Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
There is a man sitting in the recliner in the family room in my house. He looks like my dad. He sounds like my dad. But he is most definitely not my dad.
I want to say it started about 5 years ago. My grandmother passed away and my dad didn't talk about it. He didn't cry. He acted like nothing had happened.
A year later, my grandfather passed away. Again, Dad didn't cry. He didn't talk about it. He acted like nothing happened.
The following year, Dad's dog died. And it's been downhill ever since.
He used to be a fun person to be around. We could joke around with him, we'd go out on the weekends, we'd have actual conversations.
Now he goes to work, comes home, and sits in his recliner and stares at his phone until he goes to bed, and the cycle repeats.
He is nasty, grumpy, and down right mean to my mother and I. My mother told me that she feels like he doesn't love her anymore. We can't talk to him, we can't ask him questions. He yells at us and tells us to leave him alone. He chalks it all up to just being tired. He has also regressed to child-like behavior: He is addicted to games on his phone. He mimicks people when they say things he doesn't like.
I suffer from depression and have for a long time. But, I'm starting to think my father does, too. The only difference, is that he is in denile and refuses to go get help. He doesn't think he does anything wrong.
Being around him is starting to have negative affects on the progress that I've made with my depression and anxiety. As soon as he comes home, my heart immediately starts to race because I know that within 10 minutes of being home, my mother and him will get into a fight. And when they do fight, I numb, my ears ring, and I start to have a panic attack.
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel hopeless.
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
Don’t give up on your dad he loves you no matter what he does, and so does your mother.
Time will tell what the future has in store for you and your dad. Don’t give up on him.
Also when a man doesn’t cry it’s pride and sometimes denial don’t let that make you think he’s heartless those people that your dad has lost must mean a lot to him.
Hope you feel somewhat better! ((Hugs))
Have you tried writing your dad a letter. Telling him how much you miss him, the way he used to be? How you know that he must be very sad at losing his mom and dad and dog in such a short space of time, and how you know it can be hard to talk about, but closing up inside himself isn't the way to do it. Ask him if he's thought about writing a letter to his mom and day telling thim how much he misses them and how sad it made him. Telling them that he didn't know how to work through the sadness and he just feels angry all the time. He can write whatever he wants. Then maybe you and him could take the letter/letters to the cemetery and bury them at their headstones. Often a therapeutic release like writing a letter to a passed loved one can be very therapeutic, and taking it to their grave and burying it symbolizes giving it to them. You could wrap up your letter to your dad telling him that these days your a little scared of him, because you never know when he'll be angry and yell at you, and you love him and really don't want to be scared of him, because he's your daddy. Tell him you miss the way he was before and you really wish things could get back there.
This would be one way to help him see how much these deaths have affected him and your family without getting in his face and starting a big confrontation. Sometimes a mans pride stops him from talking and sometimes he's so trapped in his grief he just doesn't get how much he's changed and how much the anger has taken over.
Its up to you if you want to try the letter thing. I hope that there still time for your family to make it back to the loving family you once were.
Take care,
Kat
Give him a plant. (I kill plants, but some people devote themselves to them. I find them to be strange people...with green thumbs...they may be aliens...)
Borrow a friends young children and bring them to the house.
Ask to take a picture with him.
Pull up a chair beside him, sit with him, cuddle and just watch him play his game. Tell him that he's good at it. Feel his breath, his warmth, enjoy just Having him there.