I'm new to this site, it was recommended to me. (Even though, I am stating from the start I do not think it will help me) but with my time drawing to an end I figure one last out reach for help can't hurt. I've had depression and anxiety as far back as I can remember. I went through the medication and psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, and psychologist, even institutionalized. Everything I've tried and nothing has helped. And for a while I started loosing hope, I didn't see a way out of this madness. But now I do, and it's the only way to end it. The constant voices in my head that consume my thoughts. The vivid images of death that always invade my mind. And when it's none of those... it's the nothingness that devours me from the inside out, completely numb to existence. Do you know what it's like to walk down the street and feel so empty you actually start to feel transparent or translucent. You feel your very essence diminish and you are simply a body going along with the motions? So separate from reality. I just cannot fit into society any longer. I am loosing the ability to fake it anymore, because what's the point? I've lost it and I cannot regain it this time.