fulltime job. The part-time subbing is going terribly. The last long-term assignment was disastrous and I left after two weeks. It was chaos in one of the classes, a major problem or scene each day. One student was grabbing his crotch and saying "want some of this?"(to me)  and didn't get suspended. The students found my online accounts and told me and that is when I decided to leave, after getting the flu.  It just was not worth it.

I was taking a variety of jobs and then a nearly three month job came through and I accepted it. It looked really good, at a high school, which I like, and covering art. I really like special areas like that. Last Friday, I got an ominous call from the department head, leaving a message, saying, "I think I need to tell you what has been going on here."  I call back and she tells me that they would much rather have a fully certififed art professional...which is not me...I am language certified, and then tells me that they can't keep anyone in there.  She basically talked me right out of taking it. At the end of the call I said to call me back in a couple of hours when she decided what she wanted.

A rep from the district called back and you could tell they were absolutely desperate, saying how their behavior was really bad, but, "that's just the way it is" and went on this long spiel about how they were having a parade....I declined.

Each job I take is nearly impossible and every day is a nightmare and out of control. Last week there were several incidents and then one day a fight broke out in a classroom,  the kid was only in fourth grade, but then he turned on me, grabbed both of my arms and started throttling me.

This week is fall break, and I could be picking up extra hours by working in the other districts, I just can't bring myself to do it. Being there makes me so depressed.  Plus applying to fulltime jobs is extremely consuming, I basically have to create a separate resume and cover letter for each job. I took a personal day to tailor one of my resumes yesterday, it took me five hours.  It seems like there is no way out of my situation, looks hopeless. I watched a webinar this morning where this woman has a 'job search school' but you have to pay $700.00 to take the course. It had bad reviews online, and I can't pay for that anyway. 

I really needed to get to therapy yesterday, but the secretary forgot to notify me that my therapist's plane was delayed and she would not be in. I was sat waiting at the office.